Conversations and Relationships
Women in Conversation
Share Your World With Others
To have real relationship, there must be two way communication. Talking for some people can be difficult. Shyness or uncertainty can deter individuals from sharing their world with others. Will what I share be heard? How will my thoughts be received? How will I be received? Is it really safe to share? These are important issues for those who struggle with talking and intimacy.
Women are the best conversationalists, deep sharing for them comes more naturally. They most often have a surplus of words at the end of the day while most men are limited to around 10,000 words per day. Talkative women love to share their feelings and insights, their opinions and their ideas. Women are naturally wired for conversation. They relate with others through words about anything and everything, important things or not.
Men relate differently. They talk, but most often at a superficial level. They will relate to each other with conversations about sports and jobs. Rarely will you find a man who loves to share his feelings, or really knows what he feels. Men can feel close to each other without the benefit of unlimited sharing. A football game with a friend, some wild cheering for the team, and you have a growing friendship. Men are wired differently than women.
Posturing to Listen
Good Listeners
Listening skills are imperative for good communication! How is your posture while listening? Where are you looking? What kind of feedback are you giving the other person that shows you care and truly hear what is being said?
Posturing during listening speaks louder than words. A good listener has a posture that is open to the sharer. He or she is leaning toward the conversation, not away from it.
Staying in the conversation, not walking away while the other person is sharing, is VERY IMPORTANT! Walking away during a conversation is rude and disrespectful to the other person, to say the least! If you need to leave the conversation, close it by verbally communicating your reason for leaving and state when you can get back to finish the conversation. Follow through with your statement by revisiting the conversation when you said you would.
Toe tapping, shaking the leg, sighing out loud, staring at the ground, or clicking a pen are not good listening practices and are considered rude. Focus instead on what the other person is saying, look at them while they speak and give occasional feedback that says I hear you! A mere nod of the head occasionally can be helpful in affirming the other person while talking. Rewording what you just heard and repeating it back can also affirm that you heard correctly. It also allows that person to correct any misunderstanding that possibly occurred.
Use These Skills In All Of Your Relationships
Good listening skills are helpful in marriage, in parenting, in friendships, and in business. To listen well will grow your relationships in every area of your life. Talking and sharing is important, but good listening is the most valuable tool in your tool belt of life. It reflects a maturity and integrity that will carry you far! Are you a good listener??