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How To End A Bad Relationship

Updated on April 30, 2013
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Let’s face it; breaking up is hard to do.

Oftentimes when you are ready to end an unhealthy relationship you probably should have left a long time ago.

How to Know When You Need To Leave a Bad Relationship

If the majority of the answers to the following questions are yes, then maybe you want to put an end your relationship. A relationship that is devoid of trust, unsupportive and based on power and manipulation is not good for anyone.

· Can you trust him or her?

· Do you love your partner

· Does he or she abuse you verbally or physically?

· Does your partner make you feel crummy about yourself?

· Does your partner criticize everything you do?

· Does your partner try to change things about your personality, character or physical appearance?

· Is your partner deceitful?

· Does your partner ridicule you?

· Does your partner try to limit your friendships outside of your relationship?

· Is your he or she a liar?

· Does your partner try to ruin your confidence?

· Has your partner every threatened you?

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Maybe your love relationship isn’t as pathetic as some of the questions asked above, but somehow your partner just doesn’t make you feel good anymore. That happens. You can be stuck in a dead end relationship, be sad and don’t even know why. From the outside your relationship it looks good. Maybe he or she is a likeable, treats you well and is good to you but for some reason you are still not satisfied.

Have you ever felt like this?

· Yucky when you think of spending time with your partner

· Sick whenever your partner does or says anything

Have you ever done this?

· Make an excuse not to spend time with your partner

· Pretend that you have a bad cell phone connection when your he or she calls

· Find other things to do so you won’t have to spend time with your partner

If you are doing any of the things above then you probably should seriously think about ending your relationship. Life is short, happiness is a birthright. If you are not happy then there is no reason to spend a moment in unhappiness.

Beware of the Cash Trap

Staying in a relationship because of money, kids and finances may be a deadly trap.
Staying in a relationship because of money, kids and finances may be a deadly trap. | Source

I know the stories of why many people stay. Some of the reasons include;

· The kids

· Finances

· Security

· What other people will think

· Unsure of the future

· Scared

· Don’t think will meet anyone better

· All relationships have problems

· Things will get better

Above are the lies that many of us tell ourselves. We lie to ourselves when we are afraid. We are afraid of the unknown. What we should fear is what we know. What we know right now is that things are bad and we are unhappy. How long will we live in a state of unhappiness? When will the sadness that we feel be enough to motivate us to leave?

When It's Time To Leave

Deep down in your heart of hearts you know when it's time to leave. You simply have to make a decision to do it. The best way to leave is to do the following;

  • Make a decision to go
  • Plan how to go
  • Get help to work the plan

The above may sound simple, but they are the hardest parts. As I stated earlier many times we know we should have left a long time ago but we don't leave. Those days turn into months, sometimes the months turn into years and we are still unhappy.

When you create a plan you have something to work toward. You'll immediately start to feel better about yourself.

If you are in a dangerous relationship contact the authorities, churches and non profit organizations that help people suffering from domestic abuse. Usually they can provide you with safe and fast alternative to leave a bad relationship.

If your relationship is not so bad take little steps toward the new reality that you want to live. Perhaps you need to move out from the home you share with your spouse or lover. If so, you need to find another home. Start looking for places to live, find out how much they cost and know how much you can afford on your own. If you need to save money for a down payment or moving costs, then start saving now. The longer you delay making a move the longer you'll be unhappy.

Next get people that love you involved in your plan. If you can't find someone that you can trust to help you or if you are afraid that they'll tell your spouse or lover then get professional help. A professional counselor is often a good sounding board during transitions. You may feel more at ease speaking to a stranger than you feel speaking to a loved one.


Put Your Pain in The Rear View Mirror

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Your Pain Is Your North Star

Endings can be hard and pain but sometimes the pain is what we need to take action. Listen to what your mind, heart, body and soul is tells you. If it doesn't feel good then it's not good for you. You deserve happiness. The best way to step into happiness is to step out of pain. Take action today and start to feel better now.

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    • Vacation Trip profile image

      Susan 4 years ago from India

      Great hub. Yes you are right that everybody deserves happiness. What a positive thought. Voted up.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      Anyone who is unhappy in a relationship and chooses to stay is by default (choosing) to be unhappy!

      The beautiful thing about a door is it lets those who want in (in) and those who want out (out). No one is "stuck" with anyone. We are where we (choose) to be. Not long ago I too wrote a hub on this topic as well. https://hubpages.com/relationships/ABreakupMethod...

    • livelifeworryfree profile image
      Author

      Princess Clark 4 years ago from The DMV

      Vacation Trip and Dashing Scorpio thank for both of your awesome shares. Happiness is indeed a choice. The point can not be emphasized enough. Dashingscorpio I love the door illustration... so true. Will visit your hub now. Thanks for stopping by and for the vote up.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      How to end bad relationship is hard soemtimes both partners don't see the others faults and find it easy to stay you have made good points on this hub

    • livelifeworryfree profile image
      Author

      Princess Clark 4 years ago from The DMV

      @DDE You are right. Ending things is hard even when you know you must go. Thanks for your share. I hope to see you around again. All the best!

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