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How To Forgive Others

Updated on October 31, 2016

How Do I Forgive?

The word "forgive" can be so powerful and healing. To #forgive based on Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary means , "to cease to feel resentment against (an offender): to grant forgiveness: pardon (one's enemies): to give up resentment of or claim to requital for: willing or able to forgive." As an imperfect person, forgiving another person who has hurt you is not easy. After putting so much time and effort into the relationship and then the person turns against you for no reason, can make forgiveness difficult. So what can we do to get pass this feeling of imperfection that may hinder #forgiveness.

When we look at ourselves carefully and in an honest light; #forgiveness is not as difficult as we may think. Due to our imperfections, we constantly have so many faults. These faults can accumulate before the true God. Yet we go to Jehovah God in prayer and he is ready to forgive us for all our shortcomings. All we have to do is forgive each other of the sins others have committed against us. What a beautiful lesson. Jesus taught this lesson while on earth that we should, "Forgive our #DEBTS, as 'we have forgiven our DEBTORS," as stated at Matthew 6:12 based on #The Emphatic Diaglott . If we want forgiveness to be granted to us we must forgive others of their sins against us.

The forgiveness we receive from God is conditional. How can we pray for forgiveness if we have not forgiven our offender. It is vital that we forgive others before we can receive forgivenmess. Feminenza North America , A Monthly Teleconference mentions how, "forgiveness can cause a great allowance of new, it can be a release from the bonds of the past, we can say forgive ourselves or forgive others. This is a forum in which to explore the quality of forgiveness, individually and collectively within the theartre of our daily lives." Seven pillars are then explained such as, "Understanding, Freedom, Remedy, Warmth, Enhancement, Hope and Continuance." Dates are given for each session and there is no charge for the classes.

How Do I Forgive and #Apologize

Once we forgive others, it is easier to apologize. "Apologies are powerful. They resolve conflicts without violence, repair schisms between nations, allow governments to acknowledge the suffering of their citizens, and restore equilibrium to personal relationships," explained Deborah Tannen, a best-selling author and sociolinguist at #Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. An article in The Watchtower 2002, November 1, page 5 stated, "The Bible confirms that a sincere apology is often an effective way to repair a damaged relationship."

We can all appreciate the point made by Katherine Piderman, PhD., who stated, "Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your parenting skills or your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, forgiveness, you may be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy."

When we forgive others, we do not deny that the person hurt you nor do you minimize the hurt you have experienced. The person or offender can be forgiven without you excusing or agreeing to the act they performed against you. The forgiveness you give them is to allow freedom to enter into your life. You have to go on. Awaiting their call to say, they are sorry may never arrive. That is why it is important for you to move on. Forgiveness gives you a peace to move on with your life. This is desperately needed because you know that it is time because this feeling of #resentment truly hinders your growth. Now it is just time to move on. What a blessing forgiveness can be.

Will we be able to easily forgive and forget? No. It may take us weeks, months or years. We are imperfect and we may play what the offender did to us over and over in our minds. That is why forgiveness becomes such a personal decision. Not based on what a religious instructor, teacher or just someone who loves you advises. Once you do the research and prayerfully consider the situation, you can then make a decision.

In the end we must let go whatever is hindering us from obtaining #peace. When we hold on to grudges it becomes damaging to us. Why not let go of these resentments so that we can move on to that peace and happiness that forgiving each other will grant us. When we forgive, there is a certain amount of control we allow ourselves. We can then take that control and receive the freedom of peace and contentment that only Jehovah God can give us based on what Jesus taught us which is to forgive others. What a simple and uncomplicated lesson. Let us all see if we can follow this simple but beautiful lesson of forgiving each other.

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A motivational video entitled, "The Power of Forgiveness." by Royston from YouTube.


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    • Angelladywriter profile image

      Claudette Coleman Carter 5 years ago from Media, Pennsylvania

      Hi Nina64,

      I truly loved your comment because I have felt the same way. It was also someone close to me that caused the hurt and pain. The hatred of this individual consumed so much of my time and energy. Finally, after a lot of prayer and pleadings for Jehovah God to help me to forgive this person, it happened. This was definitely not an overnight process. Once I understood that I was hurting myself, it was easier for me to listen and see the answers to my prayers. I could then apply forgiveness which totally set me free to forgive. I thank God daily that I no longer have this problem. I try to always remember that I am imperfect and need forgiveness from my Heavenly Father daily. Therefore, I must forgive others if I expect forgiveness. Thanks again for your beautiful comment.

    • nina64 profile image

      nina64 5 years ago from chicago, Illinois

      I must say, this hub is near and dear to my heart!!!! To forgive someone who has hurt you to the core takes a lot of courage and prayer. I have been in some situations where those who were close to me have hurt me so deeply, sometimes, the hurt seemed so bad to where I actually thought about suicide. In each scenario, it took everything I had within me to forgive the other person just so that I could move on in my life. To harbor unforgiveness in your heart is like a cancer that slowly eats away at your spirit. The longer you hold on to the hurt and pain, you're wasting so much energy. You are so right when you said that how can we ask God for forgiveness when we cannot forgive the person who has wronged us. Everyday, I have to ask myself if I want God's forgiveness, then I must learn to forgive others. Only then will I be set free to move ahead in life. Excellent hub!!

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      angelladywriter 5 years ago

      Hi Patty,

      I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with such unforgiving people. When you are experiencing such resentment from others, for as long as you have, it can be difficult. It was courageous of you to admit that you have said things that may have hurt them as well. This action of saying hurtful things, must cease. You can get help by praying to Jehovah God, specifically to help you stop saying these things. Pour your heart out to him, for those who have been mistreating you and your husband. Ask God to touch their hearts as well. After you have prayed for yourself and your enemies, ask these things in Jesus name. You will receive the direction from God, as to how you should handle everything from that point on.

      Once you have genuinely accomplished this by going to God in prayer, you must move on in order to gain peace and freedom in your life. By doing things this way, you put not only yourself in God's hands but also those who are not demonstrating forgiveness. Remember such scriptures as Proverbs 3:5,6 which tells us we should trust God with all our heart and not lean upon our own understanding because he can make our paths straight. Allow Jehovah to straighten your life and the life of those hating you. Patty, I will keep you in my prayers.

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      patty duncan 5 years ago

      i have been in a terrible situation with old friends who continue to blame me for upsetting them by things i say....i know of a few times that i hurt their feelings but this has been going on for 20 years where i think things are ok and than they are not speaking to me or inviting my husband or me to large group gatherings..the last thing said to me by the husband is that everyone hates me and i haven't a clue what once again what he is talking about