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How to Refill a Love tank?

Updated on May 31, 2023

You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.... connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”
C. JoyBell C.

“I mean, if the relationship can't survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?”
Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.

Let our scars fall in love.”
Galway Kinnell

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life

What is Love?

Love is a universal language that transcends words. It is conveyed through actions and can evoke powerful emotions. Love can make our hearts skip a beat and leave us longing for more. It is an unconditional force that connects people until the end of their lives. Love is not limited to romantic relationships; it can be expressed between parents and children, families, and even countries.

Love fosters attachment and bonding, leading to long-term relationships and a sense of safety and security. Overcoming obstacles in a relationship can make love even stronger and more resilient. Love is a priceless gift that cannot be bought with money.

In today's fast-paced world, it is easy to overlook the importance of love and take it for granted. However, love is a vital source of support and comfort in old age. We must prioritize and nurture our relationships to keep the flame of love burning.

The 5 C's

There are 5 C's that could refuel a love tank and rekindle a relationship. Some of the strategies are:

  • Communication

Acknowledge each other's presence by complimenting each other once in a while. This not only boosts the person's confidence but also helps initiate a dialogue between two individuals. This will gradually help to open up or discuss issues that are usually kept at bay or are avoided due to indifferences.

Positive talking invariably ignites a talk, and two individuals can get closure.

  • Comfort Zone

Be open to listening and hearing out the other person in a relationship. A love tank can be refilled only when all in a relationship can be themselves. Hindering any individual's comfort zone can eventually strain a relationship.

  • Take Charge

Where there is love, there is sharing of duties and tasks. Partnering chores such as laundry, cooking, cleaning, vacuuming, or taking out the trash can prevent any individual from becoming overwhelmed. This is another way to speak your love via your actions.

Taking charge of one's responsibilities helps all individuals in a relationship to refuel their love tank constantly.

  • Pause the Clock

Allocate a few minutes from your schedule to make time for your loved one. Time is money, and when a few minutes of the day are spent with your loved one, it helps to refuel your love tank. Having conversations by sitting together and keeping all the distractions such as the telephone, computer, and TV away helps. Sometimes doing activities together, such as walking, playing a sport, exercising, or going on a drive, also helps revive a relationship.

  • Give Credit

Just as it takes two to tango, a relationship can only be successful if the individuals in that accord are in harmony with each other and appreciate each other's presence. Commendation helps in refueling the love tank.


As a social animals, humans need companionship to survive. Individuals must prioritize their personal lives and take breaks from work or routine activities. Failing to do so can lead to emotional suppression and a lonely existence. Therefore, we should cherish the present moment and take small steps to nurture our relationships as time goes by.

© 2013 Ruchira


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