ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How You Can Have Both Peace in Your Family and Fun on The Beach at The Same Time

Updated on July 5, 2014

Father playing "Chase" with kids

Source

Summer is the right time

It’s the quintessential yearly-event: The husband, wife, and two kids, ages seven and eight, going on their family vacation. Oh, what fun. Both parents have worked like dogs all year for this week-off to enjoy whatever freedom they get away from the jobs they hate just to do one thing: Relax. Ahhh, even the word, re—la—x, makes me drowsy and ready to fall asleep.

Be honest. Have you ever just sat back and watched the following scene unfold: Here comes dad shadowing middle-age, hair thinning, girth bigger than a year ago, carrying the two-person cooler by himself, plus floatees to blow-up with his own aching lungs (thanks to smoking cigarettes), a big beach umbrella, and a case of soda.

This man is not talking to his wife, but a pretty blond who walk walking all alone

Source

American Gothic

Source

American Gothic

is a painting by Grant Wood in the collection of the Art Institute of Chicago. Wood's inspiration came from what is known as the American Gothic House, and his decision to paint the house along with "the kind of people (he) fancied should live in that house.

The painting shows a farmer standing beside his spinster daughter. The figures were modeled by the artist's sister and their dentist. The woman is dressed in a colonial print apron imaging 19th-century Americana.

The couple are in the traditional roles of men and women, the man's pitchfork stand for hard labor, and the flowers over the woman's right shoulder suggesting domesticity.
Americdan Gothic is one of the most familiar images in 20th-century American art, and has been widely parodied in American popular culture.

Source: WiKipedia

The scene unfolds

Mom follows behind with no lies about her age, she still has a knock-out figure, but that brunette hair is not natural. She carries a portable CD player, three iPads, binoculars, two adult floats that hubby will blow-up (if he doesn’t have a cardiac arrest from blowing up the kids’ Spongebob and Patrick floatees), sun screen, and beach blankets.

What a typical American scene. If I were a noted, respected critic, I would replace the standard “American Gothic,” (by Grant Wood) with this event—the husband’s resentment (not hidden from his face) from being used for a pack mule, the two spoiled youngsters whining over and over about the same thing, “We want Disneyland . . .We want Disneyland,” they are so annoying they even complain in perfect harmony. And mom secretly-enjoying those lustful looks from the “20 something,” guys who think her bikini fits just right. (if they only knew of the body cleanses, diet rituals, fasts, and hours spent in the sauna, they might not think the bikini is so hot).

You have to look closely to really see what is happening. Mom and dad have grown apart over the years. Sad, if you ask me. They are slaves of their jobs and maxed-out credit cards thanks to the kids needing name-brand shoes, clothes, and computers for Christmas. To say nothing about their addiction of “Keeping up with everyone,” in the neighborhood—when “Dick” and “Fifi,” got a new BMW, this man and woman “had” to trade in their Camry that was paid-off all because of “Dick’s” lust for a BMW? I wonder if the man and woman heading down to the surf side ever thought of “Dick’s” job paying more than their jobs. Could explain the new BMW?

This is the fantasy that the guy in this story is wanting to have

Source

Dreams are hard to capture

These hopelessly-in-debt, resentful, couples are after one thing: She wants to lie on her back and deepen her tan and not to have to talk to the husband or kids at all. You could say the same about the husband, but he “does” love his children, but not that much right now. His thing is to gaze at other gorgeous girls ‘til his heart is content while the two children knock themselves out building sand castles, riding their wave boards, playing with their iPads—anything to keep them busy and not bothering him.

Sadly, both this woman and man said goodbye to their youth many years ago. No wonder they both live on anti-depressants. They always see “Dick” and “Fifi,” out walking, jogging, eating right and acting positive. Then they look at each other, then into the full-length mirror in their bedroom and I should stop right here, for the rest of this paragraph is beginning to make “me” depressed.

With that being said. This piece is hopefully a help for both the man and woman—to enjoy, if only in a spark, some of their vim and vigor they would pay a year of “Dick’s” salary to have again.

So now, another middle-aged guy is having the same fantasy as the other middle-aged guy in my story

Source

"Mikie, stay with mommie. Daddy needs to go to town for a long time."

Source

"Daddy, say hello to 'Poppy Porpoise!"

Source

"Sally, Jonnie, stay with Daddy. Mommie has to go to town for a long time!"

Source

"Daddy, are you asleep?"

Source

Man lusting after a pretty woman

Source

"Honey, are you listening to me?"

Source

“How You Can Have Both, Peace in Your Family and Fun on The Beach at The Same Time,”

can be accomplished if you, the man and woman, will quit “Over-Dreaming,” and face reality and dream some realistic-dreams.

To the woman first:

  • If you enjoy “those” looks from the “20 something’s,” there is no harm in you walking up to them and ask directions to the showers, but first, make sure they are not right in front of you otherwise you will look foolish.
  • Ask one of them if he would be so kind as to rub some sun screen on your back, but emphasize, “That’s it,” and wink at him.
  • If this event happens, join with him in some real conversation. Fact: It might make you wish you were talking to your husband because, dearie, you and this young man are definitely in a “Culture Gap.”
  • If talking to your husband turns you off, simply turn from on your back to on your side and act as if you were asleep, but you better be without a conscience because you will feel guilt in its worst forms because you know that he doesn’t drink, yes, he smokes, he doesn’t gamble, go with the guys on a “Guys’ Weekend,” to hunt girls, so be careful if you act asleep. It would be nobler to just tell him you are not in the mood for talking.
  • If you miss the company of other women, I am sure that you could find plenty of women on the beach who are there for the same reason you are: A short escape from being a wife and mother.

And now for the man . . .

  • If your kids annoy you into playing with them . . .do it. Your wife will not gripe at you for being selfish on the way home.
  • As you are chasing the kids in a game of “Tag,” and you see a pretty girl walking your way, go ahead. Suck-in your stomach. What harm will you be doing? She is only going to get a laugh from a man your age trying to impress a girl of her youth.
  • If one of your kids should hurt their foot, you hurry and kneel down and talk softly to them. Fact: women, I have been told, love sensitive guys. That’s enough of this sentence.
  • And if the child that is mildly-injured is not one of your kids, but a very hot blonde’s son just down the beach, well, this event “might” lead to something you have never done, but be aware of the consequences. Think wisely.
  • If,” and I mean a huge “if,” a very pretty woman, your age, stops where you are watching the kids and asks, “I hate to be this way, but may I buy you a drink?” Just smile and get hold of your feelings and reply, “I am very flattered, but after 22 years of marriage, and two children, I still love my wife.” (Get ready to get the kids and leave). I have seen instances the woman proposing to buy a married guy a drink will say, “Ohhh, I think you are so sexy and hot—to still love your wife. Not many guys are like that.” Why are you still standing there?

Coming soon . . .”10 Bad Things That Can Happen at a Funeral.”

"May I borrow some ice? Thanks. Wow, you girls sure look good!"

Source
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)