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How to Deal With a Girlfriend Who is Messy

Updated on September 10, 2009

How to Deal With a Girlfriend Who is Messy

How to Deal With a Girlfriend Who is Messy

So there she is. She so pretty.  You really love your girlfriend.  She is everything in the world to you.  When she looks at you, you melt.  This is real love.  But that is not all.  she is a terrible slob--she smells too.  She makes a bag lady look like a princess.  I am telling you this can really get on one's nerves.  You want to pull your hair out.  Well, I have developed a few ways for you to deal with a girl that does not understand anything about cleaning up after herself.

Here we go...

Let her drown in her own filth.  Well, she doesn't clean up.  You don't clean up.  Eventually it will build up around her.  This will get to a point where it is totally necessary to get her ass into gear and wash a fork or two.  Trust she needs to get to work so she will clear the doorway...at least.  Damn it.

Do something for her.  Say that you will give her a massage if she cleans up the house.  Tell her that it is one massage for ever square inch of the house.  Although this is a lot, it will get the job done.  Everyone will be happy.

Bribe her with sex.  Tell her that you will give her the greatest time of her life in the sack, only if she picks up her crap.  Tell her you will do whatever she wants, even wear that thong she always wanted.  Lose your dignity, but gain a clean house and mind.

Bribe her with money.  Tell her you will give her a million dollars...okay...10 bucks if she cleans the house.  She can go out and buy more crap to store in the house.  Hm....choose this idea wisely.

Ask her to clean up.  Maybe you can just ask her to clean up.  Say something like, "Honey, the house is getting a little dirty.  Do you think you can clean it up?"  If she doesn't do it after you ask her like that try something like this:  "Honey, can you please pick up your ***king *hit.  You are really pissing me off!"  Followed with an "I love you!" Which brings me to my next point.

Threaten to Kick Her Out.  When all else fails, tell her that if she does not clean up her act, you want her out of the house.  If she understands this, you will see a change in the environment.  So clean!  If this fails...

Kick her out. Enough said.

These were a few pointers on how you can deal with a messy girlfriend.  Stand up for yourself.  Do not let your girlfriend bury you under her crap.  Save yourself because there is no one out there that will want to help you--not even your girlfriend.  See you.


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