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How to Improve as a Husband

Updated on February 1, 2017

How To Improve as a Husband

Has it been a while since you two have been really interested in one another? Maybe one or both of you are just busy with the typical, everyday things in life - jobs, kids, social commitments, problems, etc. Sometimes couples become a bit too familiar and simply forget to take the time and remind the other just how much they care. Maybe you don't hold her hand as much anymore and lately she's just not interested in sex. Those arguments that really go nowhere have become an almost everyday thing. Does it seem like you're more roommates than marriage partners?

Gentlemen, if it seems your marriage has become a little less interesting than it once was, perhaps you need to learn how to improve as a husband. I know, you think it's all her fault and while that may be partially true, you cannot change her - you can only change you. That's actually good news because you already know what it takes to change you, right? You don't? Well, start by sitting down and have a talk with your wife - ask her what you can do to make her feel special?

Continue reading below for some other ideas that most successful husbands know about...





Put Some Effort Into Being a Better Husband

Like most things that are worthwhile, improving as a husband is going to require some effort. The great news here is that most wives will appreciate even the smallest effort. Here's an exercise you can try the next time you walk into your house. As you enter, look around and see the house as a neat freak. What things are the most bothersome to you as a person who will be cleaning the house? Suddenly that coffee cup on the end table, that half-read newspaper and those socks over by the sofa stand out. OK, so now you know. Next time, leave the room better than when you entered it. This seems like such a minor thing, but your wife will notice a change and realize you appreciate her.


Get Your Hands On Her

Look for opportunities to touch her in a non-sexual way. This type of touching is an unspoken endorsement of her as a person ,as a woman., as your wife. For example, when you pass by her around the house, just give her upper arm a quick, gentle squeeze. When you're walking through a restaurant, place your hand lightly on her lower back. As she stands at the sink, come up behind her, put your arms around her and gently press your lips into the back of her head, kissing her. These are all quick, little signs of affection - not a sign you're ready to jump in the sack. The message you want to send is that you are lucky to have her.



The Vital Importance of a Kiss Every Day

Never enter or leave the house without giving her at least a peck on the cheek or head, a kiss is even better. When two people come in contact skin-to-skin, potent oxytocin is released which makes you and her feel less stress and feel more connected. It just takes a minute or two every day to get the full benefits of that kiss. One kiss in the morning as you leave for work, a kiss when you get home and a kiss at bedtime goes a long way to create a sense of lasting intimacy in your marriage. Again, this is a non-sexual kiss. If she thinks it's a ploy to get sex, she is more likely to become tense and cranky.


Compliments Go a Long Way to Making Marriage Better

We all know how good it feels to get a compliment. In public or around your friends, those simple little compliments mean even more. You need to tell her how sexy she is, that her body is great. Wives who have a low body image typically feel less passionate and less sexual. A public compliment about her appearance not only lets her know how you feel, it puts great emphasis on your commitment to her. Telling her how good she looks will make her feel more secure in regard to her own body image. A woman with a healthy body image is one of the best things that can happen to a husband.

Tip: Compliments are like little gifts you give to your wife through out the day.



Laugh More at Her and With Her

You know how you feel when you tell a perfect joke and everybody starts laughing uncontrollably? That's a great feeling, right? Laughing at someone else's attempts at humor, as lame as they may seem, is one of the most affirming things you can do for your wife. It's like one person telling the other that they are great, they are funny, they deserve the respect of your laughter. To get his respect, you laugh at your boss, who may be the must un-funny person on the planet. Then it should be easy for you to laugh at your wife. Laughing together at something is also a great tonic for you both. The worst marriages develop when both husband and wife are no longer able to laugh at each other and stop respecting one another.


Just Do One More Thing

This is probably the least liked of all the tips in this article. According to a recent study conducted by Montclair State University in New Jersey, husbands who did more housework for their wives were more likely to engage in sex. According to researchers, sexual frequency increased by .06 percent for every increase of one=percent in housework. Let's see, that comes out to about 10 hours of additional housework every week, your intimate encounters would increase by 18 in just a year. Don't believe me? Just come up behind her at the sink tonight after dinner and tell her that you will take care of the dishes. You just see if she doesn't do something a little special just for you later that evening.



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    • MKayo profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Texas

      IL - thx for the read and compliments. Glad you enjoyed it. Best, M

    • Injured lamb profile image

      Injured lamb 

      7 years ago

      Thanks for the great sharing Maddie, this is a must read thought provoking hub for husbands and a sweet hub that would make happy smiling on wives' "up" for you here Maddie, cheers!

    • MKayo profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Texas

      Maddie - Thanks for the read and the compliment - means a lot coming from you. Best, M

    • Maddie Ruud profile image

      Maddie Ruud 

      7 years ago from Oakland, CA

      Just reading this Hub made me feel all mushy-gushy about my own relationship. I think that's the best testimonial there could possibly be to the truth of what you're saying!


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