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How long should I wait before getting married to my boyfriend or girlfriend? Reasons why it pays to wait

Updated on June 16, 2012

As relationships blossom, couples look forward to taking the next big step. But how long should you wait before getting married to your partner? There may be couples who live happily married despite tying the knot within the first few months of courtship. But it generally makes more sense to wait longer before deciding to get married to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Here are reasons why you should wait at least 6 months before committing for life.

Your partner's friends will give you a peak inside his/her personality and past.
Your partner's friends will give you a peak inside his/her personality and past.

1) You will get to know all your partner's friends

They say that a person's friends speak a lot about his/her character. That's because we all generally chose likeminded people to hang out with. Similar interests are also found amongst friends. So it makes it a lot easier to find out what kind of person your boyfriend or girlfriend is really like, if you get to know all his/her best friends and close acquaintances.

Once you spend at least 6 months with your partner, you are likely to get a fair idea of almost all the friends that he/she keeps in touch with. And by judging the ways of your partner's acquaintances, you should be able to get a strong grip over the kind of person he/she really is.

2) You will find out all your partner's bad habits and vices

It is human nature to try and hide bad habits when we are trying to impress someone, and chances are, that you have done the same when your relationship began. To judge a person completely, you need to know what kind of bad habits and vices he/she has.

A minimum of 6 months should be enough for you to find out your girlfriend or boyfriend's bad habits and vices, if any. So once you actually decide to get married, there are no surprises in store for you. These habits may include something as miniscule as the habit of procrastination to something as serious as alcohol addiction.

3) You will find out more about your partner's income, earning levels and financial stability

It pains to talk about money when it comes to discussing marriage, a blissful union to two individuals. However it would only be practical to figure out where your partner stands from a financial viewpoint before you decide to stick with him/her for life.

6 months or more should be enough for you to judge your girlfriend or boyfriend's income levels and overall financial stability. You will also be able to appropriately gauge the strata of income that you as a couple are likely to fall under. While all this finance talk may seem too boring and unromantic, in the 21st century it pays to be well informed. After all, the last thing you want to be worried about after your marriage is saving your partner from bankruptcy, don't you think?

Lack of sex can take a heavy toll on a marriage. Adultery, extramarital affairs and infidelity are the major causes for divorces. Gauge your sexual compatibility with your partner before you decide to get married.
Lack of sex can take a heavy toll on a marriage. Adultery, extramarital affairs and infidelity are the major causes for divorces. Gauge your sexual compatibility with your partner before you decide to get married.

4) You will get to know your sexual compatibility with your boyfriend or girlfriend

Without a doubt, physical intimacy and naughty sessions seem heavenly during the first month or two of a relationship. But what is more important is whether a couple can sustain this excitement in the long run, or not. Sexual compatibility plays a very important role in the stability of a married couple's lives and lack of sex is a major cause for divorces.

The months you have spent with him/her should be enough time for you to judge whether you are compatible with your partner in bed. There is no exact answer to the question, how long you should wait before getting married, when it comes to sexual compatibility. But would it be safe to assume that in 6 months you've got enough action to form a judgment?

5) You will find out how your partner really treats you

Your girlfriend or boyfriend may have been hot and charming during the initial phase of your relationship. From fun dates to quirky dates and from romantic evenings to lovely treats, your partner may have put up impeccable behavior when you first started going out. However that can change once you and your partner reach increased levels of familiarity and comfort.

Once you have been in a relationship with your partner for at least 6 months, you should be able to see beyond the facade that your partner may have put up to impress you in the early stages of your relationship. This time period will be vital for you to find out how he/she really treats you when there is no more impressing to be done. From arguments to fights, both of you will get a taste of living life as a couple and slowly, time will reveal his/her true personality.

6) You will find out your partner's likes and dislikes

We all have certain things that we love to like and some that we love to hate. And based on someone's likes and dislikes, we may very well form an opinion about their personality and character. So how long should you wait before getting married to your girlfriend or boyfriend?

It is virtually impossible to know anyone's likes and dislikes in a matter of few weeks or months. Then again, there are no guarantees that you will find out all your partner's whims and fancies in even 6 months. However the more time you spend with your partner, the more you will get to know about his/her quirky likes and annoying dislikes. So wait until you have got the full picture of what lies ahead before you commit.

Before you take the final call, ask yourself "Is he/she the kind of person I see myself settling down with, for the rest of my life?"
Before you take the final call, ask yourself "Is he/she the kind of person I see myself settling down with, for the rest of my life?" | Source

7) You will find out if your partner matches your expectations in a husband

From friends to work colleagues to family members to partners, we have expectations from virtually everyone around us. And the same applies to your boyfriend or girlfriend too. Before you decide that you want to get married to him/her, you must test the waters and see if he/she is what you expected in a husband.

We all make compromises but if you think that the current blooming phase of your relationship is making you take the wrong decision in choosing a life partner, maybe you need to postpone your marriage plans. 6 stable months in a relationship should suffice for you to match at least the basic requirements that you look for in a life partner, with your current boyfriend or girlfriend.

8) You will find out if your partner is really willing to compromise

The word compromise may sound boring, but the reality of life is that there is a lot of compromise involved in the life of a married couple. When two distinct individuals decide to share the same living space, they are bound to be required to make compromises. If there was a prime example of the phrase 'Easier said than done', this would be it.

Compromise may be about giving up certain diehard habits that may have been cultivated since childhood. It may even mean adjusting one's own tolerance levels to accommodate a partner's annoying yet harmless idiosyncrasies. Use the courtship period of your relationship to judge if your partner is willing to make compromises in his/her lifestyle. Additionally, you will be able to gauge the amount of compromise you will need to make too.


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    • carladominique profile image

      Carla Dominique 

      6 years ago from Philippines

      Waiting for some good reasons is fine. though if you are really into settling down, you should keep in mind that it is already a lifetime commitment.

    • dotty1 profile image


      6 years ago from In my world

      Really enjoyed this hub, was interesting... however I do believe if a man wants to marry u he will not matter how long you have been together....and the ones who wait and wait and wait...are often waiting for something better than you


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