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Conversations and Relationships

Updated on November 26, 2013

Women in Conversation

Share Your World With Others

To have real relationship, there must be two way communication. Talking for some is a difficult issue. Shyness or uncertainty may keep individuals from sharing their world with others. Will what I share be heard? How will my thoughts be received? How will I be received? Is it really safe to share? These are important issues for those who struggle with talking.

Women are the best talkers, deep sharing for them comes more naturally. They usually have a surplus of words at the end of the day while most men are limited to around 10,000 words daily. Generally, women love to share about their feelings and insights, their opinions and their ideas. Women are wired to talk. They relate with each other through conversation about anything and everything, important things or not.

Men relate differently. They talk, but usually at a more superficial level. They will relate to each other with conversations about sports and jobs. Rarely will you find a man who loves to share his feelings, or really knows what he feels. Men can feel close to each other without the benefit of unlimited sharing. A football game with a friend, some wild cheering for the team, and you have a friendship that is growing. Men are wired differently than women.

Posturing to Listen

Good Listeners

Good listening skills are imperative for a good relationship! How is your posture while listening? Where are you looking? What kind of feedback are you giving that shows you care and hear what is being said?

Posture during listening says more than words could ever say. A good listener has a posture that is open to the sharer. He or she is leaning toward the conversation, not away from it.

Staying in the conversation, not walking away while the other person is sharing is VERY IMPORTANT! Walking away during the conversation is rude and disrespectful of the other person, to say the least! If you need to leave the conversation, close it by verbally communicating your reason for leaving and state when you can get back to finish the conversation. Follow through with your statement by revisiting the conversation when you said you would.

Toe tapping, shaking the leg, sighing out loud, staring at the ground, or clicking a pen are not good listening practices and are considered rude. Focus instead on what the other person is saying, look at them while they speak and give occasional feedback that says I hear you! A mere nod of the head occasionally can be helpful in affirming the other person who is talking. Rewording what you just heard and repeating it back can also affirm that you heard correctly.

Use These Skills In All Of Your Relationships

Good listening skills are helpful in marriage, in parenting, in friendships, and in business. To listen well will grow your relationships in every area of your life. Talking and sharing is important, but good listening is the most valuable tool in your tool belt of life. It reflects a maturity and integrity that will carry you far in life! Are you a good listener??

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  • PaulaK profile image

    Paula Kirchner 7 years ago from Austin. Texas

    Good thoughts shanshane2. I appreciate your insight! So will others. Have a terrific day!

  • shanshane2 profile image

    shanshane2 7 years ago from Rochester, WA

    I know as a man it's easy to slip into non-listening mode! In the workplace, failure to listen usually means that something won't get done properly and likely will have to be done again. And as far as hiding behind email, sometimes it's better to get all of your thoughts organized so that you can be as clear as possible. True that you don't see eyes and body language, but recalling the communication through email is a nice thing to be able to do. For me, when I recall conversations, even if I remember the words, I mostly think about how I felt about the conversation. I like the hub!

  • PaulaK profile image

    Paula Kirchner 7 years ago from Austin. Texas

    Yes, One2Recognize2. I think it is important also! Thanks for the comment!

  • one2recognize2 profile image

    one2recognize2 7 years ago from New York

    Communication is a wonderful tool when shared with all around you. Great hub PaulaK. =)

  • PaulaK profile image

    Paula Kirchner 7 years ago from Austin. Texas

    Thank Pmccray. You are right about technology keeping us from interpersonal contact. Have a blessed day and thanks for the comment!

  • pmccray profile image

    pmccray 7 years ago from Utah

    Great hub, with the bombardment of technology we have today, we seem to be more into hiding behind the e-mail,PC, cell phone screens. Interpersonal contact is almost non existent.

  • PaulaK profile image

    Paula Kirchner 7 years ago from Austin. Texas

    Thanks Quill. Eye contact is extremely important.!

  • profile image

    "Quill" 7 years ago

    Love this...well written...always look people in the eyes when listening and talking as it shows you care about them...


  • PaulaK profile image

    Paula Kirchner 7 years ago from Austin. Texas

    You are so right mboosali. It takes work, effort and focus. Awesome sharing, thanks!

  • mboosali profile image

    mboosali 7 years ago from Minneapolis

    I really like this. As a young man, I think one of the most unique things that a guy can do, something that really makes them stick out is to be able to listen. Guys don't like to confront their problems with any emotion, or openness. At my college we had a "Men's Leadership Retreat" that focused on sharing feelings, revealing worries, and listening intently. It was amazing how different this weekend was. The stereotypes that men cannot communicate, or have trouble listening was tossed out the window for a weekend. Everyone was very capable of positive communication. Society puts big pressures on men to be strong, so much so that they feel that they can't be honest, or that they must have all the answers. One of the most important things I've noticed is when people open up and talk about a struggle or an issue in their lives, they are not always looking for advice. Giving advice is fine but sometimes asking questions to help the individual think the situation out themselves is more helpful. Good hub.

  • PaulaK profile image

    Paula Kirchner 7 years ago from Austin. Texas

    Pamela, excellent point. Thanks for stopping by!

  • Pamela99 profile image

    Pamela Oglesby 7 years ago from United States

    Excellent hub and being a good listener is extremely important. I know sometimes I am trying to get my point across and I have to consciously think to make sure the other person gets the same privilege.

  • PaulaK profile image

    Paula Kirchner 7 years ago from Austin. Texas

    Cajunrooster, it's great you are good about sharing feelings, and like you said so many aren't. Thanks for the affirmation!

    Breakfastpop, listening is sooo important. Thanks for leaving a comment!!

    You both are awesome.

  • breakfastpop profile image

    breakfastpop 7 years ago

    Terrific hub. I believe a great many people have to improve their listening skills. It could make all the difference in the world when in comes to relationships.

  • cajunrooster profile image

    John David LeCoq 7 years ago from San Antonio, Texas

    This is a great hub and I hope tons of people read it. I talk more than most men and I am able to share my feelings, but it's not easy. As you can guess I can write about what I feel much easier than I can tell someone about it. Communication is the key in relationships, career and just about everything we do. And many people, especially men, just don't do a good job at it. A great hub!!