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How Do I Know I Love Her?

Updated on March 15, 2018

How do I know that I really Love her?

We live in a culture that has been Romanized by Love movies that have given us a very false idea of what Love is. Movies such as " The notebook", "Cinderella", and every other chick flick you can think of.

All of these movies make love to appear as this romantic feeling, some incredible sensation in the pit of your stomach. So a lot of us because of that wait for some prince charming or beautiful princess to come along and make us feel good inside before we will ever consider marriage.

Let's say your in a relationship with someone and your trying to figure how to move to the next step, meaning marriage and Children, how do you know you truly love her?


Reason one you know you Love her because you choose to Love her.

Love is not a feeling, Love is an action. Love is not based on how you feel inside, because our feelings can be a bit deceptive. One day you feel warm and connected to someone the next day you don't want them around.

If you base your entire relationship based on how you feel, your relationship will be up and down for the rest of your life. There would be no stability. Your relationship will be knocked over with every wind that comes against it.

But if its a choice and not based on how you feel, it will be as stable as rock and not easily moved.

The reality is that I have been married for 2 years and some days I wake up and I cannot stand my wife. For no reason I just wake up annoyed, and all of my emotions are warring against my wife. Now if I submit to that lie and react based on how I feel it will cause a great big fight and my marriage will be in trouble.

But if I react based on what I know, that I choose to love her, and I choose to respect her, and I choose to care for her, then I am not concerned about how I feel.

Are there days where I feel warm and cuddly, of course there is. Are there days when my marriage feels like a love movie, absolutely. But there also days where I feel like the Grinch but I choose not to respond based on how I feel.


Love is a choice.

Once again Love is a choice. You can look at that beautiful Woman and logically say is this the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. And you can come to a logical choice to Love her or not. Its up to you.

If your waiting for the fairy butterflies you'll be waiting forever, Love is not a feeling, its an action word. Love is a verb and love is a choice.


The second reason you know you love her is based on what you do.

Love is a Verb. Love is not just words, and emotions, Love is an action. You can prove that you love someone based on what you do for that person.

If a Man or Woman say they Love you but they talk to other women, or Men. They have another person on the side, that is not love. No matter how many butterflies you get when your around them, that is not love.

Love is an action. Love is sacrifice. You can look at what that person does for you, and vice versa to determine if you really love them and they really love you.

How does my wife know I love her because I smooth talk her and then come home and sit on my butt? No that would not be genuine love.

My wife knows that I love her because I go to work for her, and I come home and help around the house. My wife knows I love her because I don't talk to other women. I write her poems.

She knows I love her because I do the dishes when I'm exhausted. You can see love. It involves movement, Love is work. Love is sacrifice. Love is care.

How do I know my wife loves me because she cleans up the house, she takes care of the kids, she spends time with. She doesn't talk to other men, I can see Love when I look at her because Love is active.

If that man you love is always talking to girls on Facebook then he does not love you. Again Love is based on what you do. If you can't stop talking to other girls, and tweeting other women then you don't love your girlfriend. No matter how many bubbles you have in your gut.


Lastly Love comes from God.

I knew I loved my wife because God put that Love in my heart. We love because God first loved us. Even if your not the religious type you can agree when the bible says "There is no greater form of love then to give up your life for your friends".

Are you willing to give up your life for that Woman, then you know you love her. Jesus was crucified and nailed to a cross because He loved us. Will you be willing to sacrifice all other women or all other men for that one special Woman?

Are you willing to sacrifice the clubs and parties and commit yourself to that Woman? Are you willing to spend time with her consistently for the next 50 years.

Again Love at the end of the day is your own personal choice, and Love is an action. You know you love her because you choose to love her.


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    • ArtCultureJesus profile image
      Author

      Stefen Beasley 2 months ago from Glendale

      Thanks for taking the time to read my article it means a lot, and agree, a lot of people do take advantage of genuine love,

    • David Fadiya profile image

      David Fadiya 2 months ago from Turkey

      I really love your article but i must say this that love is not complicated as we all take it to be its just a lot of us just use it for different reasons and take advantage of those who are emotionally attached to it which is a pity because people love truely and if you find that one who loves you truthfully you have to cherish them whole heartedly and when you find them stick with them.

    • ArtCultureJesus profile image
      Author

      Stefen Beasley 2 months ago from Glendale

      I agree 100 percent! Thanks for the comment! Love is surely a complicated matter to understand. But I agree with a lot that you said1

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 months ago

      Love is nothing more than caring deeply about the welfare of another person. The primary difference between "romantic love" versus parental, sibling, and friendship love is we have a desire to be physically intimate with our romantic partner.

      I agree love is a choose.

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Each of us has our own mate selection process/must haves list.

      Each of us has our own boundaries and "deal breakers".

      Essentially if we get to choose who we spend our free time with by default we are choosing and eliminating who we're likely to love. While I believe God is love I don't believe he plays cupid.

      Clearly if he did the divorce rate would not be near 50%.

      Human beings make mistakes in every area of their life including choosing the wrong boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse for themselves!

      Truth be told when it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Very few people hit a homerun their first, second, third, or fourth time up at bat. If this were not the case we would all be married to our high school sweethearts!

      It is because of our mistakes and heartaches that we (learn) to craft our own mate selection process/must haves list in addition learning how to date from a place of awareness, having realistic expectations, and not to ignore "red flags".

      Everyone has (their own idea) of what love "feels like", "looks like" and how people "in love" should "act like". People are basically looking for someone to love them "the way" (they) want to be loved. They're not going to (feel loved) until that happens regardless of what is in their mate's heart. There is no universal definition for love. Everyone is looking for love to be expressed a (certain) way.

      The goal is to find someone who naturally expresses love the way you want and vice versa. One man's opinion! :)

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