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How do things change with your friends who don't have children when you do?

Updated on August 4, 2008

Depending on your age and the respective ages of your children and your friends, things quite often change once you enter into the realm of parenthood.

When you are a young parent (in your late teens to late twenties,) you often have friends that are still single and unattached. Once parental bliss becomes an ongoing part of your life, these friends may become either "fairweather" friends that are completely intimidated by the sound of a crying child or smell of a poopy diaper. These are the first type of friends that you lose. Or you may have the type of friends that consider it an honor to babysit for you whenever they can. These friends thrive on this vicarious experience without having to deal with the responsibilities 24/7.

When you are in your 30s - 40s, all of your friends are quite often married with children, divorced with children, or even single with children. Your friends tend to include individuals with kids near the same age as yours, sharing in the same interests. You often build a brand new circle of friends based on these commonalities. You tend to spend a lot less time with friends that do not have children.

But become a single parent, and it's a whole new ball game. Your married friends with children often side with either you or your ex-spouse and this changes the dynamics of those friendships for all concerned. Again, you often build new friendships with other single parents and may retain some true-blue friends that can accept you and love you in any circumstance. If you have a split custody situation, you may find it easy to cultivate new friendships with individuals without children during the time your children are with the other parent. It can be a best of both worlds situation for everyone concerned.

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    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 

      7 years ago from Minnesota

      This is such a REAL hub on how things change with friends over the years, depending on circumstances. I am helping my twin sister raise her two children and I love it! I went from living alone and single to living with sis and kids and now I am making new friends with neighbors and other parents right along with my sister. We both have to admit that we don't mind the week off when her ex has the kids. It gives us time to re-charge and spend time with friends. Thanks for sharing this with us:)

    • blogging2 profile image

      Rebecca Jones 

      10 years ago from Florida

      I apprechiate your comments. My husband and I are currently the first in our group to have children and it has been a definate change! I absolutely love being a mother and he a father, but the days of just going out at the drop of a hat till midnight or so are definately not there! We have one other couple who has since had a child and they have a very different dynamic in that the husband does many things without his wife or the baby, that is odd to us, but then we waited to have her, so I guess it will get better when she is a little older and can make friends that we can do things with the parents as well. It definately is a transition though!

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