How To Be A Real Man

I like men. Wait, let me rephrase that: I like real men. At the time of my birth, real men were on already on their way out, but there were still a good number around. Today this breed is all but extinct. Darwin may have had a point or two about biological evolution (although, obviously, he wasn't entirely correct about everything, as we are now discovering -- more on that some other time) but it's the evolution of character that matters most.

Sadly, the majority of the male sex seems to have come to a complete standstill in that regard, apart from those who have actually turned round and started some sort of bizarre regression. And before you ask, this isn't about homosexuality; I've probably seen more gay men who embody my ideal of what a real man should be. And yes, I've met a few straight men who I'd label real men, as well -- but I've not encountered such men in a very long time and, frankly, I'm starting to lose hope. If you happen to possess all of these characteristics, or even a few, I'd be very, very impressed.

Real men take responsibility for their actions.

Real men do not blame society, their parents, the man, or anything else for their mistakes. Real men, when questioned about something which is obviously their fault, don't reply with, "Yes, I made an error in that report, but Andy in Accounting was distracting me at the time I did it." Real men realize that only they, themselves, are responsible for their own behavior.

Real men do not whinge when faced with a problem.

Real men do not kick the dirt, stop their feet and ask, "Why me?" when their girlfriend reveals that she's pregnant. A real man doesn't blame her for it, as he realizes the conception was far from immaculate. A real man simply deals with the situation head on, as opposed to wasting precious time complaining or wondering how the situation arose in the first place.

Real men do not hit women.

Unless a GlOW girl has you in a headlock, a real man doesn't hit a woman, nor does he physically intimidate or threaten her. (Erm, unless she's really kinky like that, and some women are...) In war settings, obviously, different rules will apply and those women should be prepared and know what they can expect. But with regards to domestic violence, no real man ever hit a woman. This doesn't mean a man should let a woman hit him, either, but if you're capable of restraining her, that's what you do -- and then you get a new girlfriend, cos that one's got issues.

Real men do not hit other men unless provoked.

Again, war settings are different for obvious reasons, but real men don't get into barfights or other situations either. This isn't because they are wussies; it's because they have self-control and don't have anything to prove because they are already perfectly self-confident. It is never sexy to see a man hurt someone. Self-defense is perfectly understandable, but blatant violence never is.