- Gender and Relationships
How To Approach A Woman Without Getting Slapped
"What's your sign?" in the 1970s, this was the coolest pick-up line around. It
referred to astrology, as in your astrological sign, or horoscope. I guess at
the beginning, guys got a lot of women this way, but over time the girls got
sick of hearing it and it eventually turned into a joke.
The reason, of course, is this: if a pickup line, or opening line, is too
cliched, a reasonably intelligent woman will see right through it.
The thing is, your line does not have to be the most original thing in the
world. It's more important that it be natural, fitting with the occasion, and
One of the best things you can do is just say "Hi." Asking the girl's name
before you've even started talking to each other can be seen as a little
intrusive. If "hi" turns into a good conversation, then of course ask for her
name (and number, eventually); if not, just move on.
"Wait a minute! Can't I be funny?! I thought women like guys with a good sense
of humor!" you might be thinking. The answer is, we absolutely do, if it is
natural and not forced. If you make a joke about the drunk guy screaming at the
end of the bar, that's great. If you come up to us and tell us a joke out of
nowhere, not so great. You come off looking desperate. And that, of course, is
not what you want!
"What about her appearance?" you might be asking. "Can I tell her how hot she
is?" Well, this one's a little tricky. While I repeat my mantra that women LOVE
compliments, you have to match your intensity to the situation. If you walk up
to a girl who is not a porn star and tell her she is hot and sexy, yes, she'll
be flattered - but she'll also feel put on the spot. She'll probably assume you
only want to sleep with her - and even if that's not true, she won't believe it.
This will put her in a defensive mode and it will be hard to get her to trust
you. Better to say something like, "That's a beautiful dress". Don't talk
about her body - it's presumptuous and can be seen as insulting.
And whatever you do, don't spout a gag line. One example is "If I said you had
a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" (Get it? "Hold it against me"
has two meanings; being annoyed at someone about something and also literally
holding something against someone physically.)
So just say a simple "hello", make an observation about what is going on around
you in the moment, and hopefully you'll be on your way to a great conversation
with a great girl.