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How to Love from Afar in a Long Distance Relationship
Romance or Relationship?
The main problem with a long distance relationship is how alone it makes you feel, especially at a time of year when you see so many other happy, loving and together couples. Christmas, Valentines Day are the hardest holidays on people in long distance relationships. Birthdays too, those days when we want to share our time with the people who are most important in our lives.
Start as friends. Don't rush into a relationship, especially when you already have the hurdle of not being in the same location. Don't decide you are in love too soon. This is not going to be an easy, simple relationship where you can get together for a coffee and maybe a movie just because you both have the afternoon free. This is a relationship which is going to take good communication, trust and planning ahead. You also need to know you have the time to put into this relationship. If you can't make time for a relationship really, then don't get into a long distance relationship which will be even harder to work out for your available time.
Spend Your Time Apart
Don't neglect your time apart. Keep working on the things that make up your own individual life. Spend time with your family and friends. Work on achieving things at work or school. Keeping your life busy and full not only makes the time pass faster but better too.
Don't put your life on hold while you wait for the relationship to change. That won't work. You will end up bored, frustrated and you will miss the feeling of accomplishment and being part of the world which you need when you are dealing with a long distance relationship.
LDR Ideas and Tips
- Long Distance Relationships
- Discovery Health - 10 Reasons Why Long-distance Relationships Just Don't Work
- CANOE - Lifewise: Tips to survive long distance relationships
- Long-Distance Relationships - Survival Guide - Slice
- How to make your long-distance relationship last - Canadian Living
- How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work - wikiHow
- The Rules: How to Have a Lasting Long-Distance Relationship - Shine from Yahoo! Canada
- Long-Distance Relationship - AskMen
- Long Distance Relationships: Connecting from Afar : TwoOfUs.org
- Saying “I Love You” from a Far
- Loving from Afar: Tips for Enduring a Long-distance Relationship - Yahoo! Voices - voices.yahoo.com
- Long distance relationships: How to make long distance relationships work - sofeminine.co.uk
- Love from Afar: Staying Close While You Live Apart | Psychology Today
Communicate Over Distances
Use video chat and webcams if you have them. This is a way to see and hear the person you are talking to when you are talking online.
Schedule time to get together online and stick to it. Whether you get together in reality or virtually, don't miss a date once it is set. If something does come up give notice as soon as you can and then arrange a new date and time when you know you can be available.
Use snail mail. Send cards, letters, postcards even. Not just for special days but any old regular day. You can have a plan to send a weekly letter with news, thoughts and ideas as they come along over the week. Snail mail is a cost effective way to keep in touch and it has a personal touch which you can't get using email.
Take a digital photo of yourself every now and then or on occasions and share it through email. In this way email is nice because there won't be a long wait to see the photo, it can be there that same day - even that same hour or minute.
Send little gifts. You don't need to spend a lot of money on the gift or on the postage and packaging for the gift to get there. Little things mean a lot. Listen to what he or she says. Pick up on what they say and surprise them with shampoo samples when they get a new haircut. Send them coffee beans - something you think they would like. There are all kinds of small and sample sized things which can be sent in the mail.
You can even shop online at sites like Etsy, CafePress and Artfire and have surprise gifts sent to his or her address from you. There are so many great things you can pick out from online handmade craft sites. I especially like Etsy.
Join social media sites like Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook (not my favourite), Skype, Yahoo! Messenger and share things you find online. Send interesting website links, photos that catch your imagination and ideas for things you will do when you are together, in person, again.
Get your own family and friends involved. The relationship will feel much more real and alive if more people are part of it, or at least know about it. Once you know you have grown past the stage of being friends talk about your family. Introduce your family and friends to your long distance partner.
LDR Books on Amazon
When you have a date, time and location set for your next meeting, start making plans. You can have a lot of fun thinking of all the things you might do when you are together again. Of course, the list will soon grow and you won't be able to fit everything in. Decide which are the most important things and put those the top of the list. Plan how they will fit together and how your schedule will flow.
Plan a vacation together. Meet somewhere in the middle of your two locations or head somewhere you both have always wanted to travel to. You can have a great week just the two of you at a romantic bed and breakfast in the mountain. Or, you might pick a seaside cottage which you can rent by the week. Or, a wintery vacation with skiing and hot chocolate in the north.
If you can only get away for an overnight or a day, the bed and breakfast is a nice plan. Also, consider a picnic for just the afternoon. It's nice to at least be in the same time and space, even if only for a day, a morning or an afternoon, or for one evening. If nothing else you can meet at the bus or train station (or the airport) for a romantic kiss and cuddle as one of you passes through town.
Talk About It
Issues will come up. They always do. Whatever comes up in your long distance relationship, talk about it.
Talk about feeling lonely and alone.
Talk about a change to the relationship.
Talk about being angry or sad and all your other feelings.
Don't put off talking about something important because you don't want to hurt your partner's feelings. Really, isn't that just a cop out for not wanting to face having to tell them bad news and deal with the fallout? If you really do care for this person you will be honest with them.
If you lose the honesty then there can't be trust in the relationship. At that point it really can't work out. A long distance relationship needs communication and trust.