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How to Develop the Ability to Love

Updated on April 7, 2018
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

Love is an ability

  • How to develop the ability to love?

You can love unconditionally, abundantly, and unreservedly.

To love in this way, your consciousness is expanded, and your life changes and with the people around you.

  • One who loves actively meaning to love with a greater mind?

Active love fills you with a capacity of love.

​Active love is developed with practice as I learned of the people around me.

I realized love is ability.

I found a deeper understanding of love in this way, and I discovered people are able to love but don’t show it.

To experience a genuine sense of love you need to forgive and be compassionate with one another.

You need to be a loving and caring person to have a sense of love.

​When you love unconditionally, it doesn’t mean you should be the better or the good person, but to set free that someone from their previous suffering.

​In other words, you are removing that person from their obstacles.

Be positive and love unconditionally when you are ready for that love.

This makes you heal the other from suffering and yourself too.

Be responsible and be open in your mind about love.

To love someone show love to that person.

  • Avoid criticism!

You are successful that doesn’t mean you should put down the other person.

​The denial of unconditional love imprisons your soul.

  • For example:

You curse at other people and in you’re mind you feeling for those persons.

In your mind you want to free that person from their misery but you don’t show it.

You can show your true being by showing love for those who hurt.

Some behaviors are shown indifferently.

Behaviors concerning violence shows hate and aggression, this is where you would find absence of love.

The love that is neither recognized nor demonstrated.

Practice love to give freedom to you and other people.

  • Where does the Ability of love start?

Everything you learn is from childhood including the ability of love.

You begin to love at home.

Love comes from your parents.

Love and affection is the first learned from your mother.

This is understood and learned before any other language.

When older you learn of how to love and be affectionate to other people.

Your childhood experiences affects the adult you become and this is how you learn about love.

If you are or were that unloved infant don’t stress that part of your life when an adult.

You can still become loyal, and feel loved and love another being after bad experiences.

Be committed and search for your idols.

  • Are you a lovable person?

Painful childhood experiences can lead to insecurities in your adulthood.

Such attitudes allows for unhealthy relationships, jealous minds, addictions, possessiveness, or abuse.

Have a free spirited mind by letting go of bad experiences from the past.

Show you are worthy of love and could be loved back too.

Loving parents hug their children and show them love confidently.

You must be able to love and receive love.

People become broken up physically, and mentally due to the lack of love from their parents.

  • Why do you lose the ability to love?

Those moments when you feel you have had enough in your relationship and have love and have lost love.

You just no longer want to be in love with that person anymore.

  • Is that hard to believe?

  • Why the ability of love is fading?

The lack of honesty ruins any relationship.

You need to be honest with one another at all times.

  • Why do you want to hold a secret from your partner, an emotion, or an idea?

Work as a team not against each other.

Be open to your partner about your thoughts and ideas.

Living in the past is another problem with many relationships.

One of the reasons in a poor relationship is when you constantly bring up the past.

Interest fades in a relationship and so does love.

  • If there is no happiness in a relationship how can you still love each other?

Insecurities destroy a relationship.

Some couples don’t speak for days over an argument that means you must leave that relationship.

A reason to fall out of love is when you ignore your partner and stop talking normally.

You lack love, and understanding with your partner.

Love is no longer there for you and need to let go and leave that relationship.

A silent partner is not your partner.

When communication is dead and everything else dies too.

An individual can lose the will to love but not the ability to love.

You learn to practice the will to love and nurture another being over time.

No human can lose the ability to love unless you no longer are alive.

You love too much and care too much and suddenly you lose it all.

Some people confuse love with desperation.

You allow your partner to abuse and betray your trust. To be left alone while your partner goes out with friends.

  • Eventually he dumps you and you wonder what happened?

You had love and had lost the ability to love due to a bad experience.

  • Do you think you lost the ability to love again?

You can’t lose the ability to love if you never had it. Though you can restart your life and love again.

  • Are you insecure to be emotionally attached to another?

The negative stands more than the positive experiences.

Love is to have and to experience in your life time not in a split second.

Modern day version of love is a lack of togetherness.

When you feel sad, or have an issue you right away go for an alcohol drink, and have more than you should for the night.

A way to deal with pain, but you don't think of love because you replace love with substances.

Most individuals use drugs and alcohol to feel good again, and don't give love a second thought.

It is with such behaviors that you tend to lack the true meaning of love.

It is sad for such individuals to use substances to replace love in their lives

You feel more alone when you sleep around, and don’t see how you are hurting yourself.

Why feel you are nothing without the other, when you are everything you could ever be when you are with the best people?

Dating is not like in the past. You don’t have to date just for the sake of dating.

