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How to Identify a REAL man...Truth Is...

Updated on April 1, 2012

Essence of a Real Man

What is a real man?

When you truly become a man it will NOT be because of your muscles, your hair, your height, your size(anywhere), your money or possessions; it won't be because you can or have beat up someone...You will know you are a real man not because you SAY you are, nor because you think you are or FEEL you are...

Manhood in it's purest & truest form and/or sense is rarely if ever present in one where youth resides- for the foolishness of youth is the enemy of maturity.

Maturity is one of the first steps into manhood...You are NOT a man simply because you've produced a child, can will, or even have produced more than one, more than a couple, even more than a few. You are NOT a man simply because you have charisma or a lot of friends. You are NOT a man simply because you have the ability to produce a smile on nearly ANY woman's face or dampness in her panties...

Five components determine a man:

FEAR: Does he fear GOD? Does he fear failing God? Does he fear failing himself and his family?

ATTITUDE: Does he see life as a blessing and a gift? Is it an opportunity to accomplish and build? Does he care about people and not just himself? Is he selfish and self-centered?

INSTINCT& INTELLECT: Is he by nature in touch with the emotional as well as spiritual needs, trends, lacks, deficiencies of himself and his loved ones? Does he have the ability and wisdom to attend to these in a loving a compassionate but firm manner, showing all involved that his instruction(s) is sanctioned by God and assuredly rewarding? Is he smart enough to know to know that GOD'S way is the ONLY and best way for lasting success, joy, and peace?

TRUST: Is he one who you and your family can trust with your loyalty, love, and lives? Can you freely give your heart and most fragile emotions over to his care and feel confident of their receiving the greatest care?

HUMILITY: Is he humble by nature? Does he humble himself before God? Is he slow to boast, slow to anger, quick to compliment you or others? Does he step aside instead of always wanting to be first? Is there gentleness in his spirit?

Fear, Attitude, Instinct,Trust ,Humility...F-A-I-T-H!

Does he have FAITH? Faith in God, in himself ,in you? Do you have faith in him? Can you? Is his faith in God evident to all?

...for without faith it is impossible to please God...

Too, a real man will love a woman not for how she looks, but for all she does for him spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. He will love her children even if they are not of his loins, and teach them, nurture them to adulthood and beyond as if they were...He will MAKE them his, patiently.

A real man will wash dishes after turning in a 12 hour workday without any prompting or complaint-simply because he acknowledges all that his woman does. He will do the shopping, laundry, cleaning or help with these chores, or assign them to other family members. He will make each day a pleasant one for his entire family. He will make family foremost and conduct activities reflecting this to all.

A real man will encourage you to speak, to express, even to aspire. He will give you total support. He will solicit you laughter and cherish your tears. A real man will invite you into his tears, share his fears, and value your ear and shoulder. A real man makes mistakes and is aware of his own fallibility, limitations, and weaknesses.

* A real man regrets his ignorance-he NEVER wears it like a badge*

A real man cherishes his woman, his family, his relationship with God, and makes certain he tells this often to those concerned. A real man may not be big in might or stature, but he stands tall in attributes and possesses powerful love; thus he sees wisdom in considering your viewpoint.

Understanding, forgiving, and giving, self-sacrificing, having sympathy, empathy, and compassion-Truly in God's likeness, a real man too has a measure of GRACE!

*A real man has nothing to prove-thus needs no self-promotion*

A real man when making love is truly making LOVE, and making it BETTER. He seeks first the pleasure of his mate and gains great satisfaction in doing so. He believes her pleasure to be the purest and surest route to his own. A real man knows satisfaction is only true if it can be shared and that ecstasy cannot be realized as the result of the actions of only one...

A real man will tell you you are special, appreciated, needed and so important that you are irreplaceable. For a real man, compromise is NOT compromising, nor is sacrifice doing without or depriving himself as mutual success requires utter commitment(s).

*You will know you are a real man NOT because you feel it or you say you are- it will be communicated to you...often in ways too subtle to recognize at first and often through persuasive self-enlightened discovery.

Tho' he may stand tall before you, a real man bows low before GOD. Tho' he may be knowledgeable in earthly matters, his true wisdom comes from above...and he is NOT ashamed to ask for the answers. Tho' he makes his family proud, he is quick to give GOD the glory and praise.

