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How To Get A Boyfriend-Find A Date

Updated on February 26, 2012

There are many places to look that you may not have thought of. Online dating sites are great but not everyone is into social network sites and at some point you will need to leave your home to look.

Singles bars are not the best place unless you are just looking for a one-night stand. You can pick up all kinds of unsavory fellows there who have alcohol or STD issues. I don’t mean to imply all men in clubs have diseases or dependency problems but your chances of finding one are much higher in those establishments.

Do not take a friend when looking for potential dates. Women that travel in packs intimidate some men and you don’t need someone competing for the same guys or making comments and blowing the moment. Go alone or at least make sure to move away from your friends when approaching a guy.

First you must ask yourself, “What kind of man are you attracted to”? Men are not all the same and have different interests. Depending on what type guy you are attracted to, you will need to look in places he is most apt to be. Most men have hobbies and you will have a good chance of meeting a guy if you go where men typically hang out.

Don’t get too close. Personal space comfort zone is about two feet for strangers or approximately two floor tiles. If it’s noisy you may have to lean in to hear or be heard but make sure they are interested before moving too close.

Remember the two-comment rule. If after two questions or comments he doesn’t seem interested move on, he’s either, unavailable, not interested in you or gay.

Smile and make eye contact.

It’s best to approach a guy who is alone. If he’s with friends they sometimes have a way of teasing each other that can ruin an opportunity.

When making conversation, don’t complain about anything, this will make you come across as a woman who is hard to please or who only finds negative in everything. Try to be upbeat and make positive remarks; you want to make a good first impression.

Be subtle, you don’t want to appear to be a call girl. You just happened to be in the same area as him and are making small talk.

Car Guys-

These men are typically going to be at car shows and automotive shops. They love to talk about cars so all you have to do is ask him a question to get him started unless he is introvert. At a car show if you see someone you might be interested in looking at a car meander over and ask something or make a comment like, “This is a really nice car, don’t you think?” Even shy guys will usually say something they just might not make eye contact. Try another question or comment. If he still doesn’t say anything, move on.


These men are anyplace you will find horses and cattle. If you are into this lifestyle you surely know a bit about ranch life and the proper wording that goes along with it. If not you need to do a bit of homework and hang out at horse shows, rodeos and cattle auctions. If you don’t know something don’t fake it. It’s better to be honest then to pretend knowledge. He’ll soon find out if you don’t know what you are talking about. For some of these men it’s just a hobby, for others it’s a way of life and career.


It will help if you have a membership to a golf course or country club and own your own clubs. In this case it is okay to be with friends but find time to approach guys by yourself when your pals aren’t around. Having drinks or lunch afterwards is a good time. Sometimes while waiting your turn you might be close enough to talk to someone.


I’m grouping fishing, hunting and hiking all together here. Try Bass Pro shop or similar stores, fairgrounds having shows for outdoor sports or stores that sell clothing and hiking boots. If you see a guy looking at fishing equipment, just happen to be looking at something near him and ask a question or make a comment. “Where is a good place to fish?” These guys can go on and on about a big fish story so be prepared.


This one is a bit trickier. Of course you can find guys at arenas with games but while they are watching it may be tough to get their attention so you’ll have to wait until a break or afterwards. Sometimes you can meet these guys at sports grills or bars, but they are still a bit too noisy.


Sometimes these are a bit loud but you can still work in a conversation. I’ve met and talked to a lot of interesting people at concerts so you can meet friends as well as a possible significant other. The nice thing is you know you have at least one thing in common---music.

Anime or Video Game Enthusiasts-

These guys are going to be at conferences, hobby stores or electronics sections of stores. If you are also into this sort of thing you probably already know where these guys typically hang out. Wearing t-shirts with their favorite character will be a clue.

Book Worms-

Bookstores and libraries are a good place to find these guys although if he looks like he is reading and really into his book it’s best not to disturb him.

Unmanly Hobbies-

I have seen some really manly men at quilt shows, embroidery shops and yarn stores. They were not gay they just found enjoyment in these past times. Sometimes you’ll run into a guy who likes female type activities but they are rare.

If you aren’t into any of the above male dominant extra curricular activities pick one you could most stand to deal with. I married a man who is nuts about football, I couldn’t care less about the sport but he is a good husband and father so don’t disqualify a fellow just because you don’t share his passions. Men don’t usually like the same things as women, they are opposite of us for many reasons.

Field of Work-

Different careers sometimes have conferences or travel for training. Hotels are sometimes a place to meet men although, be careful or you may give him the wrong idea. Some women hang out in hotels for one-night stands so you don’t want to give him that impression. If you are traveling and happen to be in a place where a conference is going on take the opportunity to meet someone. All sorts of people travel for work and not just salesmen.

The only problem with this is that long distance relationships aren’t easy so you have to consider whether or not you are willing to relocate to his state. You may luck out and meet a man who lives in your area or not too far.


Bring home-baked cookies or brownies to a fire department and they’ll be eating out of your hand. Tell them you appreciate all the hard work they do and wanted to bring by a little something. If you don’t cook, store bought will still work but homemade is more appreciated.


Hardware stores are full of men. They also have housewares too so in between looking for a fellow you can take a look at more familiar items. If you see a potential date, ask him a question about whatever aisle he is on. Most men like to help, especially pretty women.

