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How to Compliment Women

Updated on March 30, 2009

Women won't often admit it, but there's more than a little truth to the saying flattery will get you everywhere. Most of us women are at least a bit vain in one way or another, but even if we're not, we still want to know our man thinks we're fabulous. Sadly, most of you men are quite bad at dishing compliments out, whether because you don't care, or just don't know how to give them without  sounding fake. Let me tell you a secret -- it's really, really easy to compliment us. You don't even need to rehearse! In fact, it's best if you don't, cos if it's not sincere, we won't want to hear it. The following five tips should give you an idea of what women want to hear from the men in their lives, and how often.

1. Be Sincere.

Do not tell a woman she looks like Claudia Schiffer if she (knows she) looks like one of Marge Simpson's sisters. Yes, most of us would love to look like a German supermodel, or even a supermodel from an alien planet -- but we don't want someone to straight out lie to us; especially if that someone happens to be our man. We want you to tell us that we look fabulous, but please don't compare us to other women unless we really do look that good, or better.

2. Know what you are complimenting.

If you tell a woman that something she's wearing makes her look fantastic, she might just turn around and ask you how. If she does, and you stutter for the next five minutes as your brain whirls around in search of an answer, this is going to make it look like you were just feeding her something you thought she wanted to hear. Instead, have a reply on-hand, just in case. If you tell her that her jeans make her look fabulous, a good answer to "How?" could easily be, "Your butt looks good in them," or "Your legs look good in them." A good answer is never going to be, "Ummm... I dunno... does it really matter? Just be happy I gave you a compliment."

3. Be the first to compliment her, not the last.

If your wife, the theater actress, has just come offstage to greet you and your mates, it's not going to over well if they lavish her with compliments and you toss yours on top after they've made their rounds. Be the first to tell her how proud you are of her, or how fantastic she was -- don't be the guy who just says, "What they all said!" at the end. It makes you look like a jerk.

4. Know the difference between reassurance and compliments.

If you and your woman are going out to the opera and she comes downstairs to ask your opinion, she's more likely looking for reassurance than grandiose compliments (unless it's prom night or something, in which case, you probably couldn't overdo it if you tried). If she asks how she looks, tell her she looks great or sexy or fantastic, but you needn't get too specific unless she asks about something specific. A simple, "Honey, you look amazing," will suffice as long as it sounds sincere.

5. Compliment her when she least expects it.

Just because you go through number 4 on a daily basis does not mean you needn't give her proper compliments on a regular basis. I'm not saying you need to flatter her at every opportunity, but offering a compliment when she's not asking for reassurance will get you very big points, because most men tend to only give them when prompted. Tell her she's a fabulous cook or tell her that she smells nice or tell her that she looks beautiful when she's least expecting it, and these compliments will get you more than just brownie points.

  • 6. I love the way your body feels.

  • 7. You have amazing eyes.

  • 8. I love it when you smile.

  • 9. Your voice is so sexy.

  • 10. I love your curves.

A few compliments that work if they're sincere:

  • 1. You smell fantastic.

  • 2. You look amazing.

  • 3. I love your hair like that.

  • 4. Your skin is so soft.

  • 5. I love the way you kiss.


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