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How to Get Over from a Narcissist
Narcissists are people who have excessive admiration of themselves. They are selfish, vain, self-centered and basically, everything revolves around them.
So how does it feel to be in a relationship with one? For people who have been with them for some time, it's like experiencing hell on earth. It's consuming, frustrating and depressing. At first, they will make you feel like you have found the right one until they get your trust and become clingy to them. After some time, they will lie excessively, cheat on you and dump you without any remorse. They are called the emotional vampires because they will suck your happiness, attention, love, self-worth and confidence.
People who have been with narcissists are similar to those who had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They crave their ex-partners like how drug users crave for their pot. They fell in love with people who never existed and lose their identity in the process.
Is it harder to get over a narcissist? Or do people get to have happy endings with one? It's no different in getting over someone compared to getting over a narcissist, but people with narcissist ex-partners tend to have lower self-esteem and self-worth. As for the happy ending, it is possible if the narcissist will change, which rarely happens.
So if you have been with a narcissist, here are some helpful tips to help you move on for good:
- Your value doesn't depend on him/her. There is nothing wrong with you even if you've been left behind, lied to or cheated on by one. Narcissists are not looking for love but for victims who will give them endless supply of narcissism. You are more than good enough, you just deserve someone better than a narcissist.
- Never seek revenge. It's painful to be with a narcissist. They don't show remorse and you can't hear them apologize for hurting you. They treat you like crap, as if your feelings never mattered. But as people usually say, always be the bigger person. Your healing is your utmost priority and your goal. You can't heal by plotting on your revenge to your narcissist ex.
- No contact. The most effective thing to do after a breakup. There's no need to stay in contact or be with friends with a narcissist ex. You will only be manipulated if you do so. Protect your heart and mind by going no contact.
- Acceptance. You loved an actor/actress who portrayed a very good role just to win your heart. They are not the people that they pretended to be. They are the manipulators, liars and cheaters who played with your heart. Accept the fact that they never really loved you, they just loved themselves. They always care about their needs and wants, regardless of who could they possibly hurt in the process.
- Work on yourself first. Your self-worth stealthily dismantled after being in a relationship with a narcissist. Try to focus on gaining your self-esteem first to avoid attracting narcissists in the future and to know what you deserve in a partner. Focus on becoming a better person so you could attract a better partner the next time.
Breaking up with a narcissist is thousand times harder than breaking up with a normal person because it will affect your character. But don't let a bad breakup bring you down. Maybe it's meant for you to discover yourself, transform yourself to be a better person and partner. You will be a lot stronger, wiser, happier and more emotionally mature after the breakup.