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How To Move On From Being Dumped: For Young Women
I’ll say it short and sweet: getting broken up with sucks. It sucks because now bridges are burnt, memories are forced to stay in the past, and you don’t have that one person to call up at night anymore or cuddle up next to on cold nights. As for us, – the teenage girls and adolescent women – we know how difficult a breakup can take its toll on us because of our sometimes unpredictable emotions, thanks to the dirty outcome of biology and society mixing together. Well, I’m here to help: this article is for you if you’re finding being dumped is too difficult to move on from.
Here’s the truth – for whatever reason, it’s over. Maybe it was irreconcilable differences or simply it just wasn’t a happy time together anymore. When things are over, it’s time to move on from them. When you’re at the movies and the end credits begin rolling, you know it’s time to leave.
Your now-ex cared about you – and probably still do, but unfortunately, it just may not be in the same way. One of those crazy facts of life is that people move on from things that they can’t find themselves happy with anymore. The only thing that you can do is let them move on; you don’t want to be that crazy girl who chases their ex around because you’re convinced it’s not over (even though they’ve already said that it is). The reality is that no matter how much we want to, we can’t change somebody else’s feelings.
Once you understand that, acceptance is next simply because it’s the truth. Honestly, this is just something that you’re dealing with right now throughout your whole life! Five years from now, you may not even remember their name. (Okay, probably not; but hopefully in five years, you will be able to see them on the street and say hello with confidence because you know you look and feel good.)
Think about it this way: people get broken up with all the time. Realize that you’re not the only one hurting in this world and you’re not the only one who is experiencing this. If you were, I wouldn’t be here writing this article.
Let’s move on, shall we? The positive side of this (I know, who would’ve thought?) is that every breakup offers a lesson to be learned. And as long as you don’t repel that lesson and you can say that you’ve learned something from that relationship, you’re already on your way to acceptance!
Now, I’m not going to lie. Getting yourself to move on from the breakup isn’t going to be easy, but it is possible. It’s going to take time, but like the old saying goes, time heals everything. Remember this: you have to want to move on in order to be able to.
To keep your mind off of your ex-lover, I suggest you keep yourself preoccupied with these ideas:
- Be creative. Whether you’re a writer, artist, musician, or none of them at all, putting down your feelings into some sort of creative form is going to help release your anger and let out the negative emotions. Who knows? You may end up writing something really amazing. The best pieces of work come from strong emotion.
- Friends. They are amazing companions that have (silently) vowed to be there through your best and your worst. Personally, I don’t know how I would’ve survived my breakups without them by my side. It was simple things that we did together, even when I didn’t want to. Venting to your friends about your feelings is also a great way to release anger, and you might even get some good advice in return.
- Laugh. I remember never wanting to laugh or smile, but like the quote goes: “Nobody cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” Sometimes, my unhappiness and negative attitude also brought down my friends and I ultimately became more difficult to deal with. Did you know that if you force yourself to be happy through laughter or smiling, you actually do become happier? If your ex happens to see you while you're happy, just think about how good and confident that makes you look.
- School/Work. Trust me, I know this probably isn’t the most exciting thing going on in anybody’s lives, but it does keep you busy. Becoming more involved in your schoolwork or work activities should be a priority, and now that you have reason to really keep your mind on top of other things, this is a perfect reason to begin excelling.
- Gather and put away anything that was given by your ex in a box. Hide it away deep into your closet, or just ask somebody to hide it for you. Delete their contact from your phone, unfollow them on Twitter, and it’s probably best that you unfriend them for the moment, too, so you don’t feel tempted at seeing how they’re doing without you.
- If you go to school or work with your ex, try taking different routes to avoid confrontation.
- Change is good: rearrange your room, get a manicure, get new clothes, or do something different with your hair. Change little things like the desktop of your computer. It’s little things that can make a person feel refreshed after they’re used to seeing the same things every day.
So if it’s over, you have two choices: continue to mourn or try to move on. Remember: you have to want to move on, or you won’t be able to.