Hospital Staff-

Volunteer time at a hospital and you’ll have an opportunity to meet lots of people, employees as well as those coming to visit friends and family. Just make sure you don’t get in anyone’s way. A hospital is a busy place.

Volunteer Work-

This can be for the United Way or other organization that needs help. Often places of employment will volunteer and this is a good time to meet some people you might not meet otherwise.

Temples, Churches and Mosques-

If you are religious you can find men at any place people go to worship their chosen god or gods. Many of these have singles groups helping you find someone suitable.

Blind Dates-

These are either set up by friends or even family. They have gotten a bad rap over the years but sometimes they work out. If you’ve seen a guy who is a friend of a friend mention to them you’d like to meet him. Some lasting unions have been formed by way of others setting up dates, parties or get-togethers of mutual acquaintances.

Besides hobbies men have to eat, wear clothes and buy household items just like women so out shopping is sometimes a good time to meet guys. If they seem in a big hurry don’t bother them.

Department Stores-

Go to the men’s department and browse around. If you see a guy you are interested in pretend you are looking for a shirt for your brother or dad. If he’s looking at a shirt you like say, “That’s a cool shirt.” Maybe mention why you like to shop there. Don’t be overly chatty and he may talk to you.

Grocery Store-

Make a comment about the produce or whatever area you are standing in. Ask a question, “Do you know where the tomato paste is?” Even if you really know, you are trying to make conversation. Thank him and then bring up a comment about the store, weather or whatever.

Remember the two-try rule. If after two comments or questions he doesn’t seem interested move on. He’s either taken, not into you or gay. Anything past two sentences without a response and you are being annoying.

Be helpful-

If you see a cute guy who looks like he is having trouble finding something ask, “Do you need help?” If he asks if you work there tell him, “No, but I shop here a lot and know where just about anything is.” This may seem silly but it’s a good way to meet a man. Even if you don’t know where it is it can be a fun scavenger hunt to find the item.

Don’t talk too much-

Once you’ve gotten him talking don’t interrupt and let him talk. Some are more talkative than others. If you see he isn’t moving the conversation along ask another question or make a comment that requires a response. Talk about the weather or current events. Try to avoid controversial topics like politics or religion unless it’s very important to your decision in dating him.

Don’t appear too needy-

If he is in a hurry or trying to leave don’t keep talking trying to hold his attention. You’ve made the first move if he doesn’t ask for your number and he is ready to go, move on.

Look Your Best-

Even if you are only running to the grocery store for one item make sure you look good. Don’t go in pajama bottoms and a ratty t-shirt. You never know when you might run into the future Mr. Right and you wouldn’t want to blow it. You only get one first impression.

Rethink Your Standards-

We are raised to have a certain idea of what a man should look like, his height and what field of work he will be in. Prince Charming doesn’t always look like Barbie’s Ken.

Statistics show more women are going to college these days than men. If you don’t expect a guy to make more money, you widen your options.

Men don’t have to be taller than you. There’s a lot of good looking, great guys out there that are average to shorter in stature. Give some of these fellows a chance and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Step outside your comfort zone. The world isn’t just black and white; there are many nationalities of men in between just waiting for a woman to smile at them.


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    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      That's true, Dashing. Men and women have different interests so we can't expect them to like everything we enjoy and have to look outside areas we normally go.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      7 years ago

      Great advice!

      "Do not take a friend when looking for potential dates." This is even true for men!:-)

      One of the best things a person can do is create a "profile" of their ideal mate. List as many details that come to mind (places he/she most likely would shop, dine, relax, events they'd attend, music artist concerts, hobbies, charities...etc) The next step is BE THERE! Of course if you stick to doing only things you enjoy doing your odds of meeting someone that you "naturally" have something in common with increases! Also keep in mind it's not "where" you meet but "who" you meet that counts.

      Each of us has to decide if we need to change in order to get what we want out of life.

      "When we change, our circumstances change."

      One man's opinion! :-)

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Thanks for reading, Sun-Girl.

    • Sun-Girl profile image


      7 years ago from Nigeria

      Very informative hub you actually shared in here Pamela,am so pleased with the tips you listed in here and really enjoyed reading your article.Thanks for sharing dear.

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Thanks for reading, LillyGrillzit.

    • LillyGrillzit profile image

      Lori J Latimer 

      7 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas

      This is a well written Hub, chock full of good ideas. Thank you. :0)

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Thanks, PhoenixV.

    • PhoenixV profile image


      7 years ago from USA

      Voted Up:)

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Zanin, it can be work to find a significant other. I'm glad I'm married too.

    • zanin profile image


      7 years ago from London, England

      Wow, I'm glad I'm married. It sounds like hard work. Joking aside, love the hub. As Anglnwu said,'no need to stay at home.'

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Anginwu, there are lots of single men out there women just have to look in the right places.

    • anglnwu profile image


      7 years ago

      With so many suggestions, there's no reason to stay home and brood. Good tips!

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Thanks, marellen. Sometimes people need a little help.

      Sangre, thanks for reading.

    • sangre profile image

      Sp Greaney 

      7 years ago from Ireland

      Great tips all us single ladies need....

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Very informative time I'm in the market for a boyfriend I will remember your hints. Voted Up and useful...


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