How to Maintain a Love Relationship
Love, dating, relationships and marriage; one of my favourite topics to write about. I could literarily write a whole book on my experiences with love and how to maintain your relationships. You could probably call me a love doctor; laugh out loud!
When two people from different family backgrounds come together to start a love relationship, some level of compromise is required to get things moving in the right direction. Starting a relationship with anyone ‘experienced in the field of love or a newbie’ requires some level of effort, commitment and compromise because you are dealing with a person, an individual; having an already built-up personality, mindset, lifestyle and aspiration.
Even when you find your dream man or woman and they turn out to be everything you ever wanted, you will still need some level of adjusting, patience, understanding, and trust to make it very satisfying. Who says you cannot have a perfect relationship that works for you? You just need to be the tailor!
Love is beautiful when you find the right person. Finding the right person is an essential requirement to sailing any relationship to success. The ‘person’ is the essential ingredient in the successful establishing of any relationship. The wrong person in a relationship causes trauma to the other, and makes the relationship chaotic. You could try your best doing everything right and even going below the belt to just make things work, but if the person is wrong, the relationship will not last. From my personal experience, there will be a misfit in communication and in the ability to understand each other’s inner groaning even if you both try hard. The bolts and nuts just won’t fit!
Assuming you have found that special someone who makes you want to commit. Let’s assume you have found that man or woman who keeps you up late at night, who ticks all your boxes or at least most. Let’s assume you have found that special person you really want to go the whole nine yards with. Then, you would need to remember the points listed below to help you keep track and successfully maintain that relationship.
The word ‘maintenance’ may sound unromantic but we all know that every precious thing including gold and silver needs maintaining. Whatever you don’t maintain easily gets destroyed. So, even for matters of the heart, you still do need to maintain them. Remember that the heart is a sensitive and fragile organ in the body; ignoring the heart could lead to its deterioration.
Here are some unavoidable tips on how to maintain a love relationship:
- It is not always about you; the me, myself and I approach! This is where the word compromise takes effect. When you were single, it was fine if you chose to be self-centred but when you decide to let love in, then you really will have to put away the selfish act or you could ruin a perfectly good relationship. No one wants to be around someone who is always about themselves all the time. You never ask your partner how his or her day went. You probably know little or nothing about your partner. A good example is for instance when your partner comes home with some vital information and you immediately interject with your own ‘probably’ not so relevant story.
- Express your love. Love can be expressed by words and actions. Love is sweeter when it is expressed! If you say you love someone and you never tell it to them?! If you say you love someone and you never go anywhere with them? You don’t spend some alone time with them because you are always busy. If you say you love someone and you never buy them anything; like flowers, chocolates, or even bras and panties or boxers. Seriously, it’s the little gestures that really count!
- When you stop caring for yourself. Some people get complaisant in relationships. They lose the sensual appeal they used to have. No one is asking that you remain the way you were at the start of your relationship but making that little effort to look good and smell good even as you age will keep the relationship on course.
- Create a balanced structured life. Create a timetable structured life for yourself and your partner. This is different from just spending time with your partner. This involves rearranging your schedule to make room for love in your life. For instance, you could choose to work only from Mondays to Fridays leaving Saturdays void of any kind of work to stay home with family and just do home chaos or watch TV. By this act, your partner has that reassurance that there will be no unexpected dashing out on Saturdays. Have a structured plan that includes your partner.
- Keep aspiring for greater heights, keep pushing boundaries, set big goals and go for it. Challenge yourself ambitiously on a plain surface. Don’t make it a do or die affair and don’t let it break you if it doesn’t turnout the way you hoped. Challenge yourself for the fun of it. Treat such challenge as if it were just a game. We all hope to win in every game but when you don’t, do not beat yourself up; it is only a game! Ladies love a man with a vision.
- Finally, don’t forget to be you. Don’t work too hard trying to make everything and everyone happy and then you forget to live. Only a happy you can make someone else truly happy. If you are not happy, your efforts to make others happy will soon fall flat. Be you, be happy, and even when compromising with your partner, do it with you in mind. The word compromise simply means making room for others in your life, and not necessarily losing your own identity. You still get to be you while making room for someone else. So, be you, do you and be happy. Your happiness is an integral part needed to sustain and maintain a love relationship!
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