How do you tactfully handle friends and/or relatives who verbally discipline your children in your presence?
How I handle "helpful' relatives
It can really be a pain, espcially at family gathering, where 'words of wisdoms' are dropped upon you like a hailstone. There are a few ways that I tackle this issue
1. If the person is giving sound advice and it sounds reasonable(something that I would tell my child myself) I will ask my child to try to head the advice.
2. If the person is someone who is very careless in her speach and doesn't know that she is unintentionally doing something which I disapprove . I will extract myself and my children away from the environment with a polite excuse. While being away from the person's earshot I would let my child know that that particular adult wasn't being nice and said things that were not appropriate. If my child was feeling that the words were uncounted for I would explain to him that sometimes Adults too don't know how to express themselves nicely. That particular Aunt was only trying her best to show her concern for him but the words didn't come out right.
3. If that particular person is all out to be nasty. I would firstly ask my child how he felt and if he agreed with what she said. If he is showing signs of being upset or getting into a tantrum over it. I would tell her to leave him alone and even "shut up". He is my child and I will educate him the way I feel best fit and not to interfere. Taking my children out of that situation would be my 1st prority and to ensure that he is mentally alright. I personally wouldn't be too bothered if my relationship with such a relative becomes more strained due to me putting my foot down to her intereference. After all , mum knows best and my children's well- being is of the most importance to me.
I feel that it is important that my children know that not all adults know best and it is through personal experience and trial and error that us, the mother, is able to know what is most suitable and the best way to guide/groom our child.
- From Dominique's Desk
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