* A real man not only prays for you, he prays WITH you

*A real man would NEVER strike a woman- a real woman would never provoke him to do so

* a real man doesn't think he is always right- but always turns right to God

A real man is respectful to all including a turn a real man is respected. He pays his debts even those unspoken. He is diligent and has initiative. He is NOT offensive nor easily offended.

You are NOT a real man simply because you think, feel or say you are. When you become a real man it will be made known to you in no uncertain terms...

The question now remains: "Is he a GOOD man?"

Truth Is...


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    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      Up++ and awesome. A must read for men too.

    • savvydating profile image

      Yves 4 years ago

      This article is beautiful in every way. You've described a real man perfectly. I highly recommend this article to any woman, whether she is a believer in God, or not! I am posting a snippet of your writing in this comment box, in the hope that some of my readers will click on this hub and learn from your wisdom.

      "* a real man doesn't think he is always right..."

      "A real man is respectful to all..."

      "A real man will encourage you to speak, to express, even to aspire."

      "A real man will tell you you are special, appreciated, needed and so important that you are irreplaceable."

      Up & awesome. Thanks you for sharing this hub.

    • MThacker profile image

      Michael Thacker 4 years ago from Fort Worth, Tx, USA

      Excellent article, it was very useful for me as I am growing out of my youth and into manhood. Thanks for the insight and wisdom! God bless!

    • profile image

      Mollie 6 years ago

      This article provided food for thought to women who are might not know what a "real" man should look like in God. We sometimes get caught up in the superficial things or the attributes of our fathers and miss out on real/good men. Good read Mr.D

    • profile image

      ADI78 6 years ago

      Being a real man is, if anything beyond human male, just about subservience to other men and women. I don't recommend anyone to go down that path.

    • profile image

      Confy 6 years ago

      Iv ben into a rlatnship 4 5 yrs.and wana setle dwn wt d person nd i was told he is nt d right man 4 me. What do i do?

    • profile image

      Karen 6 years ago

      Your postings are very interesting...keep up the good work.

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      pramodh 7 years ago

      good information

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      broken heart 8 years ago

      I have read your piece on "How to indentify a REAL man" several times now. My wife tells me that she did not think a REAL man existed until she met our pastor. This "REAL man" left his wife and two kids so he could continue his affair with my wife without feeling quilt. My wife and I have two kids as well and we are not even seperated, but she continues her relations with her "REAL man". This pastor goes infront of our church every Sunday still preaching about sin while he is committing the ultimate sin himself. Do you have any intellect on my situation???? I feel like GOD is letting me down. Why would he let this happen???

    • profile image

      drshawty1001 8 years ago

      I will forward this to all the lil boys I know

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      halfbakt 8 years ago

      So cool!

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      kimberley dixon 8 years ago

      wow. that was a good piece of knowledge.

    • frogyfish profile image

      frogyfish 8 years ago from Central United States of America

      Mercysakes, how wonderful and true too. Keep hubbing it all please. Thank you so much!

    • Lgali profile image

      Lgali 8 years ago

      excellent read!

    • profile image

      joseph 9 years ago

      excellently put!

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      GeorgeW 9 years ago

      This is something good for checking against our own perception of what a man is. I like the way that you say things.

    • profile image

      10shun 9 years ago

      This is a very good hub

    • profile image

      pepperbx 9 years ago

      I"m liking your stuff

    • profile image

      gr8one 9 years ago

      I have been reading your hubs for a while. First thru friends, then on my own. A lot of us see you as an enlightened and highly anointed person, sort of our Pastor actually. So when you are attacked by demonized people, we react. It is plain to see that is what is going on here with a couple of folks, but I notice how you responded(and didn't) and again your anointing shines through! I am now all the more convinced that you have something in store for us that god has given you and I and my friends anxiously await. Praise God and bless you truth

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      iirealnfx 9 years ago

      I see you're still providing the knowledge from God, I also see that you now have caught the attention of the enemy of that knowledge! Stay strong Truth and don't give up or out!

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      Patricia 9 years ago

      We love you Truth Is, and God does too. Those people are proof that you are blessed of God, that's why demons attack you now. You are in our prayers.

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      Reneenay 9 years ago

      Pray for the people who fail to accept the wisdom you share with us and feel the need to bring negative mess to this site. God bless you Truth Is

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      MrB 9 years ago

      It is sad the way that some people choos to disgrace themselves wby injecting filth and personal issues into a place like this where serious matters are discussed. These people are obviously children and minions of Satan as he is the one who resorts to such pwttiness and sick behavior. I only hope God forgives these people and grants them the opportunity to repent. Yhey have nothing better to do it seems and that is truly sad.

