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Does Age matter in Relationships

Updated on May 2, 2015

A Social Animal

Man is a social animal and the connection are essential for the well being of this human, to survive on this planet.

A Relationship

A connection is defined as a friendship or a partnership between two individuals, where age does not matter in a relationship because it could be between a parent and a child or between two school going children.

A relationship of love, emotions, and needs could also arise between two adolescents or adults.

Nature of Relationships

Various names are given to the nature of relationships; a person develops and builds during his tenure on this planet.

An Ethical relationship is seen between a mother, and a child where the care is unconditional. This kind of relationship is also seen between two adults who are sexual partners. Honesty is the foundation of this relationship. Any two humans, who are grounded and show respect for each other can be in such a relationship irrespective of age.

An Intimate relationship is generally shared between two adults who need physical and emotional intimacy. Such a relationship helps in fulfilling the physical and sexual activity between people and helps maintain a deep emotional chord between them. This kind of relationship gives strength to each other.

An Interpersonal relationship occurs when two individuals interact with their emotions. Such a relationship could occur with friends, family, co-workers, strangers, with doctors or with clients in a business. Clarity and effective communication are the key to the success of this relationship.

Amongst all kind of relationships, an affiliation of two adults with a wide age difference is challenging. However, man is known to defy this situation and many successful relationships are known to us that have come out in public and declared their love.

“Age is only a state of mind.
You are as young as you think.”
Lailah Gifty Akita, Beautiful Quotes

“My age makes him nervous and shamey, cause his eyes keep heading southwards and then back up, guilty. I can tell I can make his eyes swirl and that's just about all I want to do.”
Andrea Portes, Hick

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves. Mahatma Gandhi quotes

Many of us are at the metallic age - Gold in our teeth, silver in our hair - and lead in our pants. Unknown quotes

A relationship where there is a BIG AGE difference

Our Society has issues when there is a significant age difference in a couple who have an intimate relationship since; they feel that the person is in for sex or for money.

There are many challenges when two individuals are in such a relationship, and they have to learn to deal with negative attention and absorb judgmental comments from the society. These kinds of comments should not deter their relationship, and they should have no doubts between each other. Showing their love and compassion in public will gradually inhibit the society from making nasty comments and learn to accept them.

Challenges amongst them as a couple

A couple, which has a significant age difference, will have to discuss some issues between them that arise such as:

  • Views on different aspect could also be an issue since there is an immense mental age gap. Try to come to a mutual understanding and be tolerant to each others' thoughts. Technically life would be thrilling for them since they are exposed to different approaches to tackle a single problem. Each day would be a learning experience for the couple if they are open to suggestions and absorb it well with no egos attached.
  • Having children and thinking of alternatives about their upbringing if the aged partner passes away. Since Aging cannot be reversed finding, a solution would be wise; if the issue crops up, the other partner is strong on dealing with it and does not get flustered.


We are innovative and rare species, but we need each other’s company to pace each day, however; choice is ours to make, what name we give to each relationship we develop with each person we meet.

Every alliance has some ground rules for its success. We have to be aware of adjectives such as Honesty, Trust, Loyalty, and communication and we have to learn to Give first and then expect anything back from the person in any of the above relationships. That is the solid foundation for any kind of relationship to succeed.


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    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 

      6 years ago from Lagos

      Great piece and enjoyed all the comment(s) and experiences herein.

      Well, I'd believe age †Φ be mere number. Personally, it is not a problem as far as true love exist in the relationship.

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools Hogg 

      6 years ago from North-East UK

      I am married to someone 3 years younger and even now I'll mention things I watched on TV when I was young and he just looks clueless! Who'd think that sometimes only 3 years would make such a difference. I have dated older and younger but if you fall in love, that's it! I think having things in common must be harder when there's a big age difference? I always think this when I see much older men with much younger women, my husband says "those blokes are not interested in the conversation!" That shut me up :o)

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 

      6 years ago from Singapore

      The couple would have to work out their different perspectives on things....that mental age gap is there too. I think that's the biggest hurdle to get over. Thanks for sharing!

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 

      6 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Very interesting hub. I think that society is more accepting of a significant age difference if the man is older and the woman, younger. I haven't seen as much acceptance in relationships with the opposite. I can’t help but wonder why.

    • Ruchira profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from United States

      Thank you Cyndi, Lovedoctor, Ishwaryaa, Rambansaljee, Rajan, Shampa, PeoplePower for your precious input. I am glad you agree with the above.

      Paul--Inter-racial relationship can also be tackled if there is mutual understanding between them. It is the understanding that matters. cheers!

      Frank--Same age matters for some while some prefer a few years of age difference. I also have a few years of age difference with my spouse but it is the understanding that matters. cheers!

    • Lipnancy profile image

      Nancy Yager 

      6 years ago from Hamburg, New York

      I think it depends on the kind of relationship when age factors in. I feel that I can maintain friendships with people in their 20's and their 90's. But as far as a partner in life, I prefer one my age who has shared my experiences.

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 

      6 years ago from Upstate, New York

      I'm reminded of the true and very old saying "Age is nothing but a number" and I apply that to relationships as well.

