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How to Really Communicate With a Negative Spouse

Updated on December 22, 2017

How many of us have found ourselves in a verbal altercation with a loved one that we wished we could take back? It could be a mother, it could be a friend, or a spouse. In any case different personalities have a way of pushing buttons of others whether we mean to or not. Here are a couple things that everyone may want to consider when communicating with another person to help keep the peace.

  • Don't jump to conclusions

Your significant other may say something that sets you off but they likely did not mean it. Someone has to be the bigger person, bite the bullet, and consider that there was likely no animosity involved in the statement. Let it go.

  • Don't make the other person look bad

Regardless of what is being said, don't twist their words around to make them sound like they've said something terrible. For example, if your spouse talks to you in a way that makes you feel inferior, do not negatively concede. He or she does not consider you to be stupid, they are just asserting their own opinion into the conversation.

  • Consider the source

The person is a loved one, after all. Of course there is the potential for the occasional hard feeling or mean comment to be spoken but for the most part it is more likely that they tried to communicate out of love and not out of trying to make you feel badly. Take a deep breath and walk away.

  • Don't speak

Sometimes silence is the best policy. If you hear something you don't like, pretend you did not hear it. It is likely they are not going to repeat what they said. If you try to explain yourself or make them aware that you heard them then a fight is more likely to break out.

  • Be the bigger person

If it is inevitable that a fight is about to ensue then take the high road. Many times the best way to get a fight to die down is to not play into the hands of the other person. By maintaining a calm demeanor it is likely that the entire issue will blow over with very few fireworks and possibly even fewer tears.

Regardless of the topic of the argument, who is involved, and whether you are right or not, is it really that important to open your mouth and make someone else feel badly out of pride? I think it is not, and so I will be taking my own advice. I hope this helps with at least one fight.


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