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How Do I Know If He Likes Me More Than Just a Friend

Updated on March 5, 2020
EvieSparkes profile image

Evie Sparkes is a published novelist, content writer and company director from the UK.

When Friendship Looks Like it Might be Something Else

You feel it, you think he feels it too, only you can't be sure. He seems to look at you differently these days. He pays you more compliments than usual and he prefers spending time with you than going out with the lads. But still, you aren't sure. Do you risk the friendship by asking the question; Are you into me?

Imagine the way you will feel if he stutters over his words and makes excuses as to why you are better as friends, it's not you it's him...

You are falling for him in a big way. You think about him on and off all day. You find yourself getting butterflies when you are getting ready to meet up with him. You're only going to the pub but it feels like a huge deal. It didn't before, before you had these stupid feelings. Where did they come from? They were't here and now they are.

You wish you didn't feel this way because where do you even go from here? What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if he does? Either way, moving from friendship to a relationship is a tricky transition. You love being with him and you don't want to stuff it all up with sex, only you do.....Your head is a mass of tangled wires and you have no idea what to do for the best. What should you do if you really want to know if he's keen to progress your friendship into something more?


Signs He's Into You

He touches you more often that he used to. Not in a sexual way rather in a light touch sort of way. He holds your arm when you are in deep conversation and looks intently at you. He's really interested in what you have to say and your opinions.

Touching is a good indicator that he likes you. If he casually touches you and doesn't pull away when you do the same then there is a good chance he likes you as more than a friend.

If he's into you then he might remove barriers. If you are on a sofa say, and he moves the cushion separating you so that he can get closer to you he might well be thinking of you that way.

Body orientation is another factor in determining whether or not he is into you on a romantic level. He will lean into you rather than face his body away from you when you are talking.

When You Make the Decision to Tell Him How You Feel

This is a huge decision on one hand, but the most sensible one on the other. You might be holding out for him only to find out he's just not that into you after all. You need to get on with life and meet other people if that is the case. You need to know how he feels.

He might have been wanting to ask you the same question and be super-happy that you asked it first, or he might be mortified and run a mile. He might be surprised because he had no idea that you felt this way. He might want to take some time to digest this revelation and the possibility of a relationship with you. There are a number of ways this could go.

A friend and fellow author did exactly this a couple of weeks ago. He has been in love with his friend for many years and has always been convinced that they would be together as a couple one day. They spend loads of time together, they have things in common, they talk on the phone all of the time, so she must feel the same right?

He finally got up the courage to tell her how he felt. It didn't go as he had hoped it would. She's not sure how she feels right now and she confessed that actually she was seeing someone. She hadn't told him because I think subconsciously she knew how he felt about her and she didn't want to hurt him. He as gutted, but it has allowed him to move on in some way. They are still friends although there was some initial awkwardness. A few days later he met someone wonderful! He let himself be free of his attachment to his friend.

So beware that you might be disappointed at best and devastated at worst. Can you deal with both?

How to Tell Him You Want to Be More Than friends

When you have been waiting and waiting for him to broach the subject but he hasn't come anywhere near to doing so. You are there, at the point of no return. You cannot ignore these feelings anymore and you need to confront the issue head on.

It's scary as hell but what is the alternative? Carrying on feeling like this with no idea if he feels the same and then watching him move on with someone else because he was too scared to broach the subject with you too. You might just have something great.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      23 months ago from Chicago

      I often tell women if you have to "figure out" a guy odds are he is not all that (into) you. The only exception to this rule is if you're dealing with a shy awkward teenager.

      A grown man over the age of 30 is different story!

      "When you have been waiting and waiting for him to broach the subject but he hasn't come anywhere near to doing so. You are there, at the point of no return. You cannot ignore these feelings anymore and you need to confront the issue head on.

      It's scary as hell but what is the alternative? Carrying on feeling like this with no idea if he feels the same.." - Very true!

      Generally speaking if a guy is "into you" he will want to give you and the relationship a label rather leave you out on the "open market".

      Never mistake being in a "situationship" with being in a relationship.

      Some guys are very happy being with a woman who won't bring up the discussion of becoming "exclusive" or being a "couple".

      The minute you catch them with another woman they will quickly point out the fact: "We {never said} we were exclusive!"

      Don't be afraid discuss anything with anyone you have been going out with for two months or more especially if you're having sex.

      You're entitled to know where you stand before investing more time.

      If it ain't worth asking for it's not worth having!

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

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