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How to End all Ties With Your Ex

Updated on October 4, 2014

Let's Just be Friends

Memories good and bad make us rethink telling our ex to go to hell! Unfortunately the longer you keep an ex lingering in your mind and around you, the longer it will take to move on and find happier times.

It is not easy to break up with someone especially after you have been with them for so long and you have shared many intimate moments but the sad and unfortunate truth is that you broke up and the "Let's be Friends" thing isn't really good for either of you or any future partners that might actually make you happy.

Breaking up is never easy and it always sounds better to say that you should go back to being friends but in reality this doesn't work out for either of you.

Let go of your ex
Let go of your ex

Reasons to let go of your ex!

If you have history with an ex it is so hard to part ways but for your benefit and the benefit of your future partner it is the best thing to do.

Firstly remember that it is your ex for a reason and you broke up with this person because it wasn't going well.

You can not move forward in any relationship if you are hanging on to your ex.

Your future partner will not appreciate that your ex is always around and it will create problems in your relationship.

Letting go of your ex means that you are ready to face the world and start again.

Here are a few simple steps on how to end all ties with your ex.

Step One

Let your ex know that you are moving forward with your life and it would be best not to have them in your life as you need closure in order to start again.

Tell them not to email you or block their email, delete them off facebook or any other social media you might have them on.

Remove their number from your cellphone and change your number of you have to.

This way communication and drunk dialing will be very difficult to do.

Step Two

Although memories are great and having photo's and souveniers from relationships are nice to keep, it doesn't help you move forward as quickly as you need to.

Collect any photo's or love letter and gifts and put them away or throw them out. A potential new partner will think that you are unavailable or you will appear to be on the rebound should you have a display of your ex in public view.

Step Three

Return any c.d's, keys or anything that you have borrowed from your ex and ensure that you tske back whatever you have loaned to avoid a visit or an excuse to visit in the future.

Make certain that ther is nothing left for either of you to have to come back for.

Step Four

Having mutual friends with your ex is very difficult because you are bound to bump into your ex at some stage.

This is really difficult but you will have to distance yourself from these friends for a while until you can all get used to the fact that you are no longer with your ex and your friends will eventually understand that you need to be separated from each other's presence.

Step Five

Avoid the places that the two of you used to go to as a couple and this will prevent you from bumping into your ex.

Find yourself new places to go and try different things. Not only will this be good for you to escape your ex but it will also be good to have a new adventure.

Step Six

Abandon the idea of talking about your ex to a future partner and show some interest in whomever it is that you are with. Get to know them and don't compare them to your ex.

Your ex Husband

Obviously the same applies to your ex husband if you do not have children. Cut all ties by following the steps and make sure that you do return all your belongings and his to avoid seeing each other.

Always remember that you have had good times together but should you bump into your ex, remember to keep it amicable but don't forget that you split for a reason and keep that in mind when that smile melts your heart.

What about the Kids?

Unfortunately if you have children with your ex it is very difficult to cut ties with him/her for the sake of your children.

Unless he/she was abusive or violent in any way, you will need to be friendly for your children's wellbeing.

Take some time away from your ex and let them know that you are not ready to see them or speak to them as you need time to deal with the situation and heartbreak.

Once you have taken that time then you need to remember the good times when you see his /her face whilst you are saying goodbye to your kids for the weekend.

Meeting a potential partner is also going to be tricky but if you feel that it is the right match for you and you feel comfortable than you will have to let them know that you have an ex that collects children or you see at Christmas for the sake of your children. Your partner will understand and hopefully stay with you but eventually your ex will have to be separate from you and your children could end up having two Christmas meals!

Don't bad mouth your ex in front of the kids and remember that they love him/her no matter what and by hearing the other parent run them down, will only confuse and break their hearts even further.

Your lives will have to be separate and sharing custody will be difficult at first but you will all get used to the idea.

Remember that in order to move forward you have to put away the past, forget the memories and remind yourself that there were good times but the bad times outweighed them and that is why you need to cut loose. Findind someone that will make you completely happy is now your aim and having an ex hanging around will not get you anywhere near happy times again!

Children get hurt in divorce
Children get hurt in divorce

Are you ready to Cut ties?

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    • Tashaonthetown profile image

      Natasha Pelati 4 years ago from South Africa

      Thats great!

    • realtalk247 profile image

      realtalk247 4 years ago

      A few songs to help you move forward

      Teddy Pendergrast , Love TKO

      Lauren Hill , X Factor

      Alicia Keys, Brand New me

      Chrisette Michelle - Blame It On Me

      Celene Dion - Nothings Broken but my Heart

      Anita Baker - Fairy Tales