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Conversations and Relationships
Women in Conversation
Share Your World With Others
To have real relationship, there must be two way communication. Talking for some is a difficult issue. Shyness or uncertainty may keep individuals from sharing their world with others. Will what I share be heard? How will my thoughts be received? How will I be received? Is it really safe to share? These are important issues for those who struggle with talking.
Women are the best talkers, deep sharing for them comes more naturally. They usually have a surplus of words at the end of the day while most men are limited to around 10,000 words daily. Generally, women love to share about their feelings and insights, their opinions and their ideas. Women are wired to talk. They relate with each other through conversation about anything and everything, important things or not.
Men relate differently. They talk, but usually at a more superficial level. They will relate to each other with conversations about sports and jobs. Rarely will you find a man who loves to share his feelings, or really knows what he feels. Men can feel close to each other without the benefit of unlimited sharing. A football game with a friend, some wild cheering for the team, and you have a friendship that is growing. Men are wired differently than women.
Posturing to Listen
Good listening skills are imperative for a good relationship! How is your posture while listening? Where are you looking? What kind of feedback are you giving that shows you care and hear what is being said?
Posture during listening says more than words could ever say. A good listener has a posture that is open to the sharer. He or she is leaning toward the conversation, not away from it.
Staying in the conversation, not walking away while the other person is sharing is VERY IMPORTANT! Walking away during the conversation is rude and disrespectful of the other person, to say the least! If you need to leave the conversation, close it by verbally communicating your reason for leaving and state when you can get back to finish the conversation. Follow through with your statement by revisiting the conversation when you said you would.
Toe tapping, shaking the leg, sighing out loud, staring at the ground, or clicking a pen are not good listening practices and are considered rude. Focus instead on what the other person is saying, look at them while they speak and give occasional feedback that says I hear you! A mere nod of the head occasionally can be helpful in affirming the other person who is talking. Rewording what you just heard and repeating it back can also affirm that you heard correctly.
Use These Skills In All Of Your Relationships
Good listening skills are helpful in marriage, in parenting, in friendships, and in business. To listen well will grow your relationships in every area of your life. Talking and sharing is important, but good listening is the most valuable tool in your tool belt of life. It reflects a maturity and integrity that will carry you far in life! Are you a good listener??