- Gender and Relationships
Gossiping - How To Gossip Without Getting Caught
You Should Be More Subtle than These Ladies
The Danger of the Dicey Conversation
Have you found yourself deep in a dicey conversation with a friend about someone else, when all of a sudden the someone else appears, perhaps from around a corner? If you have, you know what happens next...your face goes red, your tongue stops wagging, your jaw drops, and dumb words like "Oh, hi." fall out of your mouth.
You've been gossiping and you know it's not a nice thing to do. Your body language now speaks more volumes than your gossip ever could. You just got caught! After the awkward "Oh, hi," deep silence follows.
But it doesn't have to be that way. You can save face if you know how to gossip the right way. You don't have to give off that tell-tale blush, finding yourself speechless in the process. You can enjoy the dicey conversation, the gossip, with confidence, if you know how to gossip without getting caught in the act.
You just need to follow Aunt Katie's advice.
Aunt Katie To the Rescue
My Aunt Katie has a sure-fire method for saving your face. You can use her method at the watercooler, in the hallway, on the street, and just about anywhere else, just about any time.
Preparedness Is the Key
Take four easy steps to prepare yourself for a successful save:
- Tell your gossip partner about Aunt Katie's method before you start your session.
- Keep your voices at low-normal volume during the gossip session and face each other, so your dicey words don't travel.
- Keep objects away from your mouth, so you don't look like you are gossiping.
- Keep an eye out for the subject of your gossip by tuning your peripheral vision to a high pitch.
Hone Your Gossiping Skills
Act Quickly with Aunt Katie's Save
At the moment you sense the unexpected presence of your subject, turn up the volume on your voice, and say clearly to your partner while expressing profound amazement:
Oh, really? Butter? I fry mine in lard!
Aunt Katie's Guarantee
Aunt Katie guarantees this method will save your skin every time, but only if you:
- Never use it anywhere near running water.
- Share it only with your most valued gossip partner.
Aunt Katie's method was thoroughly tested in her tiny hometown over the course of three generations. It can't be used there any more.