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How to Make My Boyfriend Stop Snoring

Updated on December 10, 2012
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The Problem.

I have been dating my boyfriend for about three months now, but it could have easily been broken off at two due to his snoring. If you look at it objectively, that seems like a juvenile reason to break up with someone. But subjectively, the person who is forced to lie awake at night with a pillow over her ears and praying that she falls asleep, it could be a deal breaker. And here's why:

The Beginning Snore

It starts out all soft and slightly endearing. Then it gradually crescendos in volume until it is deafening. When I first started dating said boyfriend he didn't snore. Can you believe it?? He was silent. And later on in our relationship it started. I felt that I had been tricked! The truth was finally coming out. And as much as I loved him, I loved and needed my sleep more. And it wasn't until I had to leave the room and sleep on the couch that we realized that it really needed to be addressed. I was now on a first name basis with all the sheep.

The Strain on the Relationship

I hate to admit it, but I resented him for snoring. I was jealous that he was far away in la la dreamland whilst I was awake and cringing in horror. I stopped spending the night at his house, and slowly we started to see less of each other. I felt as we were drifting apart, and for what?? SNORING?? How ridiculous. Even though I was exhausted and annoyed, I made an effort to spend the night when I didn't have to wake up early the next morning. I was trying to compromise. But the elephant still remained in the room (he really did sound like an elephant.)

The Attempts

So the solution?? Well, I wish there was a surefire cure out there, but there isn't. That is because there are so many reasons behind it. Possible explanations: nasal and sinus problems, genetics, sleep posture, weight issues.

What did we try?? Sleep aids. For myself. I was prescribed Seroquel to assist my sleep problems awhile ago and decided to use it for this situation. This worked except I would often wake up groggy and I didn't want to drug myself all the time. I was also irritated by the fact that I was the one who had to do something about HIS snoring. Why didn't he do anything?

Next we tried the nose strips. I feel this is the standard go-to to cease snoring. And they would work on occasion, it was hit-and-miss with him, some days he wouldn't make a peep, and others, the elephant.

We tried the humidifier thinking maybe it was the dry air. He would drink a lot of water before going to bed and keep a water bottle next to him in case he woke up parched. It worked, but not enough, his snoring just had short interludes. I was still covering my ears and becoming far too comfortable with the couch.

Next: sleep position. He claimed that he didn't snore when he laid on his stomach. Turns out he snores EVEN LOUDER, something I didn't think was possible. We had him put his head up on towering pillows (something that helps me when I have my asthma). And this worked, but he woke up with too much pain in his neck. I eventually found that when he sleeps on his side, he snores the least. FINALLY!! A remission from the sledgehammer that laid next to me. But of course, he still manages to hock up a few good ones every now and then.

The Solution. ?

Let me paint you a picture of what our sleep set-up looks like:

My boyfriend pushed up against the wall (we found he loves to move in his sleep, especially ending up on his stomach, and we know how that goes!) with a water bottle by his head, him wearing a nose strip, and his head elevated. Cute?? Probably not. Successful in both of us getting decent sleep?? For the most part.

The Point.

Through my sleep deprived journey I discovered a lot about our relationship, and life. I learned that something as insignificant as snoring can slowly break up a relationship. I learned how to be patient and take note of what really matters: us. He may never know how frustrating it was for me to not get sleep because of his snoring, but what matters more was that he was by my side willing to try anything. And every now and then he will snore intractably, and wake up to my fingers pinching his nose and an exasperated, but loving look on my face.

The Snore Effect

Has snoring signifcantly affected your relationship??

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    • profile image

      NovaLady 4 years ago

      Ladies, it could be your men have sleep apnea and don't realize it. If that's the case, they should see a doctor, because it's a serious condition which will get progressively worse. Perhaps you could phrase the "request" for them to get help in terms of worrying about their health or the quality of their sleep (or yours) having an impact on the quality of their sex drive (or yours). Loud snoring is not normal. Weight loss can help as can stopping smoking and drinking. Eating a balanced diet with fresh fruits and veggies can help. So can drinking plenty of water throughout the day so the throat tissues are very hydrated at night. For other tips like these, visit: http://www.bettersleeptonite.com and Good Luck!!

    • profile image

      Melphan 4 years ago

      My boyfriend is currently sleeping peacefully and snoring his butt off -.- ,while im on my laptop finding ways to stop this headache. We recently moved in together just a few weeks ago and so far its been like this since day 1. It has gotten to the point where i sleep in the other room.Im afraid that's how its always going to be. To make matters worse i have Misophonia. We haven't tried much yet, but i plan on taking him to the doctors very soon. Hopefully theres a cure to this madness but in the time being ill just sleep next door.

