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How To Cope After Divorce & Come To Terms With Being A Single Parent

Updated on September 21, 2016

Today’s emphasis is on single parenting, how to balance yourself in becoming both a mother and father for your children. As my past has not been blissfully peachy, everyone has to go through their own trials and tribulations in order to teach us the most important part of our life’s lessons while providing us the will and strength to cross over to greener pastures. Right now you might say that it’s impossible but, I’m going to be honest with you, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Fleetwood Mac - Dreams - 1977

Due to the limited amount of funds, I lived in a Studio Apartment at the time because that was all I could afford after separating from the military in the midst of trying to obtain a job. There were days I wanted to just end my life to release myself from the torment and anguish. How was I going to pay for my rent? How was I going to afford to put food on the table? What about my bills? From that moment on, I took on responsibility for my own health and well-being, as well as, being committed to being both a mother and a father to my daughter entirely guided by God’s strength. I relied on him most of the time since I did not have family or friends to rely on; it was only my daughter and I making it through the hurdles. To this very day I still do not know how I made it through a whole year as a single parent but, it seemed as if I had gained twice as much strength after encountering my own spiritual awakening. Do not ever underestimate God's strength especially when you have no one to turn too. He is always there as a friend, father, companion, husband, confidant, and anchor. Believe me, miracles will start to happen if you only believe in yourself and in him.

Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston - When You Believe

Fear Of Being Alone

In the words of Franklin D. Roosevelt, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”.

Since then, my belief system has been altered and changed which has tremendously impacted my life in unbelievable ways. I believe in God, Angels, Spirit Guides, and the celestial energy surrounding the skies above to the amazing world of nature that surrounds us all. This belief has lead me to a conclusion that we are never alone on this planet; how could we be when there are millions of people alive living on this planet today? Are there not zillions of stars and unknown planets throughout the Universe? How can you tell yourself that you are the only one living on this planet?

In addition, as an Esoteric Universalist, I also read the bible along with different varieties of spiritual/self-help/new age books in order to expand my knowledge of my spiritual path, as well as, reciting my prayers daily, meditating in prayer, and writing down my daily affirmations in my gratitude journal every morning. I am open to all walks of life and spiritual paths, I do not believe we have to live our lives believing we have to follow only one certain path because we are told by others that this is the only route to heaven. I believe Jesus loves me for who I am, for being me, no matter what my beliefs are or my flaws. Not everyone will agree with me on this note, I know; however, every one of us has our own personal spiritual beliefs/paths and daily rituals; that’s what makes every single one of us a unique human being.

Fly Like A Bird - Mariah Carey

Along with prayers and meditations, I also make it a daily habit to keep myself & my mind pre-occupied by taking part in creative activities, making it to the gym every other day for a quick workout, volunteering for non-profit organizations, joining reading groups, attending plays or show performances, taking ball-room dance classes, taking my daughter to the movies/for ice-cream/or to the park, taking an art class, learn new crafts, visiting the local library, going to the bowling alley w/ another mommy friend, … etc. There are vast amounts of various activities to take part in only if you just seek them out. Even if you are telling yourself right now, “I don’t have the time right now to do all of that!”, no problem, if you follow a certain everyday ritual and you are comfortable with it, just remember to have joy in what you do throughout your day – make it a constant choice to enjoy your day.

"Life is beautiful. Life is short. Live every day as if it were your last. No regrets. Paint the sky your favorite color." - Author Unknown

If Everyone Cared - Nickelback

As for the excuse of babysitters, go out and make mommy friends; if you are a father, go out and make daddy friends & once you gain their trust, offer to babysit their kids & vise-versa. Go out there and create bonding friendships especially with someone who can relate to what you are going through. There’s no better feeling than knowing you are not alone in this.

In addition, make certain to keep organized with your everyday To Do List and daily finances. If it makes it easier for you, create a daily schedule and/or pin on sticky notes on a cork-board as your means of reminding yourself of the “Things To Do” for the day. This method also helps when you are keeping track of your finances and bills that have or have not been paid. Also, I recommend taking advantage of using a Pendaflex Expandable File Organizer; they really come in handy and are a perfect way to keep bills, receipts, & important paperwork organized, filed, and stored away.

In conclusion, as you can see from reading today’s article, no matter how difficult the circumstance may be, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel contempt knowing that I have close family and friends who have walked with me throughout my moment of depression and suffering. With that said, I will only make one request, please rally with one another and leave a comment below. If you had a similar experience, please share it with the rest of us because there might be someone out there who needs to hear that they are not alone in this unforeseeable and unavoidable circumstance.

"If you're willing to change your thinking, you can change your life."
- Louise Hay

“God has plans for our lives, Plans for hope and a future”

- Jeremiah 29:11

On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families

Heart Thoughts: A Treasury of Inner Wisdom

© 2014 Angie-Marie Delsante

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    • angiemarieledger9 profile image
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      Angie-Marie Delsante 2 years ago from Texas

      Thank You Mel for those very kind words, and yes, you are absolutely right; I couldn't agree with you more. When your world comes tumbling down, the only way to overcome it is through faith, love, hope, and inner strength.

    • Mel Carriere profile image

      Mel Carriere 3 years ago from San Diego California

      That is a beautiful and inspiring story that I have lived because I was a little boy looking up at Momma who was sitting there crying and trying to cope with raising two kids without the help of a father any more. I don't understand how and why some men can abandon their families, but they do, and it's strong females like you and my Mother that are the glue that keeps the world from falling apart. Great hub!

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      dave66 3 years ago

      Interesting and eye-opening.

    • angiemarieledger9 profile image
      Author

      Angie-Marie Delsante 3 years ago from Texas

      @shuck72 - Yes it is; thank you so much for taking the time to read my article. I enjoy feedback from my readers. It was hard for me to be opened about it, let alone write about it. I'm hoping this article will shed some light on the topic.

    • shuck72 profile image

      shuck72 3 years ago from Seattle

      Tough topic, thanks for writing about it!