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How to Lose a Guy in 5 Days!

Updated on October 5, 2010
Girl: "Tommy if you don't love me and look at this picture of how cute are kids would look I will kill you!" Boy: "AHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Girl: "Tommy if you don't love me and look at this picture of how cute are kids would look I will kill you!" Boy: "AHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"Your nothing like my ex! He-"

Stop! Hold on one minute..You are sitting with this charming, sophisticated, handsome man and you are talking about your lying, manipulative, cheating Ex! That's only the first strike, but you are already OUT! So many women make the mistake of gabbing about their ex to their knew man. From the guys point of view a few things come to mind:

  • She is really not over him
  • I hate being compared! It doesn't matter if Its good or bad.
  • Well she's attractive..I guess this will just be a WAM BAM Goodbye mam

Talking about your ex shows insecurity, fear and maybe that you are not exactly over him. So if you ever want to get married or even get to the second date you should never never never never ever mention the X-factor. X is close to the end of the alphabet for a reason!

Me and My Boyfriend's child would look like this! I can do this though because we are a SERIOUS couple. You can't!
Me and My Boyfriend's child would look like this! I can do this though because we are a SERIOUS couple. You can't! | Source

"I hope our kids have your eyes"

If your date was drinking water he probably spat it out and almost died from choking! Now I know some women are just all about marriage, I'm not ashamed to say I am one of them, but you need to learn to keep that stuff (cleaning up my language for the young readers) to yourself! You can think all you want about how pretty your dimpled mix kids would look with your new beau but DONT TELL HIM ABOUT IT. If he asks what your thinking about LIE. Honesty is key in relationships but not about this subject. So if you went to morphthing.comand made a picture of what your baby will look like, hide it in the back of your closet! If you show him he is not going to be as tolerant as Matthew Mcconaughey was!

Bet you can't guess what I look like under all of this!
Bet you can't guess what I look like under all of this!

Fakes get flaked On!

Yes it is cute to get extensions and fake nails but if you have both plus colored contacts, plus shoes that give you an extra foot in height, plus a bra that turns your A's into double D's then you have a problem. Picture this:

You have decided to do this on more then just the first date, because you thought "Well this is what he expects me to look like and I would love it if he would get to know me first." So tonight the date goes really well, so well that you invite him back to your place. First you are just talking..Then a little more then talking..THEN a little more then that..and now you know that there is going to be "coloring" (Refer to my article Annoying things about men for the definition) happening tonight. He runs his hand threw your hair and a clip in extension falls out. That doesn't freak him out so much, then one of your nails fall off and land on to his chest. (DANG YOU CHEAP MANICURE) and then he unhooks the lock to the treasure chest to find NO treasure inside! Oh and then your colored contact falls out. So now you are an embarrassed hot mess sitting there with one blue and one brown eye.

Please just be yourself as much as possible. Anyone who has seen the movie The Ugly Truth knows that you want to fall in love with a man who accepts your faults..not one who sees you take out your weave and looks like he's going to vomit.

That's great! Just don't do it on the first date!
That's great! Just don't do it on the first date!

Remember your manners.

Look here's the deal..A lot of guys don't know we fart..I know it sounds crazy but it's true! So if you let one loose at dinner then I would just get up and leave, save yourself sometime. I am not saying hold it in until you explode, just excuse yourself and go to the bathroom!

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