ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How To Keep Dating Your Wife

Updated on January 23, 2010

When you were first falling in love, you did certain things. You made certain efforts. You were getting to know her, asking her questions, listening to her stories. Asking her thoughts and opinions on different things. Telling her your tales. You shared your day, you shared your dreams. You left little notes, you sent cards or flowers. You bought gifts. You made sure your car or your apartment were clean when she was coming over. You spent a little time grooming yourself and picking out clean clothes to wear when you were about to see her. You tried to be romantic. You tried to win her over.

Eventually, you did. You won. The woman you pursued agreed to spend her life with you. You got married.

Now it’s 5, 10, maybe 25 years later. And it’s all routine. There is no more magic. There is no more romance.

It’s not too late to turn that around, recapture the magic you had when you were falling in love, and start dating your wife all over again.

Gifts and Mementos

The thing about a gift is that the recipient knows it took you a moment of your day. That’s basically the anchor of every suggestion I’m about to make: spend some time. Just a little bit of your time that says you thought about her, and you cared enough to let her know.

Gifts don’t have to be jewelry and roses. They don’t have to be expensive and you don’t have to go out of your way.

A few years ago my husband walked in around dinner time from work and handed me a small brown paper bag.

When I opened it, I found two little pieces of cornbread wrapped in wax paper. He told me he had lunch at some new place, and they had the best cornbread. Knowing I love cornbread, he ordered a couple pieces to go for me. Do I need to tell you how that totally made my day?

It really is that simple.

You’re busy – we’re all busy. It’s hard to put a lot of thought into the perfect gift and it’s even harder to find the time to go shopping. So don’t. Let that go. Save that for special occasions. But you can do the simplest things every day inexpensively and easily, that will show her you remember what she likes. You listen. You thought of her. You took a moment and spent it on her.

The next time you’re in Home Depot, couldn’t you spend just a couple seconds and a couple bucks on a new little pair of garden gloves for her? If you travel for business can’t you just stop in the gift shop and grab a little teddy bear with the name of the city you’re in on it’s t-shirt. Next time you’re in Staples, check out the pen sets or the fancy stationary.

Even bringing home a little candy bar or a new flavor of Snapple that you thought she’d like says something. Take a picture with your cell phone of a dog you see, that maybe reminds you of a dog she used to have. These little gifts make all the difference.

Notes. Cards. Texts. Emails. Calls.

Again, it’s all about time. Just a little time. You’re on your computer or your Crackberry all day. Take a moment to send her “I love you.” She’ll love it.

Leave a little note someplace she’s not expecting it. Leave it taped to the fridge or the bathroom mirror. Leave it in her car, or in her coat pocket.
“Thanks for buying my favorite kind of coffee.”
“Thanks for all you do.”
“Just thought I’d say hi.”
“You looked gorgeous today, just wanted you to know.”
“You make the BEST pancakes.”
“Looking forward to seeing you at dinner.”

It doesn’t have to be long, or poetic, or painful for you to come up with. A sentence or two, a thought or two, if you don’t have a notecard any little piece of paper will do. It’s the thought that counts.

Your Appearance

We all get comfortable as time marches on. Maybe you don’t go to the gym quite as much, and you don’t have the disposable income you used to have to buy new clothes and get expensive haircuts and professional shaves.

There is a difference between becoming a little comfortable and scaling back on the money you spend on your appearance, and in totally letting yourself go. Of course you still have to shower. And wash. With soap.

You know what I’m saying here. Throw the stained shirts and the worn underwear away. Wash up before you see your wife. Comb your hair, put on a little cologne. If you’re really busy, ask her if she’d pick out a deodorant or body spray for you that she likes.

One thing you may not realize is that any effort you make, might inspire like behavior in her. Hey, maybe she’s gotten too relaxed too. Are you sick of the sweatpants? Tired of the ponytails? Believe me, when she sees that you’re making an effort to look nice for her, she will most likely follow suit.

All of these suggestions will inspire her to want to date you again too.

The Home: Cleaning, Cooking. Help. Notice.

Don’t let yourself take for granted all she does. If she’s the one that does the majority of the housework or the cleaning, make sure you let her know how good the house looks, or how much you loved her pasta salad. Offer to take care of dinner once in a while to give her a break. You can learn how to make one half way decent meal. Or you could bring home Japanese take out. Or, you could do something fun like make breakfast for dinner. People love that.

When you were dating you took her out to eat. You picked restaurants, you handled the arrangements. Do that again. Even if you can’t afford a bunch of fancy restaurants and even if you don't have a ton of time. You can still pick a meal and handle the arrangements. She’ll love it.

You were getting to know her. You aren’t finished.

When you were dating, you didn’t know everything about her. You had to ask her what her favorite movie is. You had to listen to her talk to find out if she believed in the Lochness Monster, or if she ever saw Blink 182 live.

Well, time has passed, and guess what. You don’t know everything about her, again. What does she think about Blink getting back together? Does she watch Dr Phil? Is that show any good? What is the best thing about her job? What is the worst? What does she think about the current president, or the new mall, or the carpet in the living room. Did she hear the neighbors fighting the other night? Does she miss having a dog? Has she checked out that Stupid Pet Tricks youtube video you sent her?

Her opinions, her thoughts, her fears, her dreams, her likes and dislikes, her concerns and her pleasures have all continued to grow and change and accumulate. And so have yours. Tell her how you feel about something. Ask her what she thinks. Just like when you were dating.

All of these things are romantic. Romance isn’t fairytales. Romance can be a little note, a compliment, or a little bag of cornbread.

This article

was written by Veronica for Hubpages. If you are reading it anyplace else, it has been stolen.

All text is original content by Veronica.

All photos are used with permission.

All videos are courtesy of youtube.

Got a relationship question? Email me. Thanks!

Christopher Walken cooking chicken dinner


Submit a Comment

  • Apryl Schwarz profile image

    Apryl Schwarz 

    6 years ago from Nebraska

    Great hub, love all of these tips!

  • Aqua profile image


    9 years ago from California

    Good tips! I love the little tidbit about your hubby bringing home cornbread for you - so thoughtful and sweet!

  • Jbunton profile image


    9 years ago from United States of America

    this is great, and so true!

  • prasetio30 profile image


    9 years ago from malang-indonesia

    great hub, thanks for share

  • Veronica profile imageAUTHOR


    9 years ago from NY

    Awesome, Triplet Mom, thanks for reading! I hope it works. ;)

  • Triplet Mom profile image

    Triplet Mom 

    9 years ago from West Coast

    This has been sent to my hubby. I am certain he will figure it out!

  • Veronica profile imageAUTHOR


    9 years ago from NY

    Thanks mamahops! I hope it helps.

  • profile image


    9 years ago

    Nice hub, Veronica, thank you for the reminder to continue 'dating' and impressing your spouse! It can really make things so much more manageable at times, and renew the magic in a marriage.

  • Veronica profile imageAUTHOR


    9 years ago from NY


    Thanks so much!

  • Lady_E profile image


    9 years ago from London, UK

    What a lovely Hub. When I eventually get married, I will email this to my hubby anonymously :)


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)