So much has changed that dating has become a favorite sport and a pastime.

  • Is it hard to find someone to love and to be loved?

Promises are empty!

Your needs and wants are more important than what your relationship needs.

Don’t look for perfection in others or yourself!

Connect with love through your partner that will show you more love.

You have faith, love, and hope but without love you are not worthy.

Bonding with family before bonding with a partner is an important factor.

Sometimes the heart doesn’t open to love immediately.

I felt that way after my dog died.

I didn’t want another pet for a decade then I opened up to love a pet again.

Love for your partner changes over time.

Your partner is attracted to you and you to them but love is not an instant ability. It slowly builds up and for one partner or for both partners.

One partner has the ability to love while the other needs time to do that.

Love and be loved

Love is an Ability

The ability to love again

Do you have the ability to love again?

See results


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    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      11 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      hi Marlene thank you for sharing your view on love.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 

      11 months ago from USA

      Love is something we all need. Loving unconditionally is the key. I really enjoyed reading the ideas you shared here. Lots of love to you Devika.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Nell Rose, thank you

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      13 months ago from England

      Came back for another read, and shared!

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      14 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello Mike and Dorothy. After a bad break up most partners think the worst of loving in love again. Love requires practice if not continuously active couples tend to drift apart and sadly experience this in new relationships. I appreciate your kind comment and thank you for sharing your experience. I wish you and hubby a happy and loved married. Of loving or falling in love again is what I meant to say.

    • Casey White profile image

      Mike and Dorothy McKenney 

      14 months ago from United States

      I can tell from your writing that you are a wonderful, caring person. This particular article appealed to me because Mike and I got married in 1980, but divorced in about 1985. A few years later, he married a wonderful woman and was married to her for 27 years. When she died, I contacted Mike and we got back together and are very happily married now. Thanks for such a beautiful article and I look forward to reading all of yours.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      14 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Nithya Venkat Thank you for a kind comment. Love makes one happy or confused. Being able to love another after any mishap is a great part of us.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 

      14 months ago from Dubai

      Beautifully written, enjoyed reading. I believe love adds a brilliant sparkle to life and makes life worth living. Without love this world would be a an empty place bereft of emotions and feeling.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      14 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Marlene Bertrand, thank you for the kind comment.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 

      14 months ago from USA

      Excellent coverage of an important topic. You make a wonderful life coach on the subject of love.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      14 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Nell Rose, thank you kindly for comments. I too, have love from childhood something I never missed in my family.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      14 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Yves, I am glad you feel this way about this title. I appreciate your encouraging comment. Thank you.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      14 months ago from England

      Love is a strange thing if you think about it. love and trust are another. I was lucky in my upbringing, there was nothing in my family that would stop love, we all loved unconditionally.

    • savvydating profile image


      14 months ago

      Devika, you've covered this topic splendidly. Having the ability to love really does start in childhood. But if we didn't get love in the beginning, there are methods for attaining the ability to love, as you pointed out.

      However, it can be an uphill battle.

      Lovely hub, my dear!

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      14 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Dora thank you for sharing that. I appreciate your comment. Hope all is well with you?

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      14 months ago from The Caribbean

      Devika, love is a very important topic, and you give us reason to question ourselves and make sure that we're on the right track. Thank you.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      14 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Linda Crampton love helps us in all times. Thank you.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      14 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Thank you Flourish Anyway. I appreciate your support.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      14 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Michael- Milec thank you for sharing your comment. No one should quit loving another.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 

      14 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

      True love is a wonderful thing. We need more of it in the world.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image


      14 months ago from USA

      We all need to spread more love to those around us.

    • Michael-Milec profile image


      14 months ago

      A key word you’ve given “with one another. “ Love is a power and ability of giving,- giving where there is willingness to receive, enjoy, benefit. Rejected- not received love is un-effective as if none-existing, even if it would be "unconditional" love. Thus " Gift" - Love in its substantiative response receiving creates continually - never stops "giving-loving'' because in giving "Love" is endless source one just can not stop loving.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      14 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Chitrangada thank you very much for comments. A topic that needs the attention.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      14 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Bill Holland I found this topic fascinating and most interesting to figure out about love at this time of life. Thank you

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      14 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Eric Dierker, thank you very much for commenting.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      14 months ago from New Delhi, India

      Nice and interesting article and you have touched many points.

      A person with a loving heart, has the ability to love again. That’s what I believe.

      Thanks for sharing. It was an interesting read!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      14 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Such a huge topic for one article. Learning to love....your reflections on this are quite interesting and leave me pondering my past. Nurture vs nature....

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Quite interesting. Love is where it is at for sure.


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