    • profile image

      Linda 4 years ago

      Well, don't have any issues with minor(not so loud) snoring from my boyfriend though. However I did notice something, that when he's soooooooooooooo tired from work then he ends up sounding like a boat honking. Like can you even believe that? Like someone can even help me? http://sleepsilproducciones.com/alteril-the-truth-...

    • B Noelle profile image
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      B Noelle 4 years ago

      c4rped1em thank you for your comment! I totally understand where you're coming from and have much empathy for you. It stinks that they don't realize how upsetting it is, I mean they're doing it but we're the ones suffering because of it!! As to what to do? Well I broke up with that particular boyfriend so I don't have that problem anymore! However, if you're looking to keep your mate I would try all the methods I listed above and hopefully one will work. Molly's input might be beneficial too: earplugs.

    • B Noelle profile image
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      B Noelle 4 years ago

      Molly, thank you for your comment! Can you believe it? Just from snoring!! Now that's a serious consequence. That's terrible, I hope you got those earplugs!!!

    • profile image

      c4rped1em 4 years ago

      Your entire post just described my current situation. I am ready to pull my damn hair out. It's 4:00 AM and we've been in bed since around midnight. The sound is driving me up the wall. At 2, I even went downstairs to watch a movie to get out of this room. I'm currently trying to play the "if I can't sleep, you can't sleep either" game by laying next to him with my Mac Book out doing work. IT'S NOT WORKING, and he's not showing any remorse. "What are you doing?" he asks. "I can't sleep." "Why? Am I really that loud?" "Uh... yeah. And it's 4AM." I'm CLEARLY grumpy. He just goes back to sleep and shows no emotion. If the tables were turned he would be crying like a baby. I seriously don't know what to do.

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      Molly S 5 years ago

      My bf and I been together for a year and half now , and he snores sooo loud , just last month I went to see a doctor because I couldn't hear anything in my right ear ... Thinking maybe I've lost my hearing , good news doctor said it looks fine and now I can hear but every now and then my ears would ring or have this humming noise . I could not sleep last night . I've tried ear plugs but I think I'm gonna have to invest in better ones if I want to keep my hearing . Lol another thing he snores even louder laying on his back like last night oh my goodness but when he lay on his side with his back away from me . Soooo much better but he moves a lot so I'll just end up waking up in the middle of the night . * sigh .

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      Venomlips 5 years ago

      Omg I'm in bed trying to sleep and hubby is passed out snoring away grinding his teeth and tossing and turning grrrrrr help me

    • poeticmentor profile image

      Asahda Shavaja Poet of the New Age 5 years ago from New York City

      This is too funny! My sweety snores and GRINDS HIS TEETH. OMG. I am at my wits end with it. I often wake up cursing him out because the teeth grinding wakes me up in the middle of my good dreams. I have tried the couch, moving his position or just grabbing his jaws while he sleeps and wiggle them. I love him so much and I would never want our relationship to end over his teeth..the snoring is bad but the teeth thing overwhelms the snoring. can you imagine? elephants? huh try the whole jungle coming at you at once. Lions, tigers and bears oh my! great hub voted up. lol

    • B Noelle profile image
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      B Noelle 5 years ago

      Thank you so much for your comment vanessafunk!! It's nice to know that other women have had to go through the snoring debacle as well and relate in finding just the right thing to assuage the snoring and its negative effects. I've heard that alcohol and smoking can cause snoring as well. There are lots of perks to switch over and be healthy!

    • vanessafunk profile image

      vanessafunk 5 years ago from Syracuse, New York

      So I have a husband I claim sounds like a yetti while he snores peacefully keeping me awake! The nasal strips didn't work for us because he would rip them off in the middle of the night (while still being asleep mind you) and stick them on whatever surface his hand landed on. Trying to pry them off the carpet and the headboard was not fun for me the next morning! He seems to snore no matter what position he is in. He likes to have at least one drink a night and I find if he doesn't drink at all the snoring is almost non-existent. So if he is off the next day or we are celebrating something so more drinks involved I know the snoring is going to be monumental! I had to invest in earplugs. But I had to find the right ones because if you get the wrong ones you get sores in your ears. The little pink ones are small for a female's ears. Don't be fooled by the purple ones. Purple makes you think girl but they are not as small as the pink ones. They don't completely block out the snoring but it makes it a dull roar. So if we leave the TV on low then it kind of just blends into the background. Plus I was afraid the ear plugs would keep me from hearing my alarm clock in the morning but I still hear it fine. So now I get sleep and my husband gets to keep me!