How to Stay Faithful to Your Spouse?

Are you one of those people who find it difficult to stay faithful to your partner? If you are, you are not alone. There are many like you who easily stray and end up cheating on their loved one. Some get away with it, others get caught. Either way, the feeling of cheating on your partner can never be a good feeling. Even if your partner never catches you, you have to live with the fact that you've cheated on the person you supposedly love so much. It weighs on your conscience, makes you feel guilty all the time, and whenever you face your loved one, you know within you that you haven't quite kept the faith and trust your loved one reposed in you. I’ve never experienced this feeling personally, as I’ve never cheated; however, I would imagine that it would be an awful feeling. So, is there something you can do so you don’t end up cheating on your partner? Well, I think there are things you can do and here are some strategies on how to stay faithful.

The first thing you need to do is to get to know you. Why you ask? Well, you need to know you because unless you do, you aren’t going to be any wiser as to what your weaknesses are. For example, there are people who tend to cheat when they are drunk. There are also some situations which make you susceptible; like being with someone you fantasize about for extended periods of time, alone, in an office setup perhaps. It is almost never the case that cheating happens out of the blue. In most cases, the circumstances leading to the eventual act develop gradually. Mostly, the person knows that they would end up cheating and who the person would be, who’d make them cheat. So, in many ways, there is an amount of predictability to it and hence gives you some time to nip it in the bud, before it leads to a situation where you end up cheating.

Knowing yourself, thus, can clearly define your weaknesses and help you avoid those situations. For example, if being drunk makes you susceptible, you should probably be doing something about it, rather than allow yourself to be put in that situation. I don’t think you would want to be in a position where you’d have to lament about not doing anything later.

There is almost always an object (i.e. person) of temptation, who makes you cheat. As I’ve stated before, the person who cheats usually knows who this person is, who’d eventually make them cheat. The obvious solution to this is to avoid the object of temptation (as much as you can) and not put yourself in a situation where you find yourself alone with this person for prolonged periods of time.

As they say, “it takes two to tango.” So, avoid sending out overtly, or covertly friendly/flirty vibes that can be misconstrued by the other person. These may seem harmless, but can easily build up quickly into much more than just plain simple flirting. This can be difficult, when you yourself feel tempted by the person and hence can’t avoid being friendly and nice and flirty. However, you can always develop a mental conscience keeper who’d remind you when you are testing the boundaries with unhealthy flirting from your side, or being directed at you. Doing this, however, takes practice. I develop my conscience keeper by imagining a potential cheating situation and my reaction to it. An actual, real-life situation hardly gives you time to think and you can just get carried away, but if you replay a situation like that beforehand, you would be better prepared and be more definitive in your disapproval.

People are more likely to be unfaithful when there is distance between them and their loved one. The distance I am talking about can be either physical distance (in terms of miles) or mental distance (in terms of not being close mentally). Either can make you more susceptible towards being unfaithful. If you are away physically (on a business trip for example), stay in touch with your loved one by calling him/her often. If you have kids, speak to your kids. These are ways to make you grounded and remind yourself of your responsibilities as a family person and towards your relationship.

Many married people think online flirting is harmless and indulge in it and in fact get addicted to it. These online affairs, however, can easily get out of control and could lead you to cheat on your loved one. Things might start innocuously enough with plain chatting, but then you might be tempted to exchange pictures (which you may still think is harmless. Then, you might just decide that a face-to-face meeting is in order. You may not want it, but might not be able to say no to your online friend. Well, once you do that, things may go out of your control and you may end up doing things you never intended. I’d think it would be therefore prudent to stay away from online flirting, or at least to stop if from progressing any further, which I think is a less desirable option. I personally feel its tempting fate, as you never can predict how things develop and it is difficult to control yourself once you’ve taken the online plunge.

In closing, cheating isn’t something that just happens or is out of the person’s control. It is a voluntary decision that you make and try as you might, you can’t justify it under any circumstances. If you get drunk and cheat, that’s a voluntary decision too and sometimes you are aware of your this weakness, yet you do it and so you have no one but yourself to blame for it. Ultimately, you make the choice as to whether you want to be loyal to your love, or not. Staying faithful is a great feeling. Especially if you have a great marriage and kids and everything that you could have ever wished for, its just plain stupid and such a waste to blow it all away in a moment of weakness and indiscretion. You can definitely be much stronger than to give into temptation. You know you have it within you – it’s just that you need to find that resolve and keep the faith. Well, here’s to years of faithful togetherness to you all wonderful couples out there. Stay loyal, if you really love your partner!! It is precious and it most definitely is a good feeling – I can vouch for that!!