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How to Deal with Unfaithfulness in a Marriage

Updated on November 30, 2010

Many couples think that if their spouse is ever unfaithful to them that will be the end of there marriage. Although this type of behavior is a natural response many factors are not taken into consideration. They will put up the house for sale and run to the lawyers immediately.  Unfortunately, it is not as easy as it sounds.  Especially if there are children involved. There are many aspects to look at and in the long run you have to weigh out your options.

First of all was it a one-time thing and are you willing to forgive?  This is what you have to look at.  Marriage counseling is a good start. Find a marriage counselor or therapist.  Even if you still don’t know what you want to do this is essential and will be beneficial.  A marriage therapist can help you look at things from a different perspective and help you communicate with each other instead of just yelling.  They can help you resolve issues without blaming.

Keep children out of it until you have made a decision. Even though, it is not usually a good idea to hide things from children, taking away respect away from a parent by yelling about what happen is also not a responsible decision.  Always try not to put children in a position where they feel they have to choose sides.  It is unhealthy for their mental well-being. It also can affect choices they make in choosing partners in the future.

Go to a lawyer to check out options such as custody and child support.  It won’t hurt to have some facts and knowledge about the legalities of your situation.  Knowing more about your options can also be help in coming to a decision. 

Educate yourself by reading books on how to heal marriages, how divorce effects children, how divorce will effect yourself as well.  There are many important aspects of divorce that are much harder to deal with then forgiving a spouse.


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    • dawnM profile image

      Dawn Michael 7 years ago from THOUSAND OAKS

      Hi dandilionweeds, I would have to say that marriage takes two and I think that you are correct, if it is a onetime thing, try and look at the reasons why the spouse went outside of the marriage to begin with? That is really the first question I ask. Many times a spouse is very unhappy and instead of doing the right thing and getting counseling beforehand they will have an affair, but it does take two in a marriage and when there are children involved I could not agree more, get help and see if the marriage can be repaired if not get help so that ether the kids can got through the divorce with a third party to talk too and help them get through it.