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The Ultimate Guide to Flirting and Making Someone Want You

Updated on March 9, 2023
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Andrea studied writing and film and writes on various topics, from dating and relationships to astrology, interior design, and gardens.

The art of flirting can be mastered. Work on your charisma, and watch as your awkwardness turns to dust.
The art of flirting can be mastered. Work on your charisma, and watch as your awkwardness turns to dust. | Source

The Flirting Guide

There's many ways to seduce and be totally insane by throwing yourself at men, but this guide is for those who want a classy etiquette and want to come off charming without people having a clue how you did it.

This is flirting for the advanced, so you could skip the dorky stuff and just come right here, which I advise.

Now, let us begin with a giant list to help you become a more presentable, attractive, and wonderful you. Most of these tips will be for women, but I'm sure this can be handy for men and even worth a steal or two.

The easiest way to flirt is:

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The Right Smell

1. Studies show the most attractive scents are: vanilla, lavender, and pumpkin. You can make a cheap exfoliate with your skin and add these scents by combining sugar and olive oil then adding household vanilla. Take a shower with the exfoliate. You could also add some lavender scent and mix in pumpkin spice from the spice rack. It is cheap, easy, and smells pretty amazing if done right. And it makes your skin better by taking away the dead skin cells.

2. Smell good, be clean, and have fresh breath. You'll catch more dates if you look healthy and clean.

3. Carry around dental floss, gum, and mints in case you need to remedy bad breath.

Looking Good

1. Being a more attractive you calls for you to update your hygiene. Buy clothes that fit you, wear colors that attract such as pink. According to studies yellow, brown, and gray are bad colors to wear on a first date. Red is debatable; it could potentially make you come off as too aggressive. Consider your weight and look for fashion tips; all sizes have their charm so don't dismiss that.

2. Don't wear clothing that looks too complicated. This can give off the vibe of high maintenance.

3. Wear comfortable shoes. Some outings can end up taking several hours, so the wrong shoes could be murder.

4. Improve your posture. Stop slouching. Sitting up straight puts your body into a better position and makes you more confident. Try practicing yoga for a better body.

5. Hit the gym and get into shape. Practice yoga at home if you can't buy a gym membership. Or get in shape by running or biking.

6. Take care of your skin. There are affordable products at local grocery stores, and you can make your own products too. Try leaving a clean fresh towel from the dryer on your pillow to rid yourself of acne.

7. Always carry chapstick and lipgloss to make sure your lips avoid dryness. Supple lips are much more viable.

8. Clean up after yourself. Don't leave crumbs everywhere and make a mess... especially at his place.

9. Work on a schedule that will allow you to get enough sleep. Your beauty sleep is good for you physically and mentally.

Brain Power

1. Honey, go get yourself some brains. You want an attractive, intelligent man, then read books. Good books. Be learned. Go to school. Get degrees. Have smart friends. The pool of prospects gets better when you go to college, even better in graduate school.

2. Stay up to date on the news. Knowing what's happening in your country and around the globe makes you a more charming person.

3. Guys like women that they can engage in conversation. The nice thing about going to school is it prepares you for a number of intellectual conversations. Men will see you as someone worth having in their lives if you have well informed ideas.

Your Support Team

1. Men will judge you by your friends. It could be harsh, but you should consider what friends you are making, I know that sounds evil, but if all your friends are crack whore sluts (that’s intense) -- then that's probably the kind of angle and vibe you're giving. People tend to think that those who hang out in a group are alike. If you hang out with attractive friends, you’ll be seen as attractive. If you hang out with less attractive friends... you may be seen that way as well.

2. Get along with his friends... but don’t flirt with them. Acknowledge if you're talking too much to someone else rather than him.

3. Be comfortable with going to places by yourself. Men have a hard time approaching a full table of women. It's less intimidating when there's not as many women.

Be Charming

1. Have a sense of humor and be cool about things. Get over your low self esteem. Be a more appealing person.

2. Be inviting. Setup parties. Make friends. Facebook makes it easy to setup events.

3. Look for something interesting on the guy you are interested in and either compliment him or ask him about it, especially tattoos or scars. Getting guys to talk about themselves will start a connection. They might not ask about you, so don't be alarmed and just offer some tidbits about yourself.

4. If you have friends with you, introduce them also. Show that you are a friendly person and not a jerk to your friends.

5. Offer to help if he seems to be overwhelmed.

6. Tease him somewhat, but don't go overboard.

7. Be welcoming when you see each other, and be lovely when you have to say goodbye.

8. Practice good manners. "Thank you" "You're welcome" and "I love you" never go out of style.

9. Don't sweat embarrassing moments. Be cool. Making a big deal out of nothing could come off as unattractive.

10. Find out his interests and try to casually bring them up, such as favorite television shows, movies, sport teams, video games -- something that you enjoy too.

11. Ask for help on something whether homework, yard work, something electronic, something that you can't fix. (Or that you can but he doesn't have to know that.) Men are wired to fix stuff, so if you give them a purpose, that will help.

12. Leave handwritten notes that are positive to let him know you are thinking of him.

13. Take him to something he would specifically enjoy as a surprise whether a sports game, the zoo, or a certain concert.

14. Leave things at your house that invite themselves for good conversation whether coffee table books, a suit of armor, video games, something. Blank walls may come off boring.

15. Always thank a man for his time, whether bad or not.

16. Buy him gifts that go for the heart, not the wallet.

17. Stroke the nostalgia of the past. Find out what his favorite movie was as a child, watch it with him, enjoy it.

18. If a conversation is going well, immediately get a phone number. You don't have to make this "I am going to call you" but more of a "I've got your phone number, so if I need to, I can call you."

19. Help him to problem solve areas of his life where he is confused. Try to help him understand that you are an excellent listener.

20. Dote your man when he is sick; bring blankets, soup, and ice cream.

21. Cook a good meal for him, the way to a man's heart... is his stomach.

22. When ordering food, don't be too complicated; you don't want him to think you're needy and high maintenance.

23. Be a good shoulder to cry on.

Dating Tips

1. Carry cash alongside plastic cards. This will be wise in case you need cash while out on the town.

2. Don't go to bed with anyone you see, be picky. You'll be able to create a longer lasting relationship by delaying sex and knowing where his real intentions lay with you. If you don’t know his STD history, don’t go to bed with him.

3. Tip well at restaurants. Be generous.

© 2013 Andrea Lawrence


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