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How To Fight With A Woman (At That Time Of The Month)

Updated on February 22, 2010

Relationships mean conflict. Good relationships minimize conflict and resolve it relatively quickly and without too many hurt feelings, but all relationships will involve conflict at some stage of their existence. The process of bringing a person into your life and making a life with them is one fraught with change and the need for compromise, two things most people welcome with as much enthusiasm a as a root canal. If you're in a relationship with a woman, it also means becoming privy to hormonal and mood fluctuations, that for some women, can be quite strong.

If you love someone, you're going to fight with them at some point. Men often have trouble knowing how to 'fight' with women because women do not argue the same way as men, nor do they approach conflict in the same fashion. Fights that start at 'that time of the month' will often mystify men as they seem to blow up out of nowhere. One moment she loves you, the next moment, she hates you. Is she mad? Mildly, perhaps.

Here's a few myths and truths about female moodswings due to PMS:

PMS Is Just An Excuse To Act Crazy

No. PMS is not an excuse to act crazy. Men, whose bodies don't go haywire for a week every month often accuse their female partners of just using PMS to act like a bitch. If you do this, you deserve every night on the couch you get. PMS isn't an excuse, it's a misery that some women suffer through heavily. Women don't want to act crazy, start fights, or push their partners away. The biological impetus that changes your wife or girlfriend's behavior drastically for a few days is a powerful one. That doesn't mean you should have to suffer abuse just because it is that time of the month, but it does mean that she will be on edge in a way she isn't usually.

Ignore Her, She Will Get Over It

Men, you cannot escape an argument with a woman by ignoring her. You can only escape an argument if she's ignoring you, and even then it is only deferred. Men who don't want to engage in conflict often shut down when their partners are angry, only to find that their refusal to engage in the 'discussion' enrages their lovely lady all the more. If you want to make a woman angry, ignore her. It's not right that she turns into a shrieking harpy if you ignore her, but it is predictable, in much the same way that hitting someone makes it much more likely that they'll be hitting you in the future.

Women are often upset because they perceive that their partners don't care about them in some way. These feelings are often exacerbated at 'that time of the month'. If you ignore her, you feed into the idea that you don't care. It may be madness, but that is the nature of the beast.

Most fights can be headed off by simply listening to the other person and reminding yourself that just because they have a different opinion they don't hate you, nor are they the devil incarnate. Oh, and if it is 'that time of the month', you'll be surprised how far a hug can go in placating a woman who has been temporarily driven out of her mind by hormones.

Having said that, dismissing her concerns because it is that time of the month is not a good idea. Odds are that the things you fight about at that time of the month are things that aggravate her all month long but which suddenly take on a greater significance when her body hijacks her mind.

Long Story Short

Step One: Don't get drawn into the drama.You're the one who still has a grip on his hormones and his mind. Act like it. Believe it or not, she needs you.

Step Two: Realize that her perception is likely warped at this time and that commiseration with her will go a long way to defusing any tension that springs up between the two of you at 'that time'.


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    • profile image

      John 7 years ago

      Hope, you have been a lifesaver on so many levels...!

    • profile image

      Tom 7 years ago

      Ah yes , I only wish I had learned all of this when I was about 14 years old , my life would have been a lot smoother , in my current relationship we have a pretty good understanding of each other and what each of us needs and wants and yes even at that time of the month.

      Hopefully this will help some of the guys that haven't figured that out yet.

      Thanks Hope

    • My SciFi Life profile image

      My SciFi Life 7 years ago from London, UK

      wow ... thanks for this ... puts things into a bit of a different perspective to be honest ... + I'm glad to know ... its not just me! :)