How to Know a Fool From a Regular Person

It's pretty depressing to know that we live in such a blurred-society that we cannot honestly say that we know how to identify one person from the next.

This inadequacy in our awareness might cause us some rather "foolish" situations or danger in our daily lives. I can say with assurance that it pays to know the difference in various people.

Thieves, thugs, muggers and other troublemakers. We need to know who is who when we go out in public for our sakes and the sakes of our children and grandchildren.

So with that being typed, I want to share a piece I lovingly-call . . .

How to Know The Difference in a Fool and a Regular Person.

You have my permission to read this to your children as a teaching tool.

How to Know a Fool from a Regular Person.

A fool . . .

1. As a rule, will talk to himself even in public.
2. Wear his or her clothes mismatched and uncoordinated.
3. Make goofy faces at rank strangers.
4. Does not make the police feel uneasy.
5. Lays down on the sidewalk during 8 a.m. until 9 a.m. when citizens are walking to their offices and kick his legs up in the air and bark like a wounded Collie.
6. Laugh uncontrollably at himself as he sees his reflection in a storefront window.
7. Point across the street and yell, "Look! A giant lizard!" "It is about to eat us."
8. Stand on his head and make regular people try and guess what he is.
9. Walk up to complete strangers and start a conversation about gorillas.
10. Sing the hit song, "Tomorrow," from the Broadway play, Annie, and pretend he is Annie.
11. Light a firecracker and let it explode in his hand and laugh at himself.

Those are but 11 things a fool does to tip you off that you are in the company of a fool.

Here are ways to know if you are in the company of a regular person.

A regular person . . .

Always keeps a low-profile. His job, family, friends mean more to him than a few minutes of foolish entertainment.

1. Dresses like he or she knows how to look neat, clean, and presentable.
2. Will never draw attention to themselves like some cheap comedian "paying dues," but keep himself focused on his work at his or her office,

3. Always watches what comes out his or her mouth.

4. Never does "foolish" antics such as laying down on the sidewalk and acting like a trained ape.

5. Never yells stupid, childish phrases in or out of the crowd. He or she values his obscurity.

6. Knows better to run wildly across a vacant lot waving his arms at the pigeons who are feeding on the ground and screaming, "The moon aliens are just around the corner!"

7. Never plops down on the sidewalk and falls asleep.

8. Never talks to the street light poles while he is embracing one and kissing it like it was a woman.

9. Always holds high regards for the local police.

10. Never gets accused of "acting a fool," anywhere, anytime, or any place.

11. Is never locked-up for being a public spectacle.

Now you have 11 things that a regular person does and doesn't do.

Now I need to be excused while I go and check on my pet Pre-Historic Squid. He is so proud of his sixteen-tentacles.

Just kidding. He has eight tentacles and talks in Spanish.