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How To Survive An Affair

Updated on October 22, 2011

Why You Need To Survive An Affair

I may not be an expert when it comes to affairs but I am doing the research to try and help every single person that has ever had to deal with an affair or for anyone that may have to in the future.

Where my expertise comes in is being a good husband that is married to a great wife.

In many cases one or both spouses dont even want to survive an affair, however on another avenue there are many couples that want to put in all the effort to try and save a relationship after an affair.

I have been searching for a great niche to write about for a very long time and I believe this is the one.

In many cases a couple can survive an affair and in many cases they want to. The problem comes into play when they have no clue as to where to turn. With the information I will supply I am hoping I will give confused couples an avenue to look at before allowing a loving relationship to be ruined by an absolutely stupid mistake.

Surviving An Affair Requires Answers

Why People Cheat

1. Some people actually think they have the right to screw around on their partner. This is even more true if things in the bedroom havent been so good lately. Many people think its okay to go running to someone else when things get a little difficult in the marriage.

2. Insecurity tends to be a big reason when it comes to cheating. in many cases the guy feels very insecure when the wife focuses more time on kids then the relationship. The truth is many moms do get so into their childrens lives that they are too tired to focus on the relationship with their spouses.

When it comes to guys they tend to spend too much time at work or play. When these things happen it is actually quite normal that the wife go looking for affection else where.

These things seem to fall upon people more and more as they get older. In some cases the affair doesnt even have to be sexual even though in most cases it does turn out going in that direction.

3. Surviving an affair means surviving sex and love. In many cases for one reason or another sex may become lacking in a relationship. When this does happen the partners usually believe going some where else is the only solution.

Some people need the same sex, and emotion that was in the first part of the relationship. We all know that in almost all cases this just isnt possible. The problem is the person craving for the same feelings as in the beginning go looking else where to try and get that feeling all over again. In many cases the person craving even believes that their spouse has lost interest instead of just got busy with life.

In fact in many cases the spouse that ends up straying say they did so just for the fun. They claim the fun is gone from their marriage and need to find it else where.

The key is to work hard on maintaining the love and marriage in a relationship. This will simply help avoid many, many issues that may come up and surviving an affair shouldnt even be in your vocabulary.

4. Then there is the partner who just wants to go out and have a night of lust and fun. This is usually reffered to as a one night stand. Love isnt a part of this but more just like a satisfaction for another persons lust.

5. Then of course we have the old growing apart excuse. It seems that quite often peoples interests tend to go in different directions. When people tend to go in different directions they also tend to do things that really shouldnt happen. It really is about focusing and adjusting accordingly so surving an affair doesnt even become an issue.

6. When a relationship is all but done people tend to go out looking for companionship because they dont want to be alone when the marriage finally ends. This way they will have some one there when there is no more chance of anything working out. In no way is this right but it is what happens.

Survive An Affair-Some Stats

With a subject like this it is often difficult to find stats and numbers that fairly portray something like numbers that are part of having affairs. I have however done my best to find numbers that have been confirmed and are dredible.

Below is a rather long list of some astonishing details when it comes to educating ourselves on how to survive an affair.

When it comes to men at least 22 percent have admitted to fooling around just once during the time they were married.

When it comes to women the number that said they had at least a one time affair was 14 percent.

In more cases young people tend to stray. The number as compared from men to women are none. Just as many young women as young men participate in affairs.

In both cases over half of people never new their spouses had affairs.

In any given year based on reports 5 percent of men and 3 percent of women will be having an affair.

As much as it happens 90 percent of North Americans still believe having an affair is very wrong.

When it comes to divorce rates in North America almost 20 percent are because of infidelity.

Not many men feel online affairs are the same as cheating.

Almost one in 3 marriages will be affected by some sort of infidelity.

I could list hundreds and hundreds more stats along the way. The problem is I want to focus on what is really going on when it comes to people having affairs. I hope to be able to do several hubs on the topic.

I hope to be able to take my research and mix it with my absolutely wonderful relationship of almost 25 years and put my own spin on things.

Survive An Affair-Where To Turn

It happens to so many people and to be honest they have no clue where to turn.

They are usually to embarressed to talk to anyone and at the beginning are just looking for advice.

Take a look at my blog at After An Affair


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    • profile image


      6 years ago

      My gf meant everything to me We did everything together Scuba diving, dance lessons, wine tasting, kettlebell classes, and Yoga together. She was my girlfriend and my best friend as well I kept nothing from her and told her everything.II tried to do one thing to make her smile or laugh everyday.

      I had never felt so betrayed in my entire life, when I found out she was cheating on me. To make matters worse the other man had Hep B. So my health was at risk as well. we went to counseling and I told her to sever all ties with the other, and I would be willing to work things out with her. She still continued to see the other behind my back. In the end she left me for the other man. When I think of all the times she lied to me about where she was, what she was doing, and who she was out with I feel very stupid for being so trusting. When we first met she was heartbroken because her last boyfriend had cheated on her. She was so hurt by his betrayal, and I was there to mop up the tears. At 32 years old I was the first boyfriend she had ever cheated on lucky me, and now I have lost her forever to the other man.

      I don't ever want to date ever again

    • pmccray profile image


      7 years ago from Utah

      The union of marriage is hard work. You're two individuals who have their own personalities. First one should make sure that the effort is worth it. If a party has made up his or her mind a true show of love is to let that person go. Your hub is full of wonderful well needed advice, when faced with this type of betrayal or failure it is hard to know what to do. Thank you.

    • Dale Mazurek profile imageAUTHOR

      Dale Mazurek 

      7 years ago from Canada

      In all honesty it seems you held out much longer than I would have.

      I am sorry you had to lose so many years of your life due to an greedy man.

      Thanks for stopping by hello


    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      7 years ago from London, UK

      Very well worded hub and advice. Looking back my ex had an affair all our marriage life. When it came to an head was when one of them wanted to move in and he wanted me and our son out. I fought for 10 years to keep the hom, family and marriage going but lost. You can survive an affair when both partners seriously want to.

    • Dale Mazurek profile imageAUTHOR

      Dale Mazurek 

      7 years ago from Canada

      Thats hilarious Lynda and a little bit of smile can go a long way in a situation like this. Once again thanks for stopping by Lynda


    • lmmartin profile image


      7 years ago from Alberta and Florida

      Dale, my husband is having an affair, a deep emotional, all consuming, passionate affair. I've given up trying to compete. I'm not saying the marriage is over, though it must sound like it should be. Her name is football. Lynda


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