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What it's Like to have a Guy Best Friend

Updated on February 24, 2016

Introduction

This article may be controversial. However, I wanted to write this article for my sisters who are thinking about entering a close friendship with a guy or who are already in one. Having a guy best friend is one of the simplest,most wonderful joys of life. It's true that friendship itself is a beautiful thing. Regardless of whether it's with a girl or a guy. But a best friendship with a guy has something special that no other friendship can offer. I've talked to many girls who have guy best friends and we all say the same thing- it's easy. That's it. A friendship with a guy is (usually) 99% drama-less because they hate it even more than we do. You don't have to do much to keep them satisfied with the friendship. As long as you're there for them, they'll be there for you-it's that simple. Just the way friendship is supposed to be. However, it's not always unicorns and daisies. Just like it's easy to fall into the friendship, it's really easy to develop extra-friendship feelings for your guy friend. I know that someone who has a best friendship with someone of the opposite gender is ready to come at me with torches and pitchforks. Let me explain my side before you crucify me. I'm not saying it's impossible for guys and girls to be just best friends-I've seen it. But I think that's the exception-not the rule. After reading this article, you may find that the answer isn't as black or white as you originally thought.

It's Never Boring

The beauty of having a guy-girl best friendship is that you're always learning something about each other. As a girl, you get to explain our thought processes and why we act the way we do. You feel like you're doing a favor to humanity by bridging the great chasm between guys and girls. It's wonderful to help your guy friend understand that we're not all "crazy" and/or "unreasonable". And I can't lie-it feels pretty cool when he comes to me asking why a girl did something that "makes no sense". And the reverse is also true. It's so interesting to learn what the guy mind is truly like. I've learned that men can categorize thoughts and pack them away while us girls connect everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) . Before I met my guy best friend, I thought all guys did was sit around and talk about girls and football. Boy ,was I ignorant. And there are few things more special than breaking down all the walls and finally having the priviledge of seeing his vulnerable side. It's unfortunate but true that our society teaches guys to not show or even really have emotions. That's why it's such a big deal when he's finally open with you. It makes you feel so special. Like they're telling you their most precious secret and trusting you to never tell anyone. And you won't. Because he's your Best Friend.

It's Comfortable

You know that gross thing? That nasty habit you have or unnamed object growing out of your bellybutton? He can handle that. Everything you'd be too embarrassed to tell your girlfriends, your guy friend will most likely not judge you for. And you can be sure he'll tell you some pretty "interesting" stuff too. But hey,what's best friendship without a few laughs? And this safe haven of communication doesn't only apply to physical defects, but emotional and spiritual ones too. I know for a fact that I can tell my guy friend anything and he won't judge me. He's passed the I-call-in-the-middle-of-the-night-crying-and-just-need-my-best-friend test. He may scold me or remind me that he warned me about so-and-so. But I know it's all out of love. And at the end of the day, I know he'll help me hide a body if it comes down to it. And he knows that he can tell me anything that he may be struggling with and I will listen,give advice, or just simply be there. Guys are built to solve problems. I've had to learn that I'm going to get a "solution" to every problem I have whether I want it or not. I don't always like it and it kills me that he's almost always right. He knows that even though I may get frustrated in that moment, it will be good for me in the end-what else can a girl ask for?

He's All Yours

What could be better than having your very own gen-u-ine guy without all the extra pressure of a relationship? Since he knows how guys think, he can let you know if probably it's not in your best interest to buy that unflattering dress you thought looked amazing. He's there to remind you how important and beautiful you are when you're feeling quite the opposite. He'll make you feel special by buying you little thoughtful gifts as a surpise. He'll show you how you deserve to be treated and NEVER let you settle for any guy that doesn't measure up. Also, he can become your own personal body guard whenever a sketch guy can't take the hint. He's available to hold you when you cry or hold your hand when you're scared. And the best part is that you don't have to worry about "breaking up". In a way, it's the best of both worlds.As long as neither of you develops feelings...

Here's where we Enter a Grey Area

Everything I've said so far makes having a guy best friend sound fun and easy-and it is. But it can get complicated. And,unfortunately, in most cases, it does. If you know anyone whose best friend is of the opposite gender, one or both of them has probably had feelings for the other at some point. Just ask them. They'll tell you. No matter how "that could never happen to us" you start out, it can still happen. It's a gradual process that usually happens without you even realizing it. You get used to their cute smile and the way that only you can make them laugh until they cry.You get so close that you can have whole conversations with your eyes and no one else can understand the language of your insiders. When you see him/her, you don't just see who they are now but who they have the potential to be. You see their heart-the beautiful parts of them that only a few lucky souls will ever see in this lifetime. After a while, this can cause you to become protective-which is normal. You don't want anyone to harm this beautiful treasure that you have found. And before you know it, one day they're talking about another person. A person that you would normally approve of. Someone beautiful,smart, and funny. The only problem is that it's not you. That's never bothered you before but all of a sudden,it does. It really does. And your heart stops for a second because you realize that the one relationship you had that was completely free of complication, couldn't be more complicated. You try to figure out how you let this happen but then you realize, it wasn't your fault. It's there's for being so perpetually cute and good. In the end, it doesn't really matter how or why it happened. What really matters is that it did-You've fallen for your best friend.

Happy Ending-ish

Now you have a choice. You can either tell him and risk embarrasment,awkardness, and oh that little thing called unrequited love. Or, you can play it "safe" and live in silent agony as you spend countless hours with the best thing that's ever happened to you without being able to express that. It's like having a sundae but only being allowed to eat the cherry and some sprinkles-it's sweet,but you know there could be more-so. much. more. Eventually, you'll move on and find someone else to love. That has it's own risks, though. It's difficult to maintain a best friendship with someone of the opposite gender while being in a relationship. Significant others don't usually take too well to you wanting to spend all your free time with someone they know is competition. And unfortunately, when it comes to choosing between a gf/bf and a best friend, most people choose the significant other. That means if either you OR your best friend gets into a relationship, it can put a pretty serious strain on the friendship. Plus, what if you don't get over them? What if you have real, persistent feelings for your Best Friend? What do you do? What can you do? It's possible that they have feelings for you too. Maybe you're one of the lucky ones. Maybe you guys will start a relationship and it will work out. Or maybe they won't feel the same way now but they will later- right around the time you accept that you'll never be anything more than friends. Basically, what I'm saying is that yes, guys and girls can be just best friends. But it's important to understand that there is a significant risk involved. There are a lot of ways this special type of Best Friendship can pan out. So I'm just advising you to be prepared to accept whatever happens in the end. I don't know what that will be. But what I do know is that having a guy best friend is quite literally the best thing that has ever happened to me. And, regardless of the risk, I wouldn't change it for the world. I know that whatever our ending is like, whether beautiful or.. not-so-beautiful, we will both always have a piece of each other in our hearts. We have made wonderful memories that no one can ever take away. And that's enough for me.

Do you think guys and girls can be just best friends?

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Comments

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    • Imani Jane profile imageAUTHOR

      Imani Jane 

      3 years ago

      Yea, it's a sticky situation but it's definitely an amazing ride. I agree with you. I'm really glad you enjoyed it :) Thank you so much!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Sure guys and girls can be just best friends. In fact, some male-female relationships which are meant to be friendships get messed up when the individuals try to make it something more. Lucky for some, the friendship gets stronger when they rebound from trying to be more involved.

      Having said that, I also want to offer that some guys make great friends not only because they are guys but also because they have good interpersonal skills (same as some girls). Emotionally healthy females have great male as well as female friends.

      I enjoy reading about your friendship. Thanks for sharing.

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