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Technology and Relationships: How the Internet and Smart Phones Can Ruin Your Relationship

Updated on May 18, 2012
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How Social Networks Can Affect Relationships

Almost everyone is involved in some sort of social network. It started out as MySpace and has turned into the world of Facebook and Twitter users. Up until about a month ago I didn't know what a "tweet" was and wasn't very interested in finding out about it. These networks are not only for finding old school friends but for promoting yourself to the public. Social networks help you put yourself out to others in a whole new way that you normally would not in a person-person social setting.

These social networks can be great for businesses and icons to gain fans and feedback but they can be harmful to your relationship. As a female, I see other females posting pictures of themselves trying to look "cute" and "sexy" in order for others to "like" their photos and get a boost of confidence. I will use Facebook as my main example because this is the social network that most people use that are online for mainly social purposes. We are all aware of the men and women who exploit themselves on these sites seeking approval and recognition, but, it hurts when our partners notice these people and "like" what they are throwing out. In a world before Facebook existed this would be the same as sitting down with your boyfriend/girlfriend at lunch and having them yell out "Hey, lookin' good!" at someone across the room.

This sort of setting makes for unnecessary competition in your relationship. Should our feelings really be hurt that our partners "like" someone's photo that they hardly/never see? It really shouldn't be that big of a deal, but it sometimes is. No average person wants somebody popping up talking to their partner throughout the day saying "Hey, I think you're cute!" Even if you are a very secure person these comments can still irritate you and wonder why this person suddenly has so much interest in your partner and what you partner could have done or said to provoke it.

On top of the unwanted interactions of others on Facebook they also have a relationship status that is oh-so-important. The "in a relationship" status is now more serious than sleeping with someone. Your friends and family are now welcome to openly comment on you relationship status which is usually full of controversy and comments from others like "Oh..." and "Now I see why you stopped talking to me." Also, do you decide to add just WHO you are in a relationship with so they can be ridicule further? Who knows.

The bottom line is that people spend too much time analyzing what their partner's "friends" say to them online and how it pertains to them personally. You shouldn't really care if your guy or girl likes someone's hot photo or not, but now it is made public and slightly changes how it is looked at.

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Too Much Cell Phone/Computer Use Leads to Questions

There is no sane reason to constantly be on your phone and to have constant text messages coming in unless you are some sort of celebrity icon. This type of behavior can lead to questions in relationships especially if you are not open and honest about who keeps text messaging you during your special movie night with your significant other. There are times when we are in deep unintellectual conversations with our aunt but some things can wait.

When someone is so urgently text messaging your boyfriend/girlfriend questions are bound to arise. If you are the questioner don't jump to conclusions. Remember the deep conversation with your aunt that you kept replying to? If you want to know who they are talking to then just ask! Don't ask in jealous, demanding manner but just say something like "Hey, is the world ending? Why so many texts?" It is sad that so many people are glued to their cell phones for entertainment and attachment to the world but, chances are, you like your cell phone too... so don't freak out just keep calm and don't be afraid to ask for honesty.

Technology and Jealousy in Relationships

Why do we get jealous that our partner just "liked" someone's half-naked new photo? It's because we hear about so much cheating going on in the media! There are a ton of searches online everyday like "is my boyfriend/girlfriend cheating on me." We hear about people cheating on their spouses and boyfriends/girlfriends so much that we start to wonder if this dirty deed is being done to us. We always hear about the person that had no clue their partner was cheating and they magically found out one day and are devastated. No one wants to be on the receiving end of this situation.

These stories in the media make us wonder why our partner is always on their phone or constantly checking their social network account. Oh, and when they are checking messages from the opposite sex, we really start the investigating. Who is this person? Are they in a relationship? Is this person attractive? How do they know my partner?

Do you look through your partner's phone or computer?

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Spying on Your Partner

The jealousy created from these technologically-based situations can cause you to start spying on your partner. This can involve looking though their cell phones, their computers, and investigating their every action on social sites. This is not everyone's idea of a good way to spend their time but must we do this to avoid being deceived?

The answer is no. Don't let electronic interactions spoil your relationship and ruin your life by making you jealous and stressed out. Of course if there is something you see your partner do let them know and ask them to stop or change it. If they are not willing to comply to this, there might be a reason to start asking questions. They key is communication. If your partner has never lied to you then don't let the world of social networking and constant text messaging lead you to be a jealous, inquisitive person for no reason.


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    • karthikkash profile image

      Karthik Kashyap 5 years ago from India

      You hit the nail right on the head.. It has contributed to my own jealousy about someone in recent times :( Only once I had a conversation did many things clear up. I have realized that what they do online really shouldn't most times.

    • Charlu profile image

      Charlu 5 years ago from Florida

      Great hub and I've seen it cause so many problems in relationships. I think part of the problem is the amount of time taken away from each other. Up, useful and interesting

    • Sadie14 profile image
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      Brittany B 5 years ago from U.S.

      Thank you karthikkash, I know exactly what you mean and have been through the same myself. It's tough but you learn to be honest and open and everything gets easier.

    • Sadie14 profile image
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      Brittany B 5 years ago from U.S.

      Thank you Charlu, I have seen technology ruin relationships too. Some of it is taking time away but I think a lot of it depends on exactly what you and your partner use it for. It's usually innocent but it's hard not to wonder!

    • wayseeker profile image

      wayseeker 5 years ago from Colorado

      I very much liked how this hub walked through the thinking on some of these issues. I do not own a cell phone (quite an oddity these days) but I do use facebook regularly. As a middle school teacher, however, I see it being used in ways very different from what I do, along with texting, messaging, and a bunch other things I don't fully understand.

      The interaction is not fundamentally different from what it is without technology, but, as your hub points to, it accelerates the process and opens up a bunch of additional windows for suspicion and misunderstanding. This is an interesting world in which we live, and this hub gives us some things to think about.

      Thanks!

      wayseeker

      Voted up and interesting.

    • profile image

      Jacquelyn 4 years ago

      Wow this is dead on! Wonderful article!! Love this.

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      Grace 4 years ago

      So in a relationship on facebook without the word married to....... means sleeping together, having sexual relationship, cohabiting, rite? Just to make it sound "approved and secured" ... and some of them still flirt and cheat because they are still owing their own personal life... that is separate lives! what for use such a term when it is all self-deception....in some cases they post their pics to tell the world they are attached! (actually having sex together....)

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