- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
How To Be Her Knight In Shining Armor
Is Chivalry Dead?
Does a woman even want a knight in shining armor anymore? Or is that an outdated way of thinking? The answer is clear and simple: YES! Yes, she does!
While it isn't the same as it was 50 years ago, a woman still does (and always will) want a man who is chivalrous, charming, and devoted to her. So let's talk about how you can be a knight in shining armor for her in today's world.
The New World Order:
Women are far more independent then they were "back in the day". The messages they have been raised with dictate that they must be fully capable without the help of a man. While this often times leaves men feeling "obsolete", it is by no means the truth of the matter.
Fear not brave sir, for you are still very much needed!
Whatever you do, don't try to take away from her independence without asking permission first. This shows respect and consideration. It earns major points with her because you are showing that you are willing to step in without plowing her over.
In many cases it is the thought that counts here. You can be scoring high marks without having to do anything at all! Just by asking and offering, you're winning!
Jacket over the Puddle:
Once upon a time, men were to treat their women like delicate flowers, breakable works of art... this is no longer the case. In fact, it may offend more women than it would impress. So what is a knight to do?
Treat her like a lady anyway!
- Open those door
- Pull out those chairs
- Offer to pay for those dates
- Carry in those groceries
- Fix those things that need fixing
As long as she knows that you are doing it because you want to treat her like the special princess of your heart that she is, not because you think she is feeble and incapable, your woman will love when you do these things for her!
Dost Mine Ears Deceive Me?
Men, men, men... lend me your ear. No, seriously, listen!
The absolute, # 1 thing that you could ever do for your woman is listen!
Women need to talk. They need to talk. It's like the air to them. If they can't open up and talk about anything and everything they feel like they are dying inside.
Dust off your armor and sleigh the dragon by sitting down and lending her those ears!
When a woman talks and gets out all of that crazy information trapped inside of her head, she feels more open. Open to love. Open to physical intimacy. Open to meeting all of your needs & more!
A man who listens to his woman's crazy ramblings in an accepting manner gets more points than all the others combined! She will brag about you to everyone. She will be so filled with love and happiness you'll feel like a King rather than a knight.
Climbing the Castle Tower:
Check your gear to make sure you're ready for this climb. Women still want you to scale that wall and prove to them that you aren't just after the "booty". Only it doesn't stop once you've reached the top and claimed your true love as your own.
Even after you've been together for "ever after"... she still expects and needs you to do all of those little things you did in the beginning to win her over in the first place. That's why she thought you were such a great guy. If you stop doing them, you're just a guy.
Shining Armor Checklist:
- The ability to listen without judgement or try to "fix" what she is talking about (unless she asks specifically for your advice or help)
- The willingness to do the "little things" in the beginning all the way through to the end.
- The desire to make her feel like a lady
- The ability to accept when she declines your assistance without taking as a rejection
- The means to offer her support in all avenues (whether she accepts or declines)
Sword & Shield
Women want to feel safe, secure, and protected. This doesn't mean you have to have the biggest muscles or the largest collection of weapons.
This includes: Knowing that all of her needs can and will be met.
Physical needs like: having a roof over her head, food to eat, not needing to worry about the home being broken into, or not fearing that she will be mugged or attacked just by going out to check the mail.
Emotional needs like: feeling secure in the relationship, knowing that you only have eyes for her, she can come to you if she has a problem, she can come to you for comfort when she is sad or upset.
Mental needs like: knowing that you can and will provide intellectually stimulating conversations, that you respect her opinions, that her thoughts are valid, or that her contributions are valued.
I Dub Thee Sir Knight
Just remember here that respect is always the key to any good, quality relationship. You need to respect her just as you want and need her to respect you.
You have now completed your Knight's training and are ready to go take on the world! With the skills you have learned here you are sure to win a fare maiden's heart and live happily ever after.