How to Handle a Friend Breakup
We all know what to expect after breaking up with a romantic partner, but how to get over losing a friend? It’s not easy and it takes time. Here’s what you can do to start feeling better soon.
1. There isn’t a rule book to follow.
Whereas there are so many pieces of advice on how to get over the ex, there’s not much being told about breaking up with a friend. Losing a friend can be even more devastating, and there is no universal recommendation on how to cope with it. After all, the reasons for the friendship to end can be different.
Sometimes it’s a betrayal or some kind of mistreatment of one person by the other. But other times people just grow apart and the relationship gradually come to an end. Depending on your case, it might be better to cut ties whatsoever or be polite to each other in social situations. It would be ideal if you could have an open conversation about it, but it’s fine if you don’t. Life is never perfect.
2. Accept that you may never reconnect
Just like any breakup, parting ways with your friend requires healing. But unlike the end of a romantic relationship, the end of a friendship is not always so in-your-face. You don’t usually sit down and define breakup terms with a friend as you’d normally do with your ex. That’s why things might feel somewhat ambiguous.
Sure, this could be just a big bad fight and your friend will apologize once they cool down. But this could be the end for both of you, which is something you need to accept. As time passes, you might get back to normal again but it’s also possible that things will never be the same. Everything depends on how difficult your situation is.
3. Give yourself space and time
This is probably the best piece of advice when it comes to friendship breakup. Give yourself some space. In other words, stop checking their social media, maybe even mute them for some time (a perfect way to stop seeing their Insta stories without creating too much drama with unfollowing or blocking). Also, it’s totally up to you where to spend your free time and you don’t have to go to the same places if you don’t what to.
Another trouble is when you and your ex bff work together. If you can’t isolate yourself from their company completely, at least act appropriately to these social settings. Draw a strict line between work and personal life and make sure you detach emotionally from this situation. Think about it as an exercise in self-control.
4. Don't seek out “a new best friend.”
Best friend break up is also tough because upon losing connection with this person, you lose the possibility to experience many things like you used to. For example, you don’t have a companion for some activities, you can’t visit the same places and enjoy your time there. Because you were doing so many things together, you might wish to replace your ex-friend with someone else, just like sometimes we feel the urge to date somebody new immediately after a romantic break up.
If you experience something like this, remember that it takes time to build a strong and meaningful connection. Don’t force it and don’t try to fill the void with the first person that comes around. Don’t get me wrong, you can and even should go out with your other friends. Just don’t try to immediately find a new best friend because that’s not how things work.
5. Try to learn something from it
To make the whole “breaking up with a friend” thing easier to handle, think about it as another lesson in life. Like any other difficult situation, this experience will definitely teach you something useful. You just have to approach it from the right side.
If you decided to part ways with your friend because of something they’ve done or have been doing for a long time, put this in words. The clarity like this will help you avoid such people in the future. Or it could become your exercise in self-awareness, which will help you recognize your own toxic behavior patterns.
6. Spend time with your other very good friends
There’s no better piece of advice on how to get over a friend breakup than this one. Going out and spending time with other friends can be extremely rewarding. Don’t refuse when people ask you out. Even if you are not very close to them right now, this doesn’t mean you won’t have fun.
Also, spending time with new people is always a chance to expose yourself to something new, and as we know our brain loves novelty. Not only will you get distracted from a friend break up but also leave your comfort zone for a while.
These are some of the best tips on how to deal with a friend breakup. Hopefully, you’ll get over it soon and find another person to share the best moments with.