      I commend Truth Is for his hubs and his message. The writer of these hubs is obviously anointed of God and blessed with wisdom and great knowledge from above. That explains why people like andjay and graceNanotherlife have popped-up as they not only have serious issues they need to address, but also they are tools of demon inspired confusion and negativity.

    • profile image

      graceNanotherlife 9 years ago

      i have no bitterness within me in reference to anyone i was only asking a question with the question mark??? i am speaking the Truth with no makeup on it because so often in life we all have been guilty of saying one thing and we all do something different i am only saying that before anyone can write things deep from the heart he we and us must ask ourselves do we really practice what we preach??? or do we just allow ourselves to flow information to other's and not live in the personal truth of it... information is knowledge.. and it is not to be belittle or defamed by no means.. so to my dear friend dale i meant no harm i was only placing a question of? do we practice what we preach??

    • profile image

      patricia 9 years ago

      This is an excellent hub! You always seem to have an enlightened look into very real issues concerning life, love and relationships. Your discussions are on point and clearly of God. Gracenanotherlife seems to hold some bitter resentments and probably should give it to God and let go. keep up the good work Truth and know that many appreciate you and your words of encouragement and advice.

      God bless you.

    • daledad8 profile image

      daledad8 9 years ago from pittsburgh

      As expressed from the very onset of Truth Is...the main assertion as well as intent of these hubs are not to find fault but to encourage each and everyone of US to LOOK AT YOUSELF. More often than not(usually) when there is a problem in a relationship, it is NOT the fault of the "other" but more so the fault lies within us ourself. If one lacks the ability to humble themselves to the point of concentrating on their own faults or having the ability to admit we have any that is the true enemy of success in a relationship. Humility is something that will be brought to the forefront if not now, then later when it's probably too late. The goal thereby should work hard that when and if that "too late" occurs, it is not God's too late as that one is final and non-negotiable. Just as in the days of Noah...

      We cannot force oneanother to adjust to our ideas or ideals of seeing things. Thus it is much more advisable to conform to those of God. Theonly way to achieve this is to turn to him in prayr and to actually read his word(also prayerfully) instead of interpretting and injecting our view(s) into it.

      Equally so is the fact that our ability to understand and accept that the events and tragedies of our past canot and should not dictate our present and future understanding of life it'self. We sadly allow bad experiences in our past dicttate how we see life as well as people and the way that we deal with both, all to our detriment and...loss. Doing this only deprives us of what GOD has for us as blessing(s) to the point of rejecting them.

      Notably throughout the bible, the path to the richest blessings came to those who were willing to forsake that which "has always worked for me" and did things different and outside of their comfort zone. This is an act of faith and reliance upon God's wisdom and forsaking that which we see as our own(which is NOT true wisdom, but rather selfish obsession and self absorbsion) Often we are our own worst enemy as we place inapproriate demands on others due to our own insecurities. That is yet another reason for this article. A lot of women have good men in their lives that actually do the things written herein, yet they are so engrossed in their ideas and ideals that they fail to appreciate and even recognize what they have. Again, to their loss. Truth Is...

    • profile image

      GraceNanotherlife 9 years ago

      This was a good piece of information.. but experience has shown me that just because a person know's how to write important information.. concerning love and what a man must do to secure that love to and with a women he must search deep within to ask himself the question with the question mark can he and do he practice what he preach or shall i say write in this case.. but the piece was a good one for all to know and understand.. be blessed and then say thanks...keep up the good work all while checking your spelling.. and slow down ...

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      six2one 9 years ago

      This hub matches the one about a God fearing woman so well. I like the way that you tie-in your writings. It shows that not only are you blessed with insight and knowledge, but it reveals God's hand upon you and your anointing is clearly seen. God bless you.

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      truleeblessed 9 years ago

      You have a real way of expression that must be appreciated and should be read by far more people

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      gr8tone 9 years ago

      magic dude!

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      Reneenay 9 years ago

      As soon as my husband gets home I'm going to have this printed and posted on the fridge so that he sees it before reaching for his precious beer!

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      Candigrl 9 years ago

      A lot more men need to be reading your hubs

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      KingB 9 years ago

      this is an excellent read!