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How to Be Single and Satisfied

Updated on July 7, 2015

Single and Satisfied

Many of us tend to assume single people are missing out on something.
But in our misguided desire to play matchmaker, could we be going against God's Word?

It's true the Bible honors marriage.

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).

Yet nowhere does it say being single is something less than normal, desirable, or incomplete. It says the exact opposite, praising single-hood. There are many prominent characters featured in the Bible who were single, or widowed. There were Elijah, Daniel, John the Baptist, Jeremiah, Paul and Barnabas, not to mention Jesus. There were also godly widows like Naomi, and Anna who was 84 years old when the baby Jesus was dedicated in the Temple.

The Bible teaches Christian singles can have a singular devotion to Jesus Christ, thus having an advantage over their married counterparts. They can focus totally on the things of God. This single focus can result in greater happiness for singles as they are not distracted by marital obligations and issues.

It is possible to enjoy being single, but that doesn't mean you won't ever get married. Know that God is in control and knows what is best for you. Enjoy being single, it doesn't mean it will last forever. It's just your state for the moment.

Perhaps one of the greatest fears single Christians face is that of being alone. We fear growing old, sick and lonely. The idea of not finding a lifelong relationship is a very real fear. The mistaken belief singleness equals rejection can lead to insecurity and depression. It may help to remember Jesus was single, and although He wasn't married, He had many friends.

Unfortunately, society tells single people:

  • They’re incomplete without a partner.

  • Restraining from sex can be damaging and repressive.

  • People need to be married to be happy.

The consequences are, Christian singles can feel like failures. And we must remember the sacrifice made by singles isn't merely giving up sex. They are also giving up the opportunity to have offspring of their own. There can be no greater sacrifice in this earthly world.

Many singles act as if being single is like having a disease. However, if we look at Adam, we see him going about his life in the Garden of Eden doing what God told him to do. At first, he had no one. It wasn't until God said he needed a helper he realized he was alone. This demonstrates, as singles we should have our focus on what God has called us to do.

When we marry we divide time between our spouse and God's calling. Singleness is our opportunity to develop character. What does the Bible have to say about being single? And how are we to understand God has designed the relationship of marriage to be the most common expression of human life in an intimate social way?

God designed marriage and called it the grace of life, the gift of God for the fulfillment of most people. And marriage is the only relationship in which sexual intimacy can take place at all. But it isn't the only design of God. God said there are those that should remain unmarried.

Unfortunately, many singles feel singleness equals rejection, or society looks upon them as rejects. Being single is not God's second best. Some people find great fulfillment in being married, others in being single.

So, man and woman have a purpose in living; to populate the created world and rule over it. All of this has been completed. The world is now populated and it's no longer necessary for everybody to be in a marriage relationship.

Singleness isn't a condition needing a cure. It's as natural as being married. But contrary to popular opinion, not everyone wants to get married, although it it may seem difficult to be single sometimes. To be happy, it's up to us to take the first step, and that involves eliminating negative thoughts about being single.

A good life begins when you take charge of the situation. All human relationships fall short of fulfilling our needs. We need both companionship and solitude. Not having romance is one thing, but not having any friends is far worse. We don't have to be alone, it's our choice.

Society tells us if we find just the right person then we’ll be happy, and singleness produces loneliness. Singles as well as married couples are faced with the same situation. Actually, there are many single people that aren't lonely, while many married people are. The truth is happiness and contentment can come only from Christ.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      John, Some hubs just cause words to flow from me! :)

      My own hubs are a lot longer than any comment I would write! LOL!

      Thanks for posting a topical article. People do need to realize it's okay to be single. It's not some fatal disease!:)

    • JY3502 profile image

      John Young 2 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

      Do you realize you just wrote another hub? You pointed out views on being single have definitely changed. Thanks for your comments.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      In modern times where pre-marital sex and cohabitation are fairly common it's not all that difficult to happily single.

      In fact according to recent studies it was revealed the average age a person loses their virginity in the U.S. is 17.

      Oddly enough many people engaging in pre-marital sex do consider themselves to be Christians. Albeit (imperfect) Christians.

      Ecclesiastes 7:20

      "For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not."

      Not long ago a question was posed on HP. How do you define single?

      Some people stated it means you're not married, others said it meant you weren't in an "exclusive relationship" with anyone, and still others stated it meant you weren't dating period.

      With regard to official forms and applications anyone who is not married is expected to mark the box "single" with regard to their marital status. This would include those with boy/girlfriends, those dating or cohabitating.

      In the eyes of the law single is a "marital status" not a dating or relationship status.

      Clearly this suggests the word "single" means different things to different people. However as you eloquently noted:

      "We need both companionship and solitude. Not having romance is one thing, but not having any friends is far worse. We don't have to be alone, it's our choice."