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How to Talk Comfortably with Someone You've Never Met

Updated on April 24, 2013

You’re in a room filled with people. You don’t know anyone, but you have to be there. It’s another one of those places in life where you just have to be.

I could think of a lot of reasons why you are there. Let’s see… Maybe you’re there because your boss suggested it. He said you could use a little bit of training on the new computer program at your job, so he suggested you attend for business purpose. But, I could be wrong. Perhaps you are in that crowded room because you really want to be. Maybe you’re in business for yourself like I am and you are attending this event to network. If you are an entrepreneur like me then you know the competition is tough, so I don’t blame you for stepping out alone. In this economy, you just have to get out and make powerful connections if you want to take your business to new heights. But what if those aren’t your reasons at all? What if you are there because you are on a blind date? What if this date is the man or woman of your dreams? Imagine this guy or girl you’re about to meet in a few moments just might be your Mr. or Ms. Right. Wow!

Indeed the stakes are high regardless anytime you have to talk to someone you’ve never met before. You don’t want to mess it up, but you get this uncomfortable feeling when you have to meet someone you’ve never met before. That’s understandable. Many people have felt the same way, but they have found ways to overcome the scary feelings and talk comfortably with anyone.


Let’s face it; meeting new people can be hard.

What’s even worst is when you and the new person are sitting or standing right next to each other.

What do you say?

Do you say anything at all?

Do you look away uncomfortably?

I know what goes through your head. You think that he or she is waiting for someone and has no interest in talking to you. You think as soon as you open up your mouth “someone” that they are waiting on will come up and take that new person away and leave you standing looking like…. Well you can imagine what you look like.

That’s what you need to do if you want to talk comfortably with someone you never met before.

In life, there will be major opportunities for you talk to someone new. You’ll need to be ready to seize those opportunities. The best way to do that is to have a clear vision of what you want to accomplish when meeting this new person.

Make A Connection


Establish a “We” Connection

In order to make a connection, you must understand why you need to connect in the first place. Does that sound confusing? Stay with me a moment so you can follow.

Are you attending a unique work event? If so, why do you want to talk to someone at the special work function anyway? You are probably like a lot people you want to have someone to talk to during breaks and down times. A bonus would be after talking to this person you discover that he or she is a good source for information, referral or may just end up being a new friend. Perhaps meeting someone while away from work just might be fun.

Know your reason. Here’s one of my reasons for attending business networking events; when I attend business networking events my purpose is to never, ever to sell my products or services. My sole purpose of attending is to make a business friend and/or help someone in their business. I believe when I take the focus off of me, I can better establish a “we” connection. It’s true, together everyone achieves more.

Give More Than You Ever Hope To Receive

I’m an Aquarius. I’ve been told that we collect friends like coins. The key to our success lies in our ability to be a friend. If you want a friend, you have to be a friend. If you want to talk to someone comfortably, then be comfortable when you talk.

One of my life principles is that the more I give, the more I get. I don’t go into any relationship or endeavor believing that if I give up something I’ll lose something. I believe the more I give, the more I get.

This holds true with most things in life. Answer this; what happens when you hold onto money too tight? If you have cash, pull it out and clench it in your hands real tight. What’s happening with it? Is it more appealing or are you destroying it? You are probably destroying it. The purpose of any possession is to use it for its right purpose. When you refuse to open your mouth and speak, you clench your teeth. A person with clenched teeth isn’t really cute, but one with a smiling face is. Our mouths, our smiles and our cash was meant to be released with joy and shared. When we do it comes back to us multiplied in a very positive and power way.

Remember these tips to speak comfortably to anyone;

  • Have a purpose
  • Know why you need to make a connection – even if it means just to have someone to talk to while you are there Smile at the person
  • Give a compliment
  • Share something personal about yourself – but not too personal

For example if at a work function say, “I'm as a clerk in XY dept. I’m here to learn this because I want to learn a new skill and possibly get a new job or promotion. Why are you here?” At a networking function, “I’m new to the area. I want to meet new people because it’s hard learning the ins and outs of a city by alone. How long have you lived in the area?” On a blind date, “I’m new to this type of dating. If I stumble, I hope you will catch me if I fall. I’m a bit clumsy. Is this your first blind date?” Offer to help or make a polite gesture. If they look uncomfortable, they probably are. Ask them if you could get them a drink. Say something about the event. If you are enjoying the event, ask the person if they like it. Talk about the speaker, presentation, or upcoming sessions. Look around there is much to talk about. Find something to break the ice then chill.

Now that you know what to do, get out there and talk comfortably to anyone about anything. After all, your smile, your voice and your knowledge is a gift. Gifts were meant to be shared. Give the gift of self and you’ll receive the gift of others.


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    • Janellegems profile image


      5 years ago from United States

      I really enjoyed this hub. You brought some good points in approaching people we never met before. Thanks for this new insight.

    • livelifeworryfree profile imageAUTHOR

      Princess Clark 

      6 years ago from The DMV

      Hi PaolaJpm! It's true, being true to who you are is the best image to present to the world. 1) It's easier to remember 2) You'll know the people you meet like you for you 3) You won't ever find yourself in an uncomfortable position because being ourselves is the best face we wear

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing.

    • PaoloJpm profile image

      John Paolo B.Magdaluyo 

      6 years ago from Philippine

      This is very good. Conversation either formal or informal should always be in the manner of humane in my point of view. But, I think, the always traditional and natural way on expressing to new ones is to be ourselves.

    • livelifeworryfree profile imageAUTHOR

      Princess Clark 

      6 years ago from The DMV

      Hi Rabergeronjr I agree with you. Opportunities are had for those who stand up to ask. It is especially true about our neighbors. I grew up in a community where neighbors were friends. Sadly that is not the case today. The good news is that we can get it started today. All the best to you and thanks for dropping by.

    • profile image


      6 years ago from Washington D.C. Metro Area


      I think this post is very helpful for many reason. Giving todays' economy and how everyone is looking for a solid career again, you never know where a job opportunity may come about. You may meet someone on vacation and have more in common with them then you may think. Next thing you know, you may be discussing job opportunities. Another reason why I think this hub is helpful is because I find it amazing that it is 2013 and there are a lot of people in communities today that have been living side-by-side to one another for years and still don't know one another. That is something we as a nation should really work on.


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