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How to Date After a Divorce and Get On With Your Life

Updated on July 28, 2013

Dating After a Divorce is Sexy

Divorcees often think that dating after a divorce is dead, but that’s not true. In fact, where divorce ends, dating actually begins. Don’t believe the lie that you can’t have fun, a social life and intimacy because you are divorced. Divorce is not a scarlet letter. Divorcees can and do have as much fun on the single circuit as their single-un-divorced counterparts.

Divorces are not as mean and nasty as they used to be; fifty percent of marriages fail. Of course, everyone hopes their marriage lasts forever, but for 50% of married folks it doesn’t. So, not only are single-un-divorced people on the dating scene so are a bunch of divorcees. Everybody seems to be looking for love. Why not join them?

Get Back on Track: Start Dating Now


Worrying Won't Bring Happiness

Perhaps you are a recent divorcee with kids and you’re worried about child care while dating. Or maybe you’ve been married for a exceedingly long time and have been away from the dating scene for many years, and you’re worried that you won’t know what to do. Don’t worry. It’s natural to be apprehensive. New is different, but different is not impossible. You can learn new things. Here are a few tips to make dating easier for you.

Bitter vs Better

Some divorcees hail from a divorce bitter, but I encourage you to emerge better. Divorce is what it is. There are no wrong or right answers once the ink dries. It’s just over. Both of you have to go on with life because whether you do so or not fate will go on. Wouldn’t it be better if you just embraced the fact that life goes on?

Imagine how much better you’d feel if you were the one with the new romance first. Don’t even think about what your ex is doing or whom he or she is with. This life is your responsibility. You are responsible for your own happiness. Happiness begins when you begin to get better and not bitter. You are not the person you were yesterday, you are the person you are being today. See yourself as beautiful, attractive, happy and free then watch the kind of people you attract.

Play in your hair or watch his stare? Do whatever it takes to bring fun back into your dating life.


Mature & Motivated

Yes, you are mature and motivated. There's no denying it; you've learned a few things while you were married. You know the ropes. While it may not feel that way at first, you are experienced and know exactly what you want and don’t want.

Let’s face it; you’ve been here before. You’ve dated for the right reasons, as well as the wrong reasons. You know what you want in a partner and what you don’t like. Unlike the younger and unmarried, you can avoid the pitfalls of going into a relationship with someone just because he or she looks okay or drives a certain car. You know that looks don’t cook, and cars can be filled with debt and obligations.

What motivated you to date in the past may be different now. Your reasons for getting back on the single circuit may be quite different from years ago. You are different now too. You see things through a new lens. After being married, you may not need to be married any longer. You may just want a companion. You may have thought you wanted Mr. or Ms. Right in the past but now want something else. After all, you’ve been through, and what you’ve experienced you know what you want. Go after that and enjoy the ride.


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    • donnah75 profile image

      Donna Hilbrandt 4 years ago from Upstate New York

      This is a motivational piece that will help many people see through the fog that is around them after divorce. Voted up.

    • rose-the planner profile image

      rose-the planner 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      I know people that have gotten divorced and felt that they would never have a social life again and they would never meet someone they could connect with. I am glad that you wrote this article to let people know that there is indeed life after a breakup. Great article! Thank you for sharing. (Voted Up) -Rose

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      You know, I have to agree with this. I was quite paralyzed at first after my divorce was final some 36 years ago. But I began to date many months later but rarely.

      A most wonderful person happened into my life about a year later and we just 'worked.' We remain friends today and while we did not marry because of circumstances involving my elderly parents who needed care, it is a friendship of a lifetime

      Life truly does not stop with a divorce!!! Thank you for taking the time to gather these thoughts and share them.


      Angels are on the way ps