- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
How to Make My Boyfriend Stop Snoring
I have been dating my boyfriend for about three months now, but it could have easily been broken off at two due to his snoring. If you look at it objectively, that seems like a juvenile reason to break up with someone. But subjectively, the person who is forced to lie awake at night with a pillow over her ears and praying that she falls asleep, it could be a deal breaker. And here's why:
The Beginning Snore
It starts out all soft and slightly endearing. Then it gradually crescendos in volume until it is deafening. When I first started dating said boyfriend he didn't snore. Can you believe it?? He was silent. And later on in our relationship it started. I felt that I had been tricked! The truth was finally coming out. And as much as I loved him, I loved and needed my sleep more. And it wasn't until I had to leave the room and sleep on the couch that we realized that it really needed to be addressed. I was now on a first name basis with all the sheep.
The Strain on the Relationship
I hate to admit it, but I resented him for snoring. I was jealous that he was far away in la la dreamland whilst I was awake and cringing in horror. I stopped spending the night at his house, and slowly we started to see less of each other. I felt as we were drifting apart, and for what?? SNORING?? How ridiculous. Even though I was exhausted and annoyed, I made an effort to spend the night when I didn't have to wake up early the next morning. I was trying to compromise. But the elephant still remained in the room (he really did sound like an elephant.)
So the solution?? Well, I wish there was a surefire cure out there, but there isn't. That is because there are so many reasons behind it. Possible explanations: nasal and sinus problems, genetics, sleep posture, weight issues.
What did we try?? Sleep aids. For myself. I was prescribed Seroquel to assist my sleep problems awhile ago and decided to use it for this situation. This worked except I would often wake up groggy and I didn't want to drug myself all the time. I was also irritated by the fact that I was the one who had to do something about HIS snoring. Why didn't he do anything?
Next we tried the nose strips. I feel this is the standard go-to to cease snoring. And they would work on occasion, it was hit-and-miss with him, some days he wouldn't make a peep, and others, the elephant.
We tried the humidifier thinking maybe it was the dry air. He would drink a lot of water before going to bed and keep a water bottle next to him in case he woke up parched. It worked, but not enough, his snoring just had short interludes. I was still covering my ears and becoming far too comfortable with the couch.
Next: sleep position. He claimed that he didn't snore when he laid on his stomach. Turns out he snores EVEN LOUDER, something I didn't think was possible. We had him put his head up on towering pillows (something that helps me when I have my asthma). And this worked, but he woke up with too much pain in his neck. I eventually found that when he sleeps on his side, he snores the least. FINALLY!! A remission from the sledgehammer that laid next to me. But of course, he still manages to hock up a few good ones every now and then.
The Solution. ?
Let me paint you a picture of what our sleep set-up looks like:
My boyfriend pushed up against the wall (we found he loves to move in his sleep, especially ending up on his stomach, and we know how that goes!) with a water bottle by his head, him wearing a nose strip, and his head elevated. Cute?? Probably not. Successful in both of us getting decent sleep?? For the most part.
Through my sleep deprived journey I discovered a lot about our relationship, and life. I learned that something as insignificant as snoring can slowly break up a relationship. I learned how to be patient and take note of what really matters: us. He may never know how frustrating it was for me to not get sleep because of his snoring, but what matters more was that he was by my side willing to try anything. And every now and then he will snore intractably, and wake up to my fingers pinching his nose and an exasperated, but loving look on my face.