How to Cope With Social Exclusion
"When we get to wishing great deals for ourselves, whatever we get soon turns into mere limitation and exclusion." George Elliot.
People do not know hot to treat other people and sometimes in life you will come across one of those "herds."
School can be filled with pressure from peers and in some cases if you do not dress a certain way, behave a certain way or agree with certain people than you can be excluded.
It also happens with people of other races, religions and political views.
Work collegues can also exclude you socially because you do not perform well or you perform too well!
A teacher's pet, a nerd or whatever you are, always remember that people and situations do not define who you are and should you choose to do things differently and get excluded for it, than SO BE IT!
Be who you are, love yourself and true friends will want to be with you.
If there is a school bully than you need to take a stand against them otherwise it will keep on happening. Nobody has the right to hurt you physically or emotionally and if you do not do something about it it could scar you for life.
Bullies are people who have issues and problems of their own and usually when you show that you are not afraid and that they can do you no harm, then they will back off or move on to the next person.
Ideally you should report that person and let someone older than you deal with them. Don't be afraid to take a stand because once the bully has to face the music they usually cowar away!
Defend yourself by making a fool out of the bully and allowing everyone to publicly humiliate them because the chances are that if you are being bullied than someone else is too and nobody likes a bully.
If there is a group of girls at school that are mean by saying horrible things or excluding you because they don't like the look of you than move away from them and avoid being in their presence.
Don't hide from them but get some information that could be useful to you to expose their meanside and humiliate them in front of the entire school. Bring them down to size by showing them that you do not care about what they have to say or do.
Change Your Life
If people at school are not wanting to include you than find a different group that would love to take you in and accept you for who you are without expecting you to change in any way.
Should there be nobody at school to get along with than try to get into a new school for a new start and if you can't do that than get yourself an after - school activity where you can interact with others from different walks of life.
You will meet people who share your interests and accept your beliefs no matter what they are.
1. Take a look at yourself and see if you can identify anything that could be wrong
If you feel that you are excluded socially due to the way you dress or behave than take a good look at yourself and see if there is anything that you find wrong or you are not happy with.
If you are not happy then change and if you feel satisfied with who you are than STAY THAT WAY.
Ask a parent or a friend if they feel that there is something odd about you if you are still unsure.
Take a good look at the people that are exculding you and see if it is worth the hurt and embarresment.
Find out why you are being excluded
It might be that you have been excluded from a specific group because they dress or act in a certain way and they do not feel that you are suited to their group.
If that is the case than you do not want to be a part of their group anyway because shallow people have empty souls and in the long run you will be the one to move forward in life and become everything that you aspire to be.
Those people that stick to the group and change their images or beliefs to suit others in order to be socially included are the ones that will later be left alone and lonely with no real measures of success within themselves.
In the Workplace
There are many ways to keep yourself from being socially excluded at work. Join in the conversations, get active with your group and allow them to see a social side of you.
If it is that they are not interested in having you present than do your job and work as hard as you can to get a promotion and move on up to a higher group.
In the meantime you can join a social club, sports club or anything that involves outside activities away from your work space. You will meet people who will enjoy your company and like you for who you are without feeling threatened.
You don't need to be socially excluded by anyone and it is those that ae excluded that eventually succeed and move on to better things.
Peace of mind is important and if you are not happy in a situation than you need to change it to make your life better.
Look for other job prospects or transfer to a different office if you feel unhappy but always remember that you are important, your opinions matter and you do not need those kind of people in your life anyway!
Unfortunately in life there are all kinds of people. The ones that like you for you no matter where you come from, what you look like or what you have to say and then there are the others that have no moral standing, it's all about image, finance and networking for their benefit.
If you do come from a poor background and you do not have as much as the "yuppies" or you come from a bad suburb or area just remember that this does not define you and no matter where you come from it is up to you to make your life work for you.
For those that have been given everything and do not wish to be around you, just remember that they are not worth it!
Circumstances should not make a difference and you should not have to be socially excluded because of them, so don't let it effect your life in any way.
Move forward, find others that will include you or better yet... Make your own standing in the world where it will be up to you to include others into your circle.
Get friendly with the boss, move up the ladder at work and at some stage you will have the upper hand.
6 Ways to be Socially Included.
Perhaps you are a part of a group and all that excludes you socially is your financial status.
If you do not have a job than find one and if you do have one and you can't keep up socially than find a way to get a second income.
It isn't always as easy as it sounds but if you really want to be a part of something you must be willing to go for it!
1. Host a "bring and barbeque" evening where you invite your friends over to socialise but it costs you nothing but your food and drink because they all get to bring their own.
2. Have a picnic in the park and let all your friends know to meet you there. All you have to do is bring the music!
3. Should you be invited to a formal party than borrow a dress from a friend. Pride is not going to help you in anyway.
4. If all your friends are going to the bar after work, just go with and have a glass of water with lemon in it, nobody will know anything.
5. If there is a holiday planned then ask a friend if you can get a lift with them and if you don't have money to spend there than make a plan to save for the next trip and learn to budget.
6. A work function that you have not been invited to can easily be changed by asking one of your co - workers to take you with as a date.