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How The Dad Bod Is The Empitomy of Failure For The Millennial Generation

Updated on May 14, 2015

I’m not a dad, at least I don't think so, probably not.…..hopefully. It’s nice not being a dad: I get to sleep in on the weekends, I can come and go without permission, and my TV does not require me put in a parental code when I want to watch the Spike channel.

This dad bod craze has a ice bucket challenge/color of dress vibe to it but the staying power of a Kardashian. Guys are foregoing the pre workouts and protein powders for natty lights and taco bell. Getting the dad bod takes no effort, hard work or talent to acquire, it’s the Iggy Azealea of body types.

The dad bod is being celebrating all over the internet with social media accounts dedicated the bulbous frat body type. Sites are blowing up dedicated to the guys with Sperry boat shoes and dad’s credit cards sticking out their guts in pride, looking out at world that will bless them sleep apnea and diabetes.

The dad bod’s most celebrated icon is Leonardo DiCaprio. If you think you can pull off the dad bod and get tons of women because Leonardo DiCaprio can, you need to remember 2 things: he has more money and is more successful than you’ll ever be. I’m sure he wouldn't have dated Bar Rafeli if he was a manager at Best Buy like your liberal art degree will set you up for.

Most woman want the dad bod boy because unlike guys who are consistently at the gym, they are not thought to be self consumed about themselves and will consider their needs

Men are men, no matter if they can bench quadruple their IQ or not. Difference with men who take care of their bodies, they hold higher standards to their woman. Women say they don’t want a man that is in better shape than them, but why not? If you feel that a guy with a great body can get any women and he chooses you, shouldn’t that make you feel better about yourself?

If Hipo-dad-bod-opotmus doesn't care about eating papa john’s and ramen, do you think he cares about the quality of his women? He’s the one that won’t leave the bar on half price beer night until last call. Usually those guys will pick any woman with a pulse. Does a woman feel good about guy that would only chose you because it was either that or self gratification than Call of Duty, which he’ll probably play the second he done with you because, you know, noobs have to pwned.

Women make think they like the dad bod, but they’re probably be the same ones that will be first in line for the new Magic Mike movie, only for incredible dancing and Joe Maganiello supreme acting I presume.

The dad bod is a new example for the settling and not excelling lifestyle that the millennial generation has adapted. Our expansion into technology and social media has led to a sense of entitlement and ironically lack of social skills. You make think the invention of tinder has increased kids sexual prowess, but in fact, studies have shown that this generation on the average have less sexual partner than of their parents.

It’s not for a lack of trying, it’s for a lack of continually trying. Now with everything at our fingertips it seems that anything that takes effort seems tedious. The dad bod is the perfect example of that. You don't have to try to get the dad bod.

For every Mark Zuckerburg there are 20 Kardashians. Instead of trying to find success through their our intellect and dedication, we tend to try to use people’s short attention span to seek fame.

The girl who’s picture was liked by Lebron James wants to drop out of veternarian school and pursue modeling. Forget saving animals and bettering yourself through hard work, a famous athlete liked my photo.

The dad bod is just another example of the young generation deciding that it’s better to not work hard, whether it be fitness or success in life. This privileged lifestyle has led men to not only want beer bellies and man boobs, but for the unhealthy lifestyle to celebrated like their Roman Gladiators of beer bongs. Let’s just hope for sake of humanity, that maybe the Harlem Shake can make a comeback, at least these guys can get some exercise

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