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How do you heal a broken heart

Updated on February 17, 2013

You're going to feel like someone pulled a rug from underneath your feet or threw cold water in your face after your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you. You thought everything was going okay...
even though you had several arguments and fights with this person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with your love.
Your feelings are hurt and you can't seem to stop having these moments where you wake up and then it hits you that he or she will not be calling or coming around anymore. They have moved on and you are no longer a part of their life anymore. Facing family and friends who thought you two were inseparable is going to be embarrasing and hurtful for you especially when they ask what happened or what did you do to run your love off?

You might feel the need to pull the covers over your head and not face anyone for a while, but this is something that you can't do if you have a job, school and friends and family who counts on seeing you sometimes. That old song keeps coming on the radio that you and your boyfriend or girlfriend called "Our Song." "Why do they keep playing it?"

All those photos of your ex, you are taking down off of your nightstand and mantle while tears run down your face. Your favorite earrings that your boyfriend bought you is now a painful memory of what once was is now heart-wrenching. Those delicious omelet's that your girlfriend used to surprise you with is now something you have to do without.

No more walks holding hands along the seashore, no more talking about the future together. It is all water under the bridge and a faded dream. You may have even become enemies and didn't part as friends, which makes it more difficult because now you are totally isolated from each other.

Watching lovers snuggle up together in front of you at the movies makes you get a lump in your throat and sick to your stomach, so you leave the theater before the movie is over and drive home in tears. You might feel like life isn't worth it and wonder would things be better in the world if you just drove off the side of the mountain. Quickly a voice of reason tells you to get home safely and move on with your life. But, how do you do that?

Realize that your time with your ex had to come to an end. Everyone that you meet in this life is not meant to stick around forever. Each person that comes in our lives teaches us a lesson on what not to do in the next relationship or what to do in the next relationship...they teach us how to love. They say it is better to have love and lost than to not have loved at all. The painful process is that we also learn how to let go.

Without a thought for you that ex of yours might be sharing his or her time with a new boyfriend or girlfriend while you are fantasizing that he or she will come to their senses, pick up the phone and beg you to take them back. Don't delude yourself any further. You might get an urge to call your ex just to hear their voice and hang up, drive by their home to see if their car is in the driveway or see if there is someone else visiting them when it should be you. You might even think it is a good idea to send them a bouquet of flowers or box of candy along with a get back together note. Stalking can get you thrown into jail or even get you beat up by the new
significant other.

Set some limits for yourself, train your mind to quit entertaining the thought that your ex and you will end up back together again. Quit those thoughts cold turkey. Occupy your mind with other things to do, like hanging out with your buddies/the girls. Ask your friends not to mention anything to you about the ex. Put old cd's or anything that reminds you of that time with your ex, put it away in a trunk in your basement. Don't throw them away because you might regret it if you get over your ex but realize that your time spent with him or her was valuable even though it ended on a bad note and you might someday want to reminisce...just follow your heart.

If there is some things that you need to return to an it up and take it to the post office and send it to him or her. If you have mutual friends... your friends should not instigate, gossip or blame you or the ex for the relationship ending. They should remain mutual and they shouldn't tell you that they saw your ex Johnnie at the burger barn sharing
a creme soda with the new girlfriend. If they do this they are not friends at all and they are very insensitive.

If you have other friends that are not mutual friends you share with the ex... hang out with them and cry on their shouders or vent if you must to them. Spend quality time with your family. Drive up to the country to visit grandma and grandpa or go fly fishing with your cousin Skeeter. Take up a hobby, you know that one where you used to bake cookies for the homeless
and you quit when you met your boyfriend who demanded that all of your time should be spent with him.

All of those plans that you were going to marry and raise a family. Don't throw those plans out because they will happen... and happen with the right guy in due season. Many times God removes the people out of our lives that is not supposed to be there. That ex boyfriend may have been blocking the view where you couldn't see or recognize
Stan from work who has been trying to get your attention for years. Go and enjoy yourself with Stan and see where it may lead. Remember don't use Stan as a rebound or to make your ex jealous. You are still trying to get over a breakup and your heart is still mending. Let Stan know that you want to take things slow as friends.

Do things to keep in shape...breakups or known to put pounds on you or mess around with your self esteem. Try a different hairstyle, buy some new attractive clothes and don't pass up that party your friends are going to next Friday night. Go to Jamaica with your friends for two weeks when you get time off from work in the summer and wear that new swimsuit on the beach. Kick up your heels at the nightclub...just remember not to drink nor drown your
sorrows with alcohol. Some Men have been known to take advantage of women who are drunk and heartbroken over some guy.

Don't go off with some guy because you need to see if you still have it or you need the comforts of a man. Prayer works when you need comfort and the Lord's comfort is better than any man you'll ever meet.

If your ex hasn't called you in months and all of a sudden out of the blue after ten months he or she has called, it could be because it has not worked out with the new person they are seeing and they are looking to get back together with you... you are familiar territory and they know that by now they figure you are desparate and will take them back after this long period of time away from each other. You will be hurt again if things eventually work out with the other person they left you for or they find someone else they prefer to be with and dump you all over again.
You would be better off eating your own vomit than returning to someone who is only going to hurt and use you again to pass the time.

You might find yourself waiting and waiting for years for a new love to come into your life while your ex has found someone and married not long after your breakup. Consider yourself blessed that you did not end up with this fly by night person. Someone special has been hand picked for you by God and when you release all of your own matchmaking skills that you have for yourself up to God who has a guaranteed matchmaking skill, you will be in a relationship as soon as God sees that it is time and that you and your new love will be ready and mature enough to handle such a real and true relationship.


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