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How To Catch A Cheating Boyfriend or Girlfriend (And Obtain Proof!)

Updated on December 23, 2015

Is Gut Instinct Usually Right With Cheating In Relationships?

Gut instinct is a strong thing and it has proven itself to be accurate in a lot of instances. That said, there is a big difference between gut instinct and paranoia.

We are now in a society where cheating, adultery and affairs are more accessible than ever and this is because of many different factors including;

  • Longer work hours and people having to work unsociable hours which means it is all too easy to find an attractive colleague who you can't help but spend time with.
  • Social media - from facebook to websites which are set up to help married individuals find affairs locally (disgusting, right?)
  • A surplus of individuals who would sooner cheat than try to smooth out the bumps in their relationship.

No matter their excuse, if you find your partner has cheated on you it is generally best to break up - even if only for two or three weeks to make them understand you are not going to tolerate being treated in such a disrespectful, cruel way. Cheating destroys esteem, relationships and families and it is never a good idea to forgive a cheater without making him/her really show that they are sorry.

Night Recorder

You can purchase night recording apps or actual devices which can sit quite discreetly in a room, on a shelf or any other out-of-sight, mundane place that your spouse may not expect.

Once you decide to set up this type of equipment you are guaranteed to catch your cheating spouse out providing he or she invites their illicit affair into your home (or your partners home, if you don't live together).

You may also consider putting the recording device in your partners car as this can sometimes catch spouses out.

Use Their iPhone Against Them!

"Find My iPhone" is a neat little app which some people install so that when they misplace their phone they can easily check it's whereabouts. If your boyfriend or girlfriend has an iPhone and is going out more than usual you can watch the little blue pin (which represents the phone) on a local map.

In other words if your partner tells you he is going to work and that little blue pin ends up a mile and a half away from his work place you can start asking more questions. My best advice in this situation is to play it as calmly as possible - when your partner walks through the door act as though you know nothing and ask how his day was. Ask how work was and note if he comes back with details that seem to be thought out rather than genuine. (Cheaters often try to fabricate stories to cover their affairs and these stories, or lies, tend not to add up).

Mention that you phoned his work because you were I'll and needed to contact him (or something similar) and you were informed he wasn't there. Then closely watch your partners face while he either becomes agitated with you (a sign of guilt), or desperately starts trying to explain (another sign of guilt). Maybe he will tell you someone that actually makes sense like they were working in a different area due to a meeting he forgot about. In this case ask him to tell you the meetings location and the exact building.

You've got him. If he tells you something that doesn't add up to what you saw on the map you know he's lying because he is having an affair. You do not need further proof. And if he tells you that you are crazy and you aren't thinking clearly ask him to take a lie detector test. You have more than enough on him to request one (and you know there is only one reason someone would refuse a lie detector test).

Contact Spy

Contact Spy is a remarkably popular app which can be installed on your partners phone without him or her ever knowing.

If your partner is cheating, he may have saved the other woman's number under something you wouldn't look twice at like "Work 2" or "Auntie Jean". Once Contact Spy has been put on your partners phone you will be able to see incoming calls from specific numbers, so if "Work 2" is a nightly call (and always when you aren't around) you can go to the next stage; a friend calling the number and asking for a random name. Alarm bells will ring if a female picks up and if this happens in a separate phone call you should phone and ask her how she knows your partner, making it clear you are the girlfriend. Ask her if she knew about you - more often than not these girls have got involved unknowingly with a taken man.

Do not make threats, become angry or shout at this other person. All that anger should be directed at your partner as he has been playing you both - it is not this other woman's fault and it is not yours. It is very unlikely she knew about you.

Set Up Spyware On Your Partner's Webcam

You may scroll straight past this option because you think you aren't technology-savvy enough for tinkering with a homemade spyware surveillance system... But you know what? I caught an ex out in this exact way, and I'm going to talk you through point by point how to do this. You do not need to buy a new webcam (unless you don't have one already) and you don't need to be there to be operating the system. It's so easy you just have to try it!

The Cloud (Thank You Apple!)

Again, for all those scumbags who love their iPhones, the Cloud saves every photo taken on the phone camera - even once the photos have been deleted. So if your spouse has taken photos of the 'other woman/man' then it's right there as proof.

