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How To Deal With Jealousy In A Relationship

Updated on October 11, 2013

The first step in order to deal with jealousy is realizing that you are unhappy with your life. Often, jealousy stems because you want something that the person has. It may be a new car, a wife, or even something like appearance. Let’s say for example that a girl named Keisha is jealous of Carla because she is so much more prettier and outgoing than her. While she may not be able to change this, Keisha can still give herself a makeover.


In another example, Joe has a brand new cadillac while his friend, Brandon is stuck with his 1996 Chevy truck. He feels incredibly jealous since he doesn’t have good credit in order to get a new vehicle.


There are many reasons why you could be jealous of someone. Maybe you are jealous of another woman who is close to you. She happens to have four kids and constantly bothers you about having kids. You’ve been trying with your husband and sadly, you’ve had a miscarriage. You may feel jealous and angry because you don’t have kids of your own and you are constantly reminded of this each day.

I am unhappy with my life

If you are unhappy with your life, you need to find out the reason why. People aren’t just jealous for the heck of it. There is a reason behind jealousy. First find out what is bothering you in life and this way you can find a solution to your problem. Here are a few ways you can identify the problem:


  • Write down a list of things that bother you and see how often you encounter these things.


  • Analyze your current family life. Is everyone getting along in the family?


  • How is your health doing? If there are major health issues you are experiencing, even life threatening - this may be a reason why you are unhappy.


  • Are you happy with being single? Or do you have someone in your life that supports you emotionally and gives you strength?


  • If you currently have a great paying job that comes with a lot of stress, you may want to look into this or talk with someone about this. Cutting hours also works.


  • Do you have someone to talk to? If not, seeing a psychologist will definitely help.

Why am I jealous?

If you can’t pinpoint why you are jealous, you have a major problem. Sitting down and going through your life can help you figure out what is bothering you. Maybe your friend is bragging about going to college while you’re stuck at a dead end job just because you don’t have the money for college. These feelings are normal so there’s no need to worry. Here are a few reasons why jealousy enters relationships.


  • You wish you had the same outgoing personality as the person that you are jealous of but can’t bring yourself to be this way.


  • Holding a grudge against this person brought you to be jealous. Most people aren’t jealous of their friends although it happens from time to time.


  • There is something that you want like a brand new car or a house that your friend just bought.


  • Being nagged from the inside tells you that the person you are jealous of always gets more attention from other people then you do. You feel left out.


  • Another reason is because you can’t express yourself effectively. People who talk about their problems are less likely to be jealous.

The Jealousy Poll

Have you ever been jealous of someone?

See results

How to deal with jealousy in a relationship

Dealing with jealousy in a relationship is a delicate subject, especially if you have been friends with this person for a long time. You should never be hateful toward a friend or acquaintance just because you are jealous. Instead of being jealous, here is what you should do:


  • Take our tips that we discussed before on pinpointing why you are jealous. This is always a good start.


  • Smile and be happy for your friend - even if you need to fake it. Later, let them know you feel sad because you can’t have something they have. Being your friend, they’ll feel sorry for you and talk to you about it. Talking always makes a person feel better.


  • Join in your friend’s happiness. Suppose your high school friend get’s a huge party for their birthday while you are left with three family members and a tiny cake. Visit your friend and have the best time you can, pretending it was your birthday.


  • If you need some time away from your friend because you are too hurt or the jealousy has not tapered off, go ahead and take a vacation or just get out of town for awhile. Let them know that you’ll be gone before leaving though.

Controlling jealousy

One of the most difficult things that you will ever do is try to control your jealousy. Suppose your friend tells you that her husband always buys her the most wonderful anniversary gifts while your husband forgets your anniversary. You may feel a bit jealous but there are a few things you can do to come to a solution. Talk with him and let him know how you feel.


There are so many things to be jealous about in this world but if you remain positive, you’ll get better results in your life. Being bitter toward someone will not help at all.

How to deal with jealousy in a relationship

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