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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
How to Find a Great Boyfriend
So many boyfriends, so little time. Well, some girls are boyfriend magnets at least. The rest of us aren't so lucky. What is it about those girls who always seem to have a boyfriend? I couldn't have done that if I tried. Don't worry single girls seeking boyfriends, you're not alone.
Like a fine wine, boyfriends are best in quality not quantity. You don't want to date just ANYBODY that serves solely as a warm body next to you. You're better than that! You have standards. You want to find a good boyfriend. Not every guy is boyfriend material, so don't feel bad about letting a guy go if you don't see that potential in him.
Here are 7 tips on how you too can find a great boyfriend:
1) Be open.
When searching for a guy to date and potentially be your boyfriend, keep yourself open. When talking to a guy, keep your body language "open."
- Keep arms to your sides or moving during conversation, not crossed
- Make good eye contact and smile
- Expose your palms, or at the very least: don't clench your fists
- Cross legs only if you're wearing a skirt/dress. Otherwise, keep them parallel if they can be seen.
- Try to keep your head and eyes focused mainly on him. Looking away too much shows disinterest.
- Relax your face
2) Learn the look across the room.
If you want a guy to approach you from across the room and he's not coming over, try looking at him until he sees you…as soon as you make eye contact, give a quick smile (couple seconds) and look away. Focus back on your friends and having fun. Repeat once or twice more at most. Apparently this is the oldest trick in the book!
3) Develop confidence.
Confidence makes you sexy, more than any physical characteristic. If you don't feel confident about yourself and what you have to offer, fake it. You know the phrase "Fake it till you make it?" Works wonders with confidence. Act like you don't need a man, that you're having plenty of fun already, and the boys will notice. And by pretending to be confident, you'll attract situations which will increase your confidence.
4) Be your best self.
If a guy's going to be your boyfriend down the line, you need to be yourself around him. Keep the lying to a minimum- but be your "best" self. Not the self that eats an entire carton of ice cream when you're sad, or the self that burps when no one's around…but your best put-together self. Trust me, trying to change your personality at first or straight up lying about your job or living situation doesn't work with guys in the long run. When this guy becomes your boyfriend, he's going to find out the truth. And then he'll think you should be institutionalized. Be yourself. You have a lot to offer.
Check out my 10 Types of Women to Avoid When Dating hub to see the disaster of what could happen if you try to be someone else.
Every woman needs a copy of this book!
5) Let him chase you.
The majority of decent guys have a "desperation" warning alarm that sounds immediately if you give off the impression that you REALLY want a boyfriend. So cardinal rule: Don't be too available. Do not cancel plans you've already made to go out with a guy. Stick to your girls nights, and let him know that you're going out with the girls. A good boyfriend wants to see that you have friends and won't turn into a Stage 5 Cling-On as soon as he asks you to be his girlfriend.
Leave him wanting more every time you see him. Guys like to be able to chase you. If you're always available, he might get bored. A good boyfriend will also leave you wanting more, so every time you see each other it's new and exciting. You won't get bored with a guy like this.
6) Reveal just enough on the first couple dates.
Don't spill your guts on the first date. Give him little tidbits of who you are…guys like a little mystery. Don't give him your whole life story in the first couple weeks. Make sure he sees your smile, your confidence and how much you like yourself on the first couple dates more than your past experiences. Talking about your childhood fears and what you like for breakfast comes later. Keep the conversation light, not delving too deeply into anything, so that he'll want to get to know you better as you keep dating.
7) Let him do the work at first.
One of the first signs of a good boyfriend is when he steps up to the plate. Your job at that point is to let him be the guy. If he comes to your doorstep with a plan already hatched for what you'll do that night, great sign! Let him make the plans, and show him that you like that. Encouraging a guy to be the guy in a relationship will make your life a whole lot easier (and it'll make him a good boyfriend). If you try to take charge when you first start dating, it's either going to turn him off (if he's a very masculine guy) or it's going to intimidate him into bringing out his more feminine traits.
If you're really having trouble finding a good boyfriend…
Rely on your friends or acquaintances to hook you up with a guy! Guys who someone can vouch for might turn into better boyfriends than some random guy you pick up at a bar. At least you know somebody thinks he's a decent guy...