Mobistealth (To Tap Into His Cell)

There are several apps similar to mobistealth and you can browse and choose which one best fits your needs, but once installed you will have access to your partner's

  • Whatsapp messages
  • Texts
  • Incoming calls
  • Facebook
  • emails
  • Skype

and a few others besides. These apps need to be installed onto your partner's phone so get access to his or her phone however you can. There are articles on how to do this.

SpyPal (For Scumbags With PCs or Laptops)

SpyPal and spyware designed for cheating spouses (or rather suspicious spouses), is simple to install on your partner's PC and will grant you access to emails, facebook, Skype and a multitude of other accounts and websites that your partner would most definitely not want you to gain insight to.

How To Gain Access To Your Partner's Phone

If your partner has a phone which calls for a thumbprint in order to gain access to it simply wait until he or she is asleep and then use their thumb to get you in to the phone.

So simple, right?

You can also ask your partner if you can use their phone, if you are granted access by your partner and they aren't watching over your shoulder too closely this is a very positive sign. If however, he or she seems to take ten minutes to hand the phone over while deleting messages this is the complete opposite of "a good sign"


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    • profile image

      amir suhel 

      2 years ago

      this is the good way how to get a cheater

    • FlourishAnyway profile image


      3 years ago from USA

      It seems like it would be really hard to cheat successfully these days if one wanted to. Too many ways to get caught.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      3 years ago

      " there is a big difference between gut instinct and paranoia."

      That difference is usually "experience", "wisdom", & "knowing yourself".

      If you are not someone who has a history of being "insecure" or "paranoid" you should {trust yourself} when you see "red flags".

      If something doesn't (feel) right to you it's probably not right for you!

      The first thing one has to do is decide whether or not cheating is a "deal breaker". If it's not what is the point of trying to prove anything. You've decided you're going to stay with them.

      Secondly you have to determine if you find out that they are NOT cheating and (things remain as they are); would you suddenly be happy? Probably not.

      Bear in mind (people don't change) unless (they) are unhappy.

      Most people who engage in playing detective do so for (ego) reasons. They want to "show their mate/spouse" how clever they were to be able to "bust them". Some do it because they don't trust their instincts.

      The reality is if you are unhappy in a relationship it really doesn't matter if the person is cheating or not. Unfortunately for a lot of people being "unhappy" is not enough of a reason for them to leave.

      And yet no one would advise an unhappy couple to get married!

      These people need their mate to cheat on them or abuse them in some way to motivate them to finally leave a relationship they were unhappy in! (A final straw). Each of us has our own "boundaries" and "deal breakers".

      Kristine; Any woman who says: "Men are dogs" is a woman who is attracted to dogs! She's only talking about (her personal experience).

      Each of us (chooses) our friends, lovers, and spouse.

      If we realistically acknowledge "all men are not dogs" the onus is on you to learn to become a "better shopper" in order choose a man who is not a dog! Maybe it's time you re-examined your mate selection criteria.

      Anyone who has seen an episode of the TV shows "Cheaters", "Paternity Court" and "The Maury Povich Show" AKA "You are NOT the father!" is clearly aware that neither gender is standing on "holy ground" when it comes to cheating! Even lesbian couples report their mates cheating!

      Having said that there are various reasons why people cheat. Generally if a person is young they may have "over-committed" or "over promised" without knowing for sure they were ready to settle down.

      Cheating is a selfish cowardly act to attempt to have it all.

      Generally speaking most people in their teens and 20s lack the wisdom to think beyond "the now". Few people on their wedding day plan to cheat!

      Essentially most cheaters cheat in order to STAY in relationships or tolerate marriages that are lacking. People often say to them: "If you're so unhappy then why not leave?" As I noted earlier everyone has their own "deal breakers". If a man is "unromantic" and has gained weight but remains a loving father and reliable partner his wife might think it's not worth it to run down to the courthouse and file for divorce. And yet if a co-worker starts to shower her with attention and makes her feel "special" again she may be tempted to fill that romantic gap.

      The goal of most cheaters is to (hold onto) all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.

      Most cheaters are not looking to replace one relationship with another. The vast majority of cheaters also don't expect to be caught. In their minds cheating is far less expensive than divorce or the drama it brings.

      The 80/20 rule states {at best} you're going get 80% of what you want from a relationship. Cheaters refuse to do without the other 20%.

      I say if in your heart you believe your mate is cheating assume you're right!

      Now what?

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Seems to me that there is so much out there to catch a potential liar.


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