    • Indian Chef profile image

      Indian Chef 

      6 years ago from New Delhi India

      Well I don't think age matters in any other relationship except intimate relationship. I feel too much difference in age between man and woman can be dangerous to relationship after sometime because say if difference is 20 years then while youth might want something and older one might have different needs and capablities.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      I voted this one way up! I am just a few months older than my hubby (that's not much -- but still!) and we enjoy teasing each other about that in our relationship at times. Great thoughts on this topic. I think Jones and Douglas look happy together and have managed to conquer the age barrier.

    • tlmcgaa70 profile image


      6 years ago from south dakota, usa

      ty lovedoctor...i think i will send this friend this article....perhaps it and the comments will help her.

    • fpherj48 profile image


      6 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Gauging strictly on a personal level, Ruchira, in my dating days ( 100 years ago!)....I dated younger, older as well as men my age. Again, in my case, I found men more than 10 years my senior to be dull, boring and void of adventure. Those my age were fun and comfortable to be with, but I had the best relationships with guys who were 6 to 9 years my junior. (probably because I had a "wild streak" when younger) much information!!

      The love of my life and 1st husband, whom I tragically lost at a young age, was 5 years older than I was........My 2nd husband, who was ultimately kicked to the curb for numerous reasons...was 5 years younger than I was..............My very sweet and special No 3 hubby is 7 years older. Come to think of it....I've been all over this age thing!!

      Great hub, Ruchira. You always entertain me!.....UP+++

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Ruchira, I hope that you don't mind me adding something to this hub.

      @ tlmcgaa70, The woman loves this man and can't bring herself to accept his proposal because of her fear that he might die first. I think another one of her fears is not being accepted by the man's children. Since she is 42 and he is 70, I'm thinking that the kids are worried that the woman is only in it for the money. They probably don't want their daddy with another woman. This is going to be challenging for her, but if she really loves this man, she is going to have to try to win his children's love and affection. Once she proves herself to them and they see that she has good intentions and that their daddy is happy, they will be more accepting and if they're not, well then they're just going to have to deal with it. I agree with your view on love. As for me, I would say five years older or younger depending on the guy's maturity level.

    • tlmcgaa70 profile image


      6 years ago from south dakota, usa

      i know 2 people who love each other, but the man is 70 and the woman 42. the mans children, especially the daughter frown big time on their "friendship". the woman doesn't wish to commit to marriage because she is deeply afraid he will die first, even tho he looks and acts like a man half his age. she is also afraid she would be using him or taking advantage of him. i try to tell her that when both partners love each other equally, there is no using...using is only if one person takes while the other gives. if both give and take equally there is no using. i also told her that she could just as easily die before he does. she knows all this is true but cannot bring herself to accept his proposal. i fear they are two people destined for heartache and misery.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      6 years ago from Shelton

      interesting Ruch.. I always thought .. meet someone your own age.. you'll have so much in common.. hmmm great hub :)

    • peoplepower73 profile image

      Mike Russo 

      6 years ago from Placentia California

      You bring up a good point about how society accepts age differences. But age is just a relative number. The main factor is what do these people have in common and not in common? For the not in common part, how well does the non-common part complement their relationship and how well can they adjust and adapt to their differences. Well written article, voting up, interesting and sharing.

    • shampa sadhya profile image

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Voted up and interesting!

      You have nicely presented this article. It is true that age cannot be a bar in any relationship. What matters is the understanding between the two people in any type of relationship. Those who give importance to the 'age' factor I believe they never open up completely as a person in any type of his/her relationship. In this present age we see many parents are the best friends of their children. This becomes possible only because the parents mingle with their children irrespective of their age and related connection. This brings in a positive vibe. So why can't the matured couples enjoy a strong relationship irrespective of age? Only one element is required to make such relationships work is 'understanding between the couples' and everything will be fine.

      As usual a very good article. Sharing and pinning!

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 

      6 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

      Ruchira, you have neglected to list the interracial relationships which we see a lot of today. In many conservative places of the world, they are still frowned upon. When you couple an interracial relationship with a relationship with a great age difference, you really can experience a challenge! Voted up as interesting and useful and sharing.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 

      6 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA.

      Ruchira, you have pointed out all the crucial factors that need to be mutually taken care of for a relationship to last a lifetime. Age is no factor if the couple have no issues with it.

      Well written and concise. Voted up.

    • rambansal profile image

      Ram Bansal 

      6 years ago from India

      Age matters in a relationship both on long as well as short term basis. Still, there can't be any rigid rules.

    • ishwaryaa22 profile image

      Ishwaryaa Dhandapani 

      6 years ago from Chennai, India

      A sensible and wisely-written hub! Age is just a number and what matters in relationship are honesty, loyalty, trust, communication (just as you mentioned) and above all, happiness and togetherness!

      Thanks for SHARING. Useful & Interesting. Voted up & shared

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Good points. much food for thought. People will always talk about you. Might as well give them something to talk about! Lol. Voted up interesting & useful.

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Calhoun 

      6 years ago from Western NC

      Hehe, my parents flipped out when they found out my then-boyfriend (now husband) were 11 years apart. But, we've been happily married for 11 years, so it's all good! LOL. Wonderful hub!


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