How to Approach and Date a Chinese Woman Online
A Concise Guide to Dating Chinese Women Online
The First Email You Send Her
You want to know about her; and to give her a good impression of you. Right?
So the single most important point at this stage is to keep your English as simple as possible.
You can't write Chinese . . . correct? So don't expect her to understand long complicated sentences in English! Use only simple words and only short sentences. Don't use slang, dialect, jokes or colloquial expressions. She can learn all that later . . . when you learn Chinese (just kidding).
Start the email to her with her first name – and be sure to spell it correctly! (Can be confusing as, in China, the surname is written before the first name).
Use the information in her profile to compliment her and to explain why you are interested in her.
Tell her (simply!) about yourself: be sincere and open.
Reassure her by showing you have read a bit about Chinese culture and etiquette (you have, haven't you?) Show some interest in - and respect for - her Chinese culture.
To help find out if this woman is your “Mrs Right”, you'll need to ask her some questions. Perhaps including:
- Why are you looking for a Western husband/partner?
- Does your family approve?
- What things are important to you in a relationship?
- What do you expect from your future husband/partner?
- What do you offer your future husband/partner?
- What are your priorities in life?
As Your Friendship Grows
As your friendship grows and deepens it is important that you keep in daily communication. This could be through a dating website, by private email, or by phone (cheap calling through Skype or Sipgate).
It is important to a Chinese lady that you let her know she is always on your mind. Long distance relationships can easily fail if she is not reassured that you care for her. Speak to each other about what’s going on in your day to day lives. It will make you feel closer to one another. Try to show her you care for her by complimenting her and telling her that you do. Sometimes send a gift to show her your dedication. Flowers and love notes are a perfect gift. Show commitment to one another and talk about future plans.Building a solid foundation takes time: but it is time well-spent - the better you get to know each other the more likely the relationship will last in the long term.
How Do I Court a Chinese Lady
As with all aspects of life, dating varies enormously across the cultures. To help you overcome the cultural barrier with as little confusion as possible on either side, here are ten helpful tips of what to expect.
Whilst this list is not exhaustive, they will help you along the right track to a lasting relationship.
Essential TIps for Courting a Chinese Girl.
- Many Chinese ladies are very shy during dating and prefer that you do the chasing. However make sure you do reply the same day if they do email you first.
- She will ask about your age, health and family. In China these are not private matters.
- She will ask about your financial status and your income. Don't think of this as mercenary or rude. Unlike in the West, in China a person's wealth is neither a big secret nor your private matter. Security is very important to most ladies worldwide: the Chinese are just more direct in asking! Good financial status reassures!
- As education is highly thought of in China, expect her to be very interested in your education level. Should she speak good English, this means she is well educated. Be aware though that emails you receive in English may have been translated for her.
- If her English isn’t good, speak to her in Chinese. Can't do that? Then don't look down on her attempts in English. Help her practice, be patient and encouraging. She will pick it up very quickly. Learn a few Chinese phrases yourself. Learning 100 common words isn't that hard and is a great politeness towards her. She will highly appreciate your effort and it's amazing how just a few phrases build intimacy and help conversations along.
- The Chinese do not lightly say “I love you”. At first, her signs of affection will be more indirect. For example they will demonstrate their feelings by being immaculately dressed / made up and by striving to look after you. They will try very hard to ensure your home, health, clothes and food are perfect.
- When you plan your first meeting, be aware that most Chinese women do not drink (or only the occasional glass). So asking her to dinner or a show may be less awkward than going for a drink.
- Men are expected to pay for dinners; indeed all expenses when courting. It's a sign of respect which remains a common tradition through most Eastern cultures.
- Lastly, and most importantly, Chinese women are interested in finding a secure future with someone who is respectful them and their family. Don't expect "casual flings".
Me with my Partner Shuang
Speaking From Experience
Although I am a westerner I live much of my life in Shenzhen, China with my partner Shuang who is Chinese. Having been through the internet dating process ourselves, which was how we met each other, we possess a great knowledge of how other web sites operate and, although there are some excellent sites, there are also a higher percentage of poor quality sites.
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