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How to Find a Great Boyfriend

Updated on October 23, 2009

So many boyfriends, so little time. Well, some girls are boyfriend magnets at least. The rest of us aren't so lucky. What is it about those girls who always seem to have a boyfriend? I couldn't have done that if I tried. Don't worry single girls seeking boyfriends, you're not alone.

Like a fine wine, boyfriends are best in quality not quantity. You don't want to date just ANYBODY that serves solely as a warm body next to you. You're better than that! You have standards. You want to find a good boyfriend. Not every guy is boyfriend material, so don't feel bad about letting a guy go if you don't see that potential in him.

Here are 7 tips on how you too can find a great boyfriend:

1) Be open.
When searching for a guy to date and potentially be your boyfriend, keep yourself open. When talking to a guy, keep your body language "open."


- Keep arms to your sides or moving during conversation, not crossed
- Make good eye contact and smile
- Expose your palms, or at the very least: don't clench your fists
- Cross legs only if you're wearing a skirt/dress. Otherwise, keep them parallel if they can be seen.
- Try to keep your head and eyes focused mainly on him. Looking away too much shows disinterest.
- Relax your face

2) Learn the look across the room.
If you want a guy to approach you from across the room and he's not coming over, try looking at him until he sees you…as soon as you make eye contact, give a quick smile (couple seconds) and look away. Focus back on your friends and having fun. Repeat once or twice more at most. Apparently this is the oldest trick in the book!

3) Develop confidence.
Confidence makes you sexy, more than any physical characteristic. If you don't feel confident about yourself and what you have to offer, fake it. You know the phrase "Fake it till you make it?" Works wonders with confidence. Act like you don't need a man, that you're having plenty of fun already, and the boys will notice. And by pretending to be confident, you'll attract situations which will increase your confidence.

4) Be your best self.
If a guy's going to be your boyfriend down the line, you need to be yourself around him. Keep the lying to a minimum- but be your "best" self. Not the self that eats an entire carton of ice cream when you're sad, or the self that burps when no one's around…but your best put-together self. Trust me, trying to change your personality at first or straight up lying about your job or living situation doesn't work with guys in the long run. When this guy becomes your boyfriend, he's going to find out the truth. And then he'll think you should be institutionalized. Be yourself. You have a lot to offer.

Check out my 10 Types of Women to Avoid When Dating hub to see the disaster of what could happen if you try to be someone else.

5) Let him chase you.
The majority of decent guys have a "desperation" warning alarm that sounds immediately if you give off the impression that you REALLY want a boyfriend. So cardinal rule: Don't be too available. Do not cancel plans you've already made to go out with a guy. Stick to your girls nights, and let him know that you're going out with the girls. A good boyfriend wants to see that you have friends and won't turn into a Stage 5 Cling-On as soon as he asks you to be his girlfriend.

Leave him wanting more every time you see him. Guys like to be able to chase you. If you're always available, he might get bored.  A good boyfriend will also leave you wanting more, so every time you see each other it's new and exciting. You won't get bored with a guy like this.

6) Reveal just enough on the first couple dates.
 Don't spill your guts on the first date. Give him little tidbits of who you are…guys like a little mystery. Don't give him your whole life story in the first couple weeks. Make sure he sees your smile, your confidence and how much you like yourself on the first couple dates more than your past experiences. Talking about your childhood fears and what you like for breakfast comes later. Keep the conversation light, not delving too deeply into anything, so that he'll want to get to know you better as you keep dating.

7) Let him do the work at first.

One of the first signs of a good boyfriend is when he steps up to the plate. Your job at that point is to let him be the guy. If he comes to your doorstep with a plan already hatched for what you'll do that night, great sign! Let him make the plans, and show him that you like that. Encouraging a guy to be the guy in a relationship will make your life a whole lot easier (and it'll make him a good boyfriend). If you try to take charge when you first start dating, it's either going to turn him off (if he's a very masculine guy) or it's going to intimidate him into bringing out his more feminine traits.

If you're really having trouble finding a good boyfriend…

Rely on your friends or acquaintances to hook you up with a guy! Guys who someone can vouch for might turn into better boyfriends than some random guy you pick up at a bar. At least you know somebody thinks he's a decent guy...


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    • profile image

      JALYN 2 years ago

      Wow I'm sneaking a boy friend what should I do should I break up with him or tell my family.

    • profile image

      mila rose 3 years ago

      Always gift your boyfreind or girlfreind a time too each other::::D

    • Relationshipc profile image

      Kari 3 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      I think developing confidence was the main thing that helped me find a great boyfriend. I eventually said, "I deserve more than a jerk!" and I wasn't willing to accept anything less because I had the confidence I could find someone worthy...and I did. Confidence allows you to stay true to yourself, which is the best way to find the perfect match.

    • profile image

      Liz 5 years ago

      Im broken hearted over my ex and we broke up 2 months ago. I can stop thinking about him but i don't like him. I cant forget but i want to

    • profile image

      Cindy 5 years ago

      I am 43 and have a very complicated life style. I live with my third x because my fourth x told me either to buy the house or get out-I was a stay home mom and couldn't afford it. None of my marriages lasted over two years. It has been hell for the last 6 years living here with my x. I have met some nice guys a dentist, a self employed construction owner, a doctor--none of them lasted more then a month. Somehow I always feel I should treat or buy or take turns. I don't like my job because it doesn't pay enough. I was just seeing this guy who I met through work as a customer- We dated for about 3 months (he doesn't have a lot of money but is a truck driver). He has a x fiancé that he has known for 9 years. I know she comes over and they still help each other out time to time and go places together. If you ask me I feel like the rebound chic-so I ended it. I want to be happy and meet my Prince. I am not bad looking for my age, kinda cute. I have tried a lot of dating sites and don't care for the bar scenes. Why can't I meet a guy like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. Please help me I feel like all hope is lost and I don't know were to find my Prince and I have kissed way to many toads.

    • M. Rose profile image

      M. Rose 5 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Karoline, sounds like you should move on. You're probably better off without him. Move on and find someone better!

    • profile image

      pragya 5 years ago

      i think this will workout

    • profile image

      Karoline 5 years ago

      My bf chaset for more than7 years, we are now 1 year together, but in that 1 year he broke up with without a reason and came back after 1 month, i took him back but a month go i wanted to break up, because we keep fighting and calling names each other. He said its oke and then messaged me 1 day later like we are still bf and gf. I also broke up because he hurt me with his words, wanting getting intimate while i was not ready for it and why he dumped me without no reason and texting me after more then a month he is sorry for what he has done. First im older then him 1 year, he is very jealous, but also very loving person, good heart, but i don't like his yelling. I miss him very much, i don't talk to him last 2 days but don't know what i should do :( let him go?? He messaged me but i didn't answer.

    • M. Rose profile image

      M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA

      M. Laurelle: Thank you! That quote is awesome. I love everything you wrote, thank you for taking the time to comment.

      mandy: So sorry to hear about your situation :( I hope you find a better man next time. You deserve much better than how that guy treated you.

    • profile image

      mandy 6 years ago

      My story is classic. Met a nice man soon after my divorce. He soon moved in and for 20 years was my mate. Never wanted to marry, the relationship was mutually respectful, until he did some handy man work for a widow young neighbor with children. Well I'm sure you can guess the rest, I'm dumped, he moves in with her. I settled for very little and that's exactly what I got. Won't be doing that again.

    • profile image

      M. Laurelle 6 years ago

      Wow, these tips are wonderful. I appreciate your contribution to dating technique information on the web. My favorite tip would be to have confidence. More than anything, I find confidence an important trait for those I date and consider having serious relationships with. Also, I found people who care enough to plan ahead for the date usually pay attention to the details around all aspects of life. A quote that always helps me: "How you do anything is how you do everything." Thanks again for your blog post and I will remember these tips for future crush advances.

    • profile image

      sanjana 6 years ago

      but at times people think am a flirt! Which i don't like!

    • M. Rose profile image

      M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA

      eljurecat- Sounds like a bunch of game-playing BS. Stick to your guns and don't let him try to manipulate you into seeing him again. From what you've said he's done lately, it looks like you made the right decision to stop seeing him. You'll find someone better! Thanks for commenting.

    • profile image

      eljurecat 6 years ago

      I wasn't cheated on by my ex thankfully but he was afraid of commitment. He is begging to see me and wants to show me a new car he just bought but i refuse to see him until he proposes and agrees on serious relationship. He must be hurt because he mentions a girl he met and that she would make hid perfect wife and how great his kids would look. I'm hurting very badly but i won't show it and trying to move forward and meet other men.

    • profile image

      deshia  6 years ago

      im only 13 but i love these tips.they really help me understand,i think i 've actually done some of this stuff with a few hot dudes

    • M. Rose profile image

      M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Thanks Becky! Feel free to link my hub to your hub...I'm honored at the request :)

    • Becky532 profile image

      Becky532 6 years ago

      Thanks for this hub. Confidence is so important! I also like letting the guy work for it, makes the guy feel manly and lets the girl know she is worthy :)

      I would like to link your hub to my hub, Stop Dating Mr. Wrong: How To Get The Man You Want. Let me know if that's okay, thanks!

    • M. Rose profile image

      M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Rach, it sounds like you're still hurt over being cheated on. That's understandable! Being cheated on will make anyone question the intentions of future men. Just remember that they're not all bad...hopefully you'll find a guy who will treat you right. Thanks for commenting!

    • profile image

      Rach 6 years ago

      I don't know if I'll ever let a bloke come nr me again...

      I want a bf a good 1 please help.. If a bloke comes nr me

      I push them away there's a bloke after me, I've made him do all the work

      I've known him for ages but I made plans last week with him and told him I was I'll!

      My exe cheated on me and I've been single over a yr!

      If I go out clubbing I get a lot of attension from men but I rather not have it..! Even if I fancy them.. I get a lot of attension most of the time but ever since my exe cheated I don't want it! But I want a bf and i don't know what to do?...I'm spose to see that bloke tomoro?.. But I'm thinkin of ways to get out of it already?

    • profile image

      liah jones 7 years ago

      i have not got one but i want a boyfrend to have for vere vere loge time i will love him and do everthing he went me to do plesae gife me a boyfrend xxxx

    • M. Rose profile image

      M. Rose 7 years ago from Orange County, CA

      HAHA Oh Neil, you slay me.

    • Neil Sperling profile image

      Neil Sperling 7 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      you could just call me ... LOL

      Good Hub!

    • profile image

      jodie :) 7 years ago

      goooooooooood tipss

      theyy workk aswell :')

      thankk youu :)

    • M. Rose profile image

      M. Rose 7 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Thanks for your comments, Kea! Good to know that I'm on the right track with these hubs :)

    • kea profile image

      kea 7 years ago

      PS> One of the first hubs I wrote was on a topic very similar to this...I address some of the same points:

      Keep up the excellent hubs!

    • kea profile image

      kea 7 years ago

      Great tips, especially "Let him Chase You". In my dating experience this works with guys and girls. If you're always available, you obviously have nothing interesting (hobbies, friends, etc.) going on in your life and I take that as a sign of boring!

    • M. Rose profile image

      M. Rose 8 years ago from Orange County, CA

      I completely agree, ManD! Thanks for your great comment.

    • profile image

      MandD 8 years ago

      These are good tips! I think the most important thing to remember is not to give off the "I need a BF right now vibe". Guys can always sense this desperation from a girl. Better to let him chanse. Guys are programmed to chase. They like it. They don't want something that falls into their lap. A challenge is best. It's like winning an award you worked so hard for or making a lot of money after a lot of work! It